I've been mulling things around in my brain a lot lately. I have a lot of school work to catch up on, but am not worried about it. I'll manage to get it done, I always do. I need to buckle down next semester and do really well. I also realize that the next few semesters will be hard because I won't have any literature/english classes and that's going to upset me. Maybe I'll join a book club or something. I don't know.

Club's going well. I'm going to write an article for the newspaper on it. Which is nerve racking as I haven't done anything newspaper related since high school. In high school I edited my own page: The Prose Page, which I created by the way. I also did a lot of Pros/Cons often times writing both the Pro and the Con because sometimes not everyone would turn in their work. So I think I'll do okay, we'll have to wait and see.

I watched The Butterfly Effect for the first time yesterday. Loved! I also went to my cousin's Honor's Band concert. Elizabeth plays the flute and she was one of the three flutes that got a solo! I'm so proud of her. This is the one I remember as a red faced squalling baby and now she's in her teens. She makes me feel old, even though I'm only twenty-one.

I had a very good day today, probably because I got paid and spulrge and took myself shopping. I found these wonderful pictures. The guy who got me my copy of Alpha Flight 106 had a stand at the mall when I went and I got these black and white photes. I got one of James Dean, Brandon Lee cira The Crow, and Fred Astaire. I also got my favorite pic of Marlon Brando. Gah! So happy. I also managed to find the Stanley Kubrick version of Lolita, which I've had on order from the library for over a month now. Guess I'll have to go take my name off the list. I got a Bowie CD and a copy of Gothic Beauty, its a magazine, with a Neil Gaiman interview. I got a few other things too. Oh and yesterday I got a magazine that the library was giving away and it has Rita Moreno on the cover. I feel so materialistic, but at least I'm in a good mood.

I've been kinda bumming lately, not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself. Do I look around and try to get into a college that will give me the major I want or do I stay here and take care of my Grandma and get the Nursing degree she wants me to get? If I left I'd feel guilty because I don't see any of my other family members taking care of her and she's often said that if I no longer lived with her she sees herself at assisted living. If I stay then I might grow to resent her. I'm so conflicted right now because I feel like if I stay I'll never get to live my life and I'd go into it more but I'm starting to tear up and I just don't think I can share what's going through my head without my parents coming off as bad people and it's so not like that.
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