(no subject)

For the first time yesterday I ran into people I went to high school with and didn't have a panic attack. It was amazing, I was all proud of myself. Yes, yes, I know it's the little things.

Actually called James and got to talk to him. Which was just wow, haven't talked to any of my friends, except online, in forever. Except that I was on my cell in a store and while checking out, which is something I swore I never do. Never say never, I suppose. I hadn't talked to him in forever so I forgive myself that indulgence, though I still feel like a fool. The girl at the counter just laughed when I apolgoize and told me not to worry about it.

Worked with someone from another house yesterday, he was actually helpful, which is a shock, most times the people they send over don't do too much and I end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off...what an expression that is. Anyway shift finally ends and he just out of the blue mentions that I should got to Nigeria with him sometime and how I'd have to introduce him to my parents before he could take me. I'm was going wtf because I'd just met the guy, worked with him for one night, and have no idea if I'll even see him again so yeah it weirded me out. I told him that it sounded interesting and then proceed to bury myself in charting and putting clients clothes away. The whole reason the shift before me made sure that I had someone with me, and wasn't working alone with seven residents five of them in wheelchairs, was because one of the residents, clients, was 'going off' and well she's kinda scary when she gets in those modes so they didn't feel it was 'safe' that I work alone. Not safe if I work alone...yeah cause if there was a fire or an emergency I'd miracously be able to save all seven residents, it's so safe.

Chris called me a dyke the other night, she meant it as a compliment, but it made me laugh cause I've never been called that before. We're supposidly going out next Monday, so she can introduce me to her girl and er we can get drunk, which I haven't done in forever so hush with the omg she's gonna get drunk thing. Chris actually gave me an impromtu lesson in spanish yesterday, and let me tell you she went too fast for me...all I picked up was how to say 'sit down', but hey it worked to direct the client. When I told him to sit down in english he went over by his chair and gave me that 'you know I'm gonna make you say it more then once' look, said it in spanish, and boom he was listening. I'm going okay I obviously need to learn this. Actually he usually listens to me pretty well, if I can get his attention, have him look at me directly and then explain okay this is what is going on, he'll usually listen. I seem to have less difficultly redirecting him then some of the other staff.

Well enough about work.

It seems that I'm off my Edmund White kick and am suddenly on a James Earl Hardy kick so I ordered one of his book through a bookstore and another through a library. Been reading some John Preston, it's good.

I've been writing too, I finally finished the first part to a story. It's actually a harsh piece so I'm not sure anyones going to like it.

(no subject)

For the first time yesterday I ran into people I went to high school with and didn't have a panic attack. It was amazing, I was all proud of myself. Yes, yes, I know it's the little things.

Actually called James and got to talk to him. Which was just wow, haven't talked to any of my friends, except online, in forever. Except that I was on my cell in a store and while checking out, which is something I swore I never do. Never say never, I suppose. I hadn't talked to him in forever so I forgive myself that indulgence, though I still feel like a fool. The girl at the counter just laughed when I apolgoize and told me not to worry about it.

Worked with someone from another house yesterday, he was actually helpful, which is a shock, most times the people they send over don't do too much and I end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off...what an expression that is. Anyway shift finally ends and he just out of the blue mentions that I should got to Nigeria with him sometime and how I'd have to introduce him to my parents before he could take me. I'm was going wtf because I'd just met the guy, worked with him for one night, and have no idea if I'll even see him again so yeah it weirded me out. I told him that it sounded interesting and then proceed to bury myself in charting and putting clients clothes away. The whole reason the shift before me made sure that I had someone with me, and wasn't working alone with seven residents five of them in wheelchairs, was because one of the residents, clients, was 'going off' and well she's kinda scary when she gets in those modes so they didn't feel it was 'safe' that I work alone. Not safe if I work alone...yeah cause if there was a fire or an emergency I'd miracously be able to save all seven residents, it's so safe.

Chris called me a dyke the other night, she meant it as a compliment, but it made me laugh cause I've never been called that before. We're supposidly going out next Monday, so she can introduce me to her girl and er we can get drunk, which I haven't done in forever so hush with the omg she's gonna get drunk thing. Chris actually gave me an impromtu lesson in spanish yesterday, and let me tell you she went too fast for me...all I picked up was how to say 'sit down', but hey it worked to direct the client. When I told him to sit down in english he went over by his chair and gave me that 'you know I'm gonna make you say it more then once' look, said it in spanish, and boom he was listening. I'm going okay I obviously need to learn this. Actually he usually listens to me pretty well, if I can get his attention, have him look at me directly and then explain okay this is what is going on, he'll usually listen. I seem to have less difficultly redirecting him then some of the other staff.

Well enough about work.

It seems that I'm off my Edmund White kick and am suddenly on a James Earl Hardy kick so I ordered one of his book through a bookstore and another through a library. Been reading some John Preston, it's good.

I've been writing too, I finally finished the first part to a story. It's actually a harsh piece so I'm not sure anyones going to like it.

(no subject)

The only thing that really bothers me, really bugs me, just plain irks me is when it's revealed to someone that you're gay and they say that it's such a waste. How can you even say that to a person's face? How can you even think that? I am not a waste! My brother if he ends up with a man is not a waste!

This is probably why that scene in UK QaF series 2 where Stuart grabs Vince, kisses him and says, 'this is not a waste' or something along those lines always gets to me, because it's true and it does get said to us all the time. I even known people who aren't homophobic that'll say it. It doesn't make any sense to me and it just hurts.

(no subject)

The only thing that really bothers me, really bugs me, just plain irks me is when it's revealed to someone that you're gay and they say that it's such a waste. How can you even say that to a person's face? How can you even think that? I am not a waste! My brother if he ends up with a man is not a waste!

This is probably why that scene in UK QaF series 2 where Stuart grabs Vince, kisses him and says, 'this is not a waste' or something along those lines always gets to me, because it's true and it does get said to us all the time. I even known people who aren't homophobic that'll say it. It doesn't make any sense to me and it just hurts.