(no subject)

I did finally manage to get some sleep. It was so good.

Staying up like that wasn't good, but I had too much homework and had promised my family several things. I'd also thought I had the night off when I looked at the schedule and that's why I scheduled my family things on that day, but then I didn't have the night off. So I was up from about four thirty on the seventh to about noon on the ninth. By my Literture class at eleven I was struggling to keep my eyes open and felt like I was stoned, which isn't a feeling I like.

So I got some sleep after class, and woke up in time to grab something to eat and get to my evening class for the test we were taking. My teacher took one look at me and said that if I wasn't feeling well I could go home and make up the test later. I said I'd come back for lab and he said I didn't have to, that I should concentrate on getting better. So I went home and slept. I'm gonna take the test tomorrow. Thank God for nice teachers. I don't think I'd have done well on the test.

Since I had all day off today I got dressed up, got several compliments on my shoes. My brother of course pointed out that couldn't tell I was wearing makeup. Oh well. I visited him at work. Love him, just wish he wouldn't point out that he feels I talke oddly. He feels that I use words that are too big and need to use smaller everyday words that everyone is used to. His manager told him that I was probably just smarter then he was. They have a pretend hate relationship, they actually like each other.

Began research for a few stories today. Couldn't find two of the books I wanted, so will have to find a way to make due elsewhere.

My Creative Non-Fiction class went over well, was glad to turn in the story. We had a guest student come in and sit through a class, we were in the same Shakespeare class so we talked. We did a lot of talking amoungst ourselves this last class. One of the guys in the class started talking about his bi-polar disorder and he was trying to decide if he wanted to base a story of his experience or if he wanted to do something with self-mutilation, or as he put it 'cutting'. The he and I had to explain what cutting was to another student who didn't get it. For some reason without even thinking about it I used an example of what I used to do to myself. I haven't done it since I was eighteen and I never told anyone until Tuesday so I don't even know why I opened my mouth. It bothers me I wish I hadn't said anything.

I also ended up 'coming out' to the class. I really dispise having to come out to people. It bothers me that I can build a comradeship with someone and that this one small detail about my life can change how they precieve me from that moment forward. Nobody really said anything, except the one girl pointed out that if I really wanted to get married I could always move to Canada. Which I'm sorry is just stupid, I shouldn't have to move just to get the same rights as everyone else. The one guy who I thought was going to have a problem with it didn't even seem to bat an eyelash and we still had a good conversation afterward.

So that worked out.

I sorta feel the need to pose a question. I applied for life insurance through my job. So if I die my brother gets some money. Do I tell my brother? The thing is if I tell him he'll probably end up telling my parents and I don't think they'd understand. My dad didn't want me to get anything through my job because he didn't feel it'd be a good deal. So I told my mom I didn't. Then I decided to try and get this policy. I decided to wait on all the other stuff until October, to see if I'm still working there and still liking it. I just think that if my parents find out they'll be upset that I made my brother my benifactor and not them. The thing is I don't trust them to stick around once I start dating again, so I didn't feel comforable making them my benifactors. This is just stupid complicated. I'm just trying to figure out if I should tell my brother or not. Thoughts?

(no subject)

I did finally manage to get some sleep. It was so good.

Staying up like that wasn't good, but I had too much homework and had promised my family several things. I'd also thought I had the night off when I looked at the schedule and that's why I scheduled my family things on that day, but then I didn't have the night off. So I was up from about four thirty on the seventh to about noon on the ninth. By my Literture class at eleven I was struggling to keep my eyes open and felt like I was stoned, which isn't a feeling I like.

So I got some sleep after class, and woke up in time to grab something to eat and get to my evening class for the test we were taking. My teacher took one look at me and said that if I wasn't feeling well I could go home and make up the test later. I said I'd come back for lab and he said I didn't have to, that I should concentrate on getting better. So I went home and slept. I'm gonna take the test tomorrow. Thank God for nice teachers. I don't think I'd have done well on the test.

Since I had all day off today I got dressed up, got several compliments on my shoes. My brother of course pointed out that couldn't tell I was wearing makeup. Oh well. I visited him at work. Love him, just wish he wouldn't point out that he feels I talke oddly. He feels that I use words that are too big and need to use smaller everyday words that everyone is used to. His manager told him that I was probably just smarter then he was. They have a pretend hate relationship, they actually like each other.

Began research for a few stories today. Couldn't find two of the books I wanted, so will have to find a way to make due elsewhere.

My Creative Non-Fiction class went over well, was glad to turn in the story. We had a guest student come in and sit through a class, we were in the same Shakespeare class so we talked. We did a lot of talking amoungst ourselves this last class. One of the guys in the class started talking about his bi-polar disorder and he was trying to decide if he wanted to base a story of his experience or if he wanted to do something with self-mutilation, or as he put it 'cutting'. The he and I had to explain what cutting was to another student who didn't get it. For some reason without even thinking about it I used an example of what I used to do to myself. I haven't done it since I was eighteen and I never told anyone until Tuesday so I don't even know why I opened my mouth. It bothers me I wish I hadn't said anything.

I also ended up 'coming out' to the class. I really dispise having to come out to people. It bothers me that I can build a comradeship with someone and that this one small detail about my life can change how they precieve me from that moment forward. Nobody really said anything, except the one girl pointed out that if I really wanted to get married I could always move to Canada. Which I'm sorry is just stupid, I shouldn't have to move just to get the same rights as everyone else. The one guy who I thought was going to have a problem with it didn't even seem to bat an eyelash and we still had a good conversation afterward.

So that worked out.

I sorta feel the need to pose a question. I applied for life insurance through my job. So if I die my brother gets some money. Do I tell my brother? The thing is if I tell him he'll probably end up telling my parents and I don't think they'd understand. My dad didn't want me to get anything through my job because he didn't feel it'd be a good deal. So I told my mom I didn't. Then I decided to try and get this policy. I decided to wait on all the other stuff until October, to see if I'm still working there and still liking it. I just think that if my parents find out they'll be upset that I made my brother my benifactor and not them. The thing is I don't trust them to stick around once I start dating again, so I didn't feel comforable making them my benifactors. This is just stupid complicated. I'm just trying to figure out if I should tell my brother or not. Thoughts?