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I'm exhausted, today has been one of those emotional up and down things that leave you feeling drained. It started off good. I slept in, which is always a plus and then I got up and started some laundry. Nothing is better then sleeping of freshly cleaned sheets, well yeah, that thought makes me smile.
Then I went through the newpapers my Grandma had set aside for me and found out that a care facility nearby was having a 'job fair' today. So I went in, had a good interview and got asked to take a drug test. I was really happy about it because it would be a steady schedule and I'd make a whole fifty-five cents more then at my current job. I was thinking the drug test means I may get the job. It would be as a personal assistant on third shift. I was thinking I managed to do something productive today.
Then I got my comic books, headed out towards Taco Bell. I checked out the comic book store James pointed out to me yesterday. It was okay, the person working there was nice and friendly and knew what he was selling so that's always a plus. Then I went to Taco Bell because I figured while I was out there I might as well get a free drink before I head home.
The General Manager greeted me, let me have a drink, then told me she'd get with me in a few minutes. I was all um okay, because I thought maybe she wanted to talk to me about last week. I get my drink she tells me one more moment and then Kelly tells her that if she's going to talk to me that she, Kelly, wants to be there, at the very least wants to listen to what I'm saying. I was thinking that everything is getting blown way out of porportion and that I did want to talk with Kim, but only to tell her that if I did manage to get this job that I'd have to do training all next week and would maybe have to be late for a few shifts. If they weren't going to bring up the incident with Kelly I wasn't going to dwell on it because it was simply childish and stupid.
( What actually happened )
So anyway I went home to change my laundry around and my Dad gets in from work. I told him my good news and he took it as bad news cause he feels that I'm 'settling' when I'm 'so much better then that.' I love my Dad, but I ended up getting one of those 'you don't live up to your potential' speeches and asked to promise that if I do take this job (if it's even offered to me) that I'll keep looking. He told me that if I ended up working at this job for three months and hadn't found something else by then he's going to remind me everytime I see him that I had promised him I'd look for something else. I had hoped he'd be happy for me, but he said that when he went to school this place was known for not treating their workers really well and he's thinking that the postion I have is just an STNA thing. So yeah, he's not to happy with it and wants to know when I'm going to apply to May Company. My Mom decided awhile ago that May company would be the perfect job for me, and now my Dad does too. They've been pressuring me for months.
I'm jsut really tired of everyone telling me how I should live my life. I'm going to school to be a nurse, but I can't say that because it upsets my Mom because she doesn't think I'll be happy. Her sisters have told me how I won't be happy. They all presurre me to change my major. The thing is I'm not even in the program yet, I'm just getting the classes that you can take without being in the program out of the way because the waiting list is very long. The thing about changing my major is that my Grandma is helping me pay for my school, on the agreement that I'd do the nursing program. She really wants this for me and I think it would be a good opportunity to get a good job.
I'm worried though because I know that if I get into the program I'll have to do my clinicles at some point and those are rough and I know that most of my family won't be supporting me. So I'm actually stressed about that.
And my brother made me feel like an idiot today because I hadn't started my clinicles yet. I was all I'm not even in the program, I can't start them until I'm in the program. He made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I'm not that far along yet. I know I'm having trouble with this one class, but I think I can handle it this sememster.
I guess I just feel trapped. I feel like everyone I love is pulling me in several different directions and I don't know how to tell them to stop so I can make my own decisions without creating a lot of unwanted drama and pain. So I don't say anything.
Then I get home today and find out that my Grandma's inssuarance company dropped her. She's got enough meds to last her for now. My Dad's suppose to call and get everything fixed tomorrow. I'm hoping he does.
Then I went through the newpapers my Grandma had set aside for me and found out that a care facility nearby was having a 'job fair' today. So I went in, had a good interview and got asked to take a drug test. I was really happy about it because it would be a steady schedule and I'd make a whole fifty-five cents more then at my current job. I was thinking the drug test means I may get the job. It would be as a personal assistant on third shift. I was thinking I managed to do something productive today.
Then I got my comic books, headed out towards Taco Bell. I checked out the comic book store James pointed out to me yesterday. It was okay, the person working there was nice and friendly and knew what he was selling so that's always a plus. Then I went to Taco Bell because I figured while I was out there I might as well get a free drink before I head home.
The General Manager greeted me, let me have a drink, then told me she'd get with me in a few minutes. I was all um okay, because I thought maybe she wanted to talk to me about last week. I get my drink she tells me one more moment and then Kelly tells her that if she's going to talk to me that she, Kelly, wants to be there, at the very least wants to listen to what I'm saying. I was thinking that everything is getting blown way out of porportion and that I did want to talk with Kim, but only to tell her that if I did manage to get this job that I'd have to do training all next week and would maybe have to be late for a few shifts. If they weren't going to bring up the incident with Kelly I wasn't going to dwell on it because it was simply childish and stupid.
( What actually happened )
So anyway I went home to change my laundry around and my Dad gets in from work. I told him my good news and he took it as bad news cause he feels that I'm 'settling' when I'm 'so much better then that.' I love my Dad, but I ended up getting one of those 'you don't live up to your potential' speeches and asked to promise that if I do take this job (if it's even offered to me) that I'll keep looking. He told me that if I ended up working at this job for three months and hadn't found something else by then he's going to remind me everytime I see him that I had promised him I'd look for something else. I had hoped he'd be happy for me, but he said that when he went to school this place was known for not treating their workers really well and he's thinking that the postion I have is just an STNA thing. So yeah, he's not to happy with it and wants to know when I'm going to apply to May Company. My Mom decided awhile ago that May company would be the perfect job for me, and now my Dad does too. They've been pressuring me for months.
I'm jsut really tired of everyone telling me how I should live my life. I'm going to school to be a nurse, but I can't say that because it upsets my Mom because she doesn't think I'll be happy. Her sisters have told me how I won't be happy. They all presurre me to change my major. The thing is I'm not even in the program yet, I'm just getting the classes that you can take without being in the program out of the way because the waiting list is very long. The thing about changing my major is that my Grandma is helping me pay for my school, on the agreement that I'd do the nursing program. She really wants this for me and I think it would be a good opportunity to get a good job.
I'm worried though because I know that if I get into the program I'll have to do my clinicles at some point and those are rough and I know that most of my family won't be supporting me. So I'm actually stressed about that.
And my brother made me feel like an idiot today because I hadn't started my clinicles yet. I was all I'm not even in the program, I can't start them until I'm in the program. He made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I'm not that far along yet. I know I'm having trouble with this one class, but I think I can handle it this sememster.
I guess I just feel trapped. I feel like everyone I love is pulling me in several different directions and I don't know how to tell them to stop so I can make my own decisions without creating a lot of unwanted drama and pain. So I don't say anything.
Then I get home today and find out that my Grandma's inssuarance company dropped her. She's got enough meds to last her for now. My Dad's suppose to call and get everything fixed tomorrow. I'm hoping he does.
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