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Title: The Cement That Binds Chapter 2
Fandom: Star Wars Rebels/Rogue One, Post A New Hope
Pairing: Ezra/Bodhi, Kallus/Zeb, Hera/Kanan, Obi-Wan/Rex, Cassian/Jyn, Chirrut/Baze
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Ghost Crew adopts Rogue One. They’re not sure if they blame Kallus or Chopper, maybe Ezra? Chopper just wants to help rebuild K-2SO.
A/N: Established relationships are Hera/Kanan, Chirruit/Baze, and Kallus/Zab. Developing relationships are Ezra/Bodhi (the meet cute tag) and Obi-Wan/Rex (the second chances tag).Thank you to MapleOwl18 for the encouragement and answering so many questions.
Previous Chapters: [1]
Chapter 2:
Zeb leans against the empty desk as Alex turns a slow circle in the middle of what used to be his office. Zeb is reasonably sure the only thing left in here is the desk, but he also knows how little sleep Alex has had in the last few days and if it’s going to make his boyfriend feel better to go over his office one last time then that’s what they’ll do. Alex runs a weary hand down his face, then slowly and methodically checks several hiding spots that Zeb didn’t even realize were there. Once Alex turns up empty handed he stands there looking lost. Zeb wonders if he can get Alex to take a nap.
Alex winces when he looks at him, then says, “I’m sorry I’ve been so…”
Zeb feels his ears flick up in concern and Alex breaks off. Zeb shakes his head and reaches for him. Alex steps into his embrace, lets Zeb pull him in close. He rests his forehead against Zeb’s shoulder and takes a long slow breath, as if just being this close to Zeb is helping him relax. Zeb lets out a low rumbling noise of comfort as he rubs his hands slowly over Alex’s back. He waits until he feels Alex relax more firmly against him before he reminds, "You were doing your job."
"I…" Alex starts then sighs.
"You were making sure the right team got sent to extract Rook," Zeb tells him gently. The sharp scent of fear that’s been driving Alex since he found out that an Imperial defector had gone to Saw Gerrera with important intel is finally ebbing. Zeb’s hoping the tang of guilt, that intermingles with the exhaustion Alex if finally letting himself feel, will dissipate with rest and reassurances.
"We still…" Alex winces, fingers clenching tightly and then easing as he leans more fully into Zeb, letting Zeb support him. They’ve lost a lot in the last few days, but the Rebellion isn’t defeated, they haven’t lost everything.
"You let us bring you food and you took breaks when you needed to. You don't have anything to apologize for," Zeb tries to reassure as he uses his claws to lightly scratch through Alex's hair.
Alex sighs. "You're going to put me to sleep."
Zeb guides Alex's face back with his hands and resists the urge to tell Alex that’s the point. Their eyes meet and Zeb wishes he could ease some of the pain there.
Zeb leans in and kisses him languidly. Alex shifts still closer as they continue to kiss. His hand coming up to cup Zeb's cheek. Zeb pulls back, but only slightly. “Do you think you can get a nap in or do you still have more to do?”
“I think I’ve cleared everything from Cassian’s office, but I should see if they’ll let me take him out of medical, so he can check,” Alex answers.
Zeb knows it’s important that they leave as little behind for the Imperials to find as possible, especially from the Intelligence department. He knows that the likelihood that they’ll get all the time they need to clear the base is unlikely, but he’s also not sure a medic wouldn’t take one look at Alex and find a way to make him sleep. Zeb brushes his fingers over Alex’s cheeks, hoping to sooth, as he points out, “I think your chances of talking a medic into letting you take Cassian to his office unsupervised are going to be more successful if you don’t look like you’re about to fall over.”
Alex snorts in amusement, but concedes, “All right. Do you have anywhere to be right now?”
“My room taking a nap with you,” Zeb answers.
Alex pulls him into a brief kiss, then takes his hand and sighs. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Zeb grins as they make their way to his room. “So I can talk sense into you?”
“Just this once.”
“Not so tired you can’t tease me. I see how it is.”
Alex laughs softly, then says,"The sooner we get out of here, the safer I'll feel. Do you have your ship assignment?"
Zeb shrugs. "Wherever they need Hera. They'll keep us together."
"I don't have my assignment yet either. Hopefully there won't be a mad scramble out of here," Alex muses.
