Title: Dear Santa from Dr. Radek Zelenka
Fandom: SGA
Pairings: Radek/Ronon with a hint of Lorne/Parrish
Rating: PG-15
Summery: Written for [livejournal.com profile] britin Dear Santa challenge which can be found here: http://britin.livejournal.com/205829.html This is what I think Radek would write.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything to do with Stargate Atlantis and am only doing this for fun.



Dear Santa,

This is ridicules. I don’t believe I have ever written a letter to a fictional being before, perhaps a letter to a dead scientist now and again to vent, but never to a fictional being. However as this is the suggested way to let the other party know what you’d like as a gift if you chose to participate in the ‘secret santa’ gift giving I suppose I can make an exception, especially since my boyfriend has been convinced to do so. For this holiday season I would like to receive:

1)Coffee – Believe it or not caffeine has the opposite effect on Rodney, excuse me you might know him as Dr. McKay, it calms him and if you can’t see the benefit of that than I can’t help you. If you have no coffee then give me your power bars so that I might bribe Rodney with them. If you are Rodney, I was only thinking of your stomach.

2)Either do so yourself or convince one of your friends to ask Dr. Kusanagi on a date. She really is quite shy, but brilliant. Anyone who can survive Dr. McKay’s ‘leadership’ as long as she has deserves to be given a chance. If you are Dr. Kusanagi, my upmost respect, I was hoping someone would be so kind as to drag you away from the lab every now and again. If you are Dr. McKay then please believe that I have the upmost ‘respect’ for you.

3)If you are willing to reveal yourself I could use an extra set of hands. Occasionally Major Lorne requests my presence on his team and it has nothing to do with engineering. I have noticed that when I point this out to him and suggest he take Dr. Parrish instead he has developed a twitch. Obviously he and Dr. Parrish need to resolve their differences. I suspect that a few hours locked in a small room so that they are forced to talk should suffice. If you are Major Lorne or Dr. Parrish please resolve your differences.

4)This one might require a bit of research. Every now and again Colonel Sheppard will invite a group of us to watch movies with him, many times these are sporting events. Please find him some film that is an actual movie combined with a sporting event, or get him new footage. If you are Colonel Sheppard, I thought perhaps you would like some variety.

5)If none of the above are feasible I suppose I could do with some chocolate or oranges. A blank flash drive would also be appreciated.

Yours respectfully,
Dr. Radek Zelenka

(If you are confused as to who I am, it can feel like a large base at times, find Dr. McKay as I will likely be ‘assisting’ him with an experiment. If you can’t figure it out from there then you might want to ask yourself what is someone of your intelligence level doing on Atlantis in the first place?)

~~~~~****~~~~~

Radek announced he was finished. He glanced up at Ronon who shoved his letter into Radek’s hands, “Here. Check it. I think I was detailed enough.”

Radek looked over the letter before he pointed out, “You included gate addresses. They’d have no excuse not to get you want you asked for.”

Ronon grinned.

Radek picked up his pen and added a P.S. to his letter. Ronon crossed over to read it, “'Ronon asked for only sharp pointy objects. He forgot to say that he could use some new shirts as well.' Why do I need new shirts?”

“So I can rip them off you,” Radek explained as he carefully folded his letter.

Ronon grinned, “I think I might like this holiday thing.”

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