Title: Memories Altered
Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with DC. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary Naming his rat causes painful memories for Mick.
A/N: Written for [community profile] fandomweekly for prompt #38 Bloodlines with bonus prompt adoption. The show named the rat and really what else was I going to do with them naming it what they did?


Memories Altered:

Mick steps into his doorway, closing his eyes for a moment as he enjoys the quiet of the ship. Everyone’s asleep. He feels his shoulders start to relax, no expectation, no mission, no preconceived notion of who he is that he has to play into to keep the team from asking too many questions about what he’s lost or what he’s suffered. He runs a hand over his head and regards his rat. He wants to take it out of the cage and pet it, but he doesn’t have a name yet. He squats down so that the cage is in his eye level and takes a long slow deep breath. Is he really going to do this? Does he really want to remember more of his time as a weapon of the Time Masters?

“Gideon,” he forces himself to ask, “What should I name the rat?”

“Axel.”

He tilts sideways with the pain of the memories hitting him. Memories have hurt before, but not like this. His vision whites out.

A hand grips his shoulder. A voice calls his name, concern edging around the tone. He tries to say he’s fine, but he’s not sure he doesn’t do more than mumble. He sucks in a breath, lets the other person roll him onto his back and then blinks up at Ray.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “Fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Ray tells him as he sits down nearby.

Mick groans and forces himself to sit up, then sways. Ray moves over, props him up. Mick huffs at him in annoyance.

“What happened? Gideon said she hurt you.”

“She didn’t mean to.”

Gideon starts to apologize, but he waves her off. He blinks at Ray for a moment, willing himself to focus on the other man. He almost laughs when he can finally take Ray in, the disheveled hair, the loose sleep pants, the bare feet and chest. He pokes Ray in the stomach. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I was comfortable.”

Mick considers apologizing, but it won’t change anything. He points to one of his drawers and tells Ray that’s where his socks are.

“I’m more worried about you then my feet.”

“Your feet are making me cold.”

Ray’s hand is warm, through his shirt, against his back. Mick huffs out an annoyed noise, but Ray pushes anyway, “You want to tell me what happened?”

“Not really.”

He gets the full force of Ray’s concern in a look with big, dark eyes pleading with him. Mick groans.

“You’re not doing good,” Ray says slowly, as he takes Mick in.

Mick laughs. “Now you notice? After Gideon wakes you up to check on me?”

Ray looks hurt at that.

“I’m trying to remember things,” Mick sighs. “Doesn’t always work well.”

“What things?”

Mick settles against Ray’s shoulder, tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling and wonders if Ray will pull away. “The things the Time Masters stole from me. The things they made me do when I was Chronos. Sometimes the things I did for myself when I was Chronos, usually got in trouble for it.”

“And Gideon helps?”

Mick closes his eyes. “Sometimes.”

“How does that work?” Ray asks. Mick cringes at the determination in Ray’s tone. Ray’s thumb rubs against his back in comfort. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“If I can get to a certain level of drunk I can just rant things at her and she’s good at picking out what’s just me ranting and what’s me remembering. Later, when I’m sober, she can bring things up that help me remember them in a way that I can retain them.”

“The Time Masters,” Ray starts slowly, then stops.

Mick hums his agreement.

“Does it usually hurt you this badly?”

Mick sighs, “No. I just wasn’t expecting my life before Chronos to relate to memories as Chronos.”

Ray is silent and Mick knows there are questions and he’s not sure if he can answer.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Mick admits.

“Are you thinking about leaving?”

It isn’t healthy for him, staying here, but then he never has been good at self-preservation. “Someone has to keep you idiots alive and I don’t have any family left. I didn’t think I did, anyway. Can’t hurt Lisa, already lost Len.”

“I thought Len was your friend?”

“Partner,” he corrects. “He and Lisa basically adopted me as their family. When you’ve destroyed yours and everyone else that wants you to call them that has treated you like shit, you learn to build your own. I tried to tell Axel that, that’s the funny thing. I tried.”

“Axel?”

“Chronos had a kid.”

Ray swears.

Mick laughs. “Chronos figured it out, almost left over it, and the Time Masters made me forget. I knew Axel before this trip started, I knew him, and where he comes from is important to him, he wants that family history. I’ve got nothing to offer him that he’ll want in regards to that.”

“So what are you going to do?” Ray asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think you can stand?” Ray offers.

“Can we sit here instead?”

Ray wraps an arm around his shoulder and rubs his arm.
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