"You're with us," Zeb tells him.
"Tell that to Draven," Alex responds dryly.
"Don't have to, Hera will."
His words make Alex smile. Then he closes his eyes as they pause outside Zeb’s door. Alex sways on his feet and Zeb wraps an arm around him as he punches in the room code. He stays close as Alex brushes his teeth, then takes off his jacket. He lets Zeb take off his boots and then holds him close. Once he’s sure Alex is comfortable curling against his side, Zeb reaches into his nightstand and pulls out his datapad. He rubs absently at Alex’s arm, smiling when Alex finally falls asleep.
Eventually he sets his datapad down, catching up on reports isn’t holding his attention when the Rebellion has lost so much in the last few days. He’s grateful to be alive, with his boyfriend sleeping next to him. He still has the family he’s become a part of over the last several years. He’d thought he lost everything, his whole world, when he’d lost most of his people. It’s been a long slow road to feeling something other than loss and pain. He knows there will be survivors of Jedha and Alderaan that are currently feeling the same. He keeps thinking about how long it took him to trust Hera and Kanan’s kindness, and Chopper’s prodding. He remembers how long it took him to let himself feel something other than the loss and how long it took him to trust he could be part of a family again. The memories, that pain, still sits with him, catching his breath at different times. He wishes that there weren’t members of the Rebellion that now feel as he felt years ago. He’s grateful they’re alive, but it’s a fate he wouldn’t wish on anyone. He also strongly suspects they’ll get an influx of people joining because they’re in pain, a lot will be seeking revenge. Maybe he can help with training? Helping people learn the skills they’ll need to survive may help him ease the sympathetic ache sitting in his chest.
Alex’s fingers tighten against his jumpsuit. He’s tense against Zeb’s side, his breathing starts to have a harsh edge to it. This pulls Zeb from his musing and he tilts his head to take Alex in. Alex twitches in his sleep.
“Kallus,” Zeb calls gently, not wanting to startle him, but also wanting to help him wake up. He tries again, putting more command in his tone. “Kallus, wake up.”
Alex presses closer to him with a shudder. Zeb tries to decide if he should use Alex’s last name again or his rank. Alex gasps, pressing a hand against the bed just above Zeb’s shoulder so he can leverage himself up. He blinks then stops moving.
“Zeb. Safe,” Alex mumbles to himself, before he groans and relaxes against Zeb again. He presses his face against Zeb’s shoulder and tangles their legs as his breathing slowly evens back out.
Zeb watches Alex as he relaxes, trying not to feel overwhelmed for an entirely different reason now. He sighs and leans in to rub his cheek against Alex’s hair as he whispers, “Love you too.”
Zeb sighs and closes his eyes. He decides that they both need a nap as he lets himself relax.
*
Cassian startles awake; his breathing harsh and his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He winces at the harsh lighting in the med bay. Jyn’s hand bunches into his shirt and she mumbles a sleepy reassurance against his back. Her forehead pressing firmly between his shoulder blades is a balm and Cassian feels himself exhale. Jyn is safe. He tilts his head and takes in the Guardians. Baze is seated on the berth, a datapad in his hand, as Chirrut sleeps curling around him. Where’s Bodhi? Cassian shifts slightly in Jyn’s hold, looking over at the berth Bodhi normally occupies. It’s empty. There’s just a pillow, no blanket. Cassian doesn’t like the way the sight makes his heart rate pick back up. It isn’t like him. It’s safer not to get attached, but one mission, a mission that takes Kaytoo from him, and he’s worrying about a team.
He allows himself coworkers, not friends, and yet the thought that Draven might have taken Bodhi for questioning makes his breath catch again. He’s worked with people as terrified, yet brave, as Bodhi before. They don’t live long. He’s killed a few himself. Cassian forces himself to go lax and slow his breathing. Bodhi is alive, for now. That’s something he can work with.
It should feel strange to care for a team. Kaytoo has been enough. Cassian winces and closes his eyes. He misses Kaytoo. Cassian always thought that Kaytoo would outlive him, not that he’d have to learn how to make do without Kaytoo.
“Are you in pain, Cassian?” Baze asks.
Cassian forces himself to breathe slowly as he catolgizes his various aches and pains. They’re no more or less than what he’s become used to in the last few days.
“Not physically,” he says dryly, attempting humor.
Baze snorts.
“Do you know where Bodhi went?” Cassian asks.
Baze reaches over Chirrut to the side of the bed to press his call button. He glances at the lights. Baze shrugs, then starts rubbing Chirrut’s back slowly. “It’s too bright and busy for Bodhi to rest properly.”
The group of them are in a bit of alcove, but it’s still loud. Cassian is used to the noise, it’s easy to tune out, but Bodhi is likely used to long cargo hauls where he’s the only one on the ship. It’s got to be quieter.
Jyn pats his chest and Cassian realizes how tense he still is. He grips her hand. She hooks her chin over his shoulder. “Who needs a beating?”
Cassian laughs weakly. All of them are doing better, but none of them are in any condition to fight, unless the situation is dire.
A familiar pale human with brown hair and a wide grin peeks around the corner. “Andor!”
“Graf,” Cassian greets.
“Friend of yours?” Baze asks as he reaches over and turns off the call button.
“Milo Graf,” Cassian introduces, “This is Baze Malbus, Jyn Erso. Chirrut is sleeping.”
Milo greets them with a wave as he steps into the small alcove. “I’ve known Cassian most of my life. My parents tried to adopt him when we first joined the Rebellion.”
“I can take care of myself,” Cassian protests.
Milo rolls his eyes. “I was nine when we joined. You’re a year younger than me.”
“Your monkey lizard was a terror. I didn’t want it around me.” The argument is old, familiar in a way that grounds Cassian.
Jyn is suddenly tense against his back, her arm tightening around him as she asks, “And what did the Rebellion have you do?”
Cassian glances back, but she’s looking over his shoulder at Milo. For the first time since they made it off Scarif Cassian finds himself worrying that Jyn doesn’t want to stay. Why does it feel like there’s suddenly a weight sitting on his chest? Jyn flattens her palm, rubbing in a slow circle as she hooks her chin over her shoulder and presses her cheek against his. Cassian exhales as the feeling in his chest eases. He really needs to get Kaytoo back, he’s not used to feeling this untethered. He backed Kaytoo up, but it’s tricky enough to reprogram Imperial Security Droids, trying to rebuild Kaytoo from scratch is beyond him. He’s relatively sure that Kaytoo would want to be brought back, but not if that means overriding another droid's programming. Rebuilding is the best option, but Cassian doesn’t think he can make it a priority or even where to start. Maybe Milo’s sister, Lina, could help? She’d probably at least have an idea of what parts he needs. How does he ask? What would be the best way to broach the topic?
Milo reaches above them to press something on the monitor. “Let’s turn that off before it alarms. You’re already calming down.”
Cassian raises his eyebrows.
Milo gives him a fond smile, then addresses Jyn’s question. “Mostly we were protected, encouraged to keep out of trouble and do school work. I was really into zoology and xenobiology so I started helping out the medics when they let me.”
Jyn nods.
“He wants to know where Rook went,” Baze tells Milo as he indicates Cassian with his chin.
“He snuck out again?” Milo asks as he looks at his datapad. “Looks like he fell asleep in one of the maintenance sheds. Zeb called it in. I can go get him.”
Captain Orrelios would’ve at least made sure that Bodhi was comfortable and safe. It’s probably better to let Bodhi sleep, even though Cassian would prefer he do so in the med bay where they can all keep an eye on him.
“Let him sleep,” Baze decides.
Chopper rolls into the room and around Milo so he can bump against Cassian’s bed. “We put him in the Ghost, in Ezra’s bunk.”
“Ezra? Sure hope he can find us once we leave,” Milo comments as he taps at the datapad, likely noting what Chopper just said.
“Ezra Bridger is part of General Syndulla’s crew. He isn’t currently here,” Cassian explains as he squeezes Jyn’s hand, then reaches out to touch the top of Chopper’s chassis. Bodhi will be safe on the Ghost. Cassian tells himself not to worry about Bridger finding the Rebellion once they go mobile. Bridger’s been with them long enough that he’ll at least know old code phrases that they still teach to recruiting agents. Bridger will find them or word will get back to someone who will inform someone in Syndulla’s crew. If he goes to Lothal first it’ll be easier for him, they have a rotation of people keeping an eye on the still newly freed world.
“Ezra is here now,” Chopper informs him.
Cassian closes his eyes, let's himself savor that one more person has found their way back to the Rebellion. Jyn asks Chopper. “Do we need to move Bodhi?”
“He’s sleeping,” Chopper reassures. “Ezra knows to leave him alone.”
Cassian rubs his knuckle across the top of Chopper’s chassis, in the way he knows Chopper likes, as he insists. “No one debriefs Rook except me or Kallus.”
Bodhi’s been through enough. Cassian doesn’t want anyone near Bodhi that he doesn’t feel he can trust to be gentle with him. It’s obvious from Kallus’ reaction when he heard about Bodhi going to Saw with Galen’s information that Kallus will be in the same frame of mind about Bodhi that Cassian is. More importantly, to Cassian, he trusts Kallus. He might have to make a nuisance of himself to Draven, but he doesn’t trust Draven to be kind. He’s not sure Bodhi is ready to deal with the kind of harsh truths Draven can dole out when he’s prodding for information. Everyone else is too new, Cassian only has a peripheral feel for them. Maybe if Tano were here Cassian would trust her, but as far as he knows she’s still on Lothal. Maybe Melshi if he hadn’t left on one of the first transports off Yavin. No, it’ll have to be him or Kallus.
As Cassian takes his hand back Chopper reaches out with a pincher and gives him a gentle squeeze. “We’re going to rebuild Kaytoo.”
A desperate sort of hope flares in Cassian’s chest. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make that a priority.”
“I’m going to help,” Chopper reassures. “AP-5 will help too.”
If anyone can find the parts that they’ll need for Kaytoo it’ll be AP-5. He might actually get Kaytoo back!
“Ask Crater,” Milo suggests. “He and AP-5 are friends and he’ll get my sister to help.”
Chopper bleeps his agreement. “I’ll ask them.”
“Thank you,” Jyn tells Chopper.
Chopper trills an acknowledgement at her. Milo dims the light in their alcove. Chirrut’s shifts to tug at Baze’s shirt as he asks, “What did he just do?”
As Milo turns to address him, Baze sighs through his nose. “He dimmed the lights.”
“Did you see how?” Chirrut asks, tilts his head up towards Baze.
“Yes,” Baze reassures.
“Good, everyone is more relaxed now.”
Baze makes a considering noise then leans in to kiss Chirrut.
“Anything else I can help you with?” Milo asks.
“No, thanks Milo,” Cassian reassures as he relaxes into Jyn’s embrace.
Chopper bleeps his goodbye as he wheels away. Milo reaches over to fix the blanket that’s covering him and Jyn. Jyn murmurs against his back, already going back to sleep. Cassian closes his eyes. He’s still so very tired.
*
The meeting seems to be a last minute check in with all the generals on base before they begin their final evacuation of Yavin IV. They also go over the plan for if the Imperials show up before they’ve finished evacuating. Obi-Wan offers suggestions where he can, though he’s finding himself slightly perturbed that he’s here. It makes him worry that they think he’s still a general. He knows there’s another Jedi on the base, but he appears to be the only one at the meeting, so maybe there’s hope that the Rebellion doesn’t automatically assume that if one is a Jedi this means they’re automatically a general.
Towards the end of the meeting he requests permission for him and Luke to return to Tatooine. There are a few things he wants to clear out of his home and there may be things Luke will want to get from his. General Syndulla volunteers her team and her shuttle to assist him. Obi-Wan considers objecting, she’d approached him before the meeting and asked him to stay after. He knows she just had a child with the Jedi, but Obi-Wan can’t recall ever meeting or even hearing about a Kanan Jarrus. He’s assuming it’s an identity taken on after the purge, but he doesn’t know since he’s been told that Jarrus is in the med bay with the flu. Will Hera be less inclined to assist him if she doesn’t like his answers to her questions? As the meeting continues Obi-Wan finds himself more at ease with the idea. She's competent, professional, but also firm in all her interactions, even when Draven wants her newly returned son to be questioned about his whereabouts over the last several months. It’s a relief to know that Ezra is safe.
“He disappeared with Thrawn,” Draven says. “I know you and Jarrus have decided that he was traveling with the purrgil, but we still need to be thorough.”
“And I can appreciate that,” Hera counters. “However, Kallus needs rest. Ezra can be interviewed once Kallus has recovered from overworking himself over the last few days.”
“Kallus is too close to your group. I would prefer Andor,” Draven tells her.
“That’s reasonable,” Hera agrees.
Finally the meeting ends and Obi-Wan relaxes into his seat waiting as everyone but Hera slowly trickles out of the room. She regards him quietly for a moment. He keeps his face neutral, wanting to know what she feels is so important that she needs to question him, but private enough that she didn’t want to bring it up at the meeting.
“I want to know about Maul,” Hera finally tells him.
Obi-Wan stares and then realizes why she’s asking. He nods and attempts to reassure, “I told Ezra I would take care of him and I did.”
Hera presses her lips together as she regards him for another brief moment, then she states, “He blinded Kanan and kept pushing Ezra to become his apprentice. I need to know he’s dead.”
“He is.”
“You’re sure?”
“I buried him myself.”
“Good.”
Obi-Wan leans back in his chair. “Is that all?”
“No,” she tells him before she shifts her chair back and stands. She comes around the table to sit near him. Perhaps she wants to figure out the details of just who is going to take him and Luke to Tatooine? He wants to ask about Kanan and her child, but he doesn’t want to put her on the defensive. A part of him also wants to know if she’s related to Cham Syndulla. He remembers how much respect Mace had for him. Then Hera tells him, “I want to ask what you know about the clones and why they killed the Jedi.”
He doesn’t want to talk about that. He doesn’t want to think about his family dying at the hands of people he once also considered family, friends. He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath. “I’d really rather not.”
“So you don’t know about the chips?”
“Chips?” Obi-Wan opens his eyes and stares at her. There’s a sinking sense of certainty ringing through him. “We were told they were to inhibit aggression.”
He’s not sure what he can say about Tup or Fives. He was there when Tup killed Tiplee and then Tup was dying too, did die. Then Fives was suddenly paranoid afterwards and it’d been easy to accept the explanation they’d been given.
Hera shakes her head and takes his hands, squeezing them in comfort. Obi-Wan isn’t sure he wants the comfort, isn’t sure he’s ready to hear what she’s going to tell him. “There was an order and the chip ensured they followed it and then followed all orders they were given after.”
Obi-Wan grips her hand tightly. All this time he’s thought it was Cody’s choice to try and kill him. It hurts. Cody didn’t have a choice and he hadn’t realized, now it’s probably too late to do anything to help any of the clones. He thinks about Boil, Crys, and Wooley. It hurts to think of any of the men who’d been in his care being forced to work for the Empire
“They hunted Kanan when he escaped. It took him time to feel comfortable working with…”
“You have clones here? Who?”
“They’re not on the base currently,” Hera says. “I wanted to talk to you before they…”
“Who?” Obi-Wan insists.
“Ahsoka and Rex are headed here now. Wolffe is currently on Lothal. We worked with Gregor too, but he died helping us liberate Lothal,” Hera informs him.
Three, out of the millions of clones only two are alive and working with the Rebellion. What happened to the rest? What happened to his men? Are they all brainwashed slaves of the Empire? Obi-Wan closes his eyes. This isn’t a hurt he’s prepared to deal with. He forces himself to take a deep breath as he promises himself he’ll find the time to process this later. He squeezes Hera’s hand. “Ahsoka and Rex. I’ll want to see them before we leave for Tatooine.”
Ahsoka and Rex, it’s easier for him to think about seeing them, to know they survived, then to deal with the loss and memories Hera’s words have brought him.
Hera’s smile is kind and full of sympathy. “That’s why they’re headed here, to see you. My crew and I consider them family, I didn’t want you seeing Rex again to go badly.”
“Thank you,” Obi-Wan nods, before he attempts to smile.
She raises an eyebrow at him. He raises both his eyebrows. She shakes her head and gives his hands one more quick squeeze, then stands. “Come with me.”
He follows her through the hallways to another room. There’s a cart inside stacked with boxes and a desk. In the chair behind the desk a man is leaning back in a chair. His eyes are closed and there’s a sleeping baby resting on his chest. He doesn’t open his eyes as he tilts his head towards them. “We adopting him too?”
“You know me too well,” Hera laughs.
Obi-Wan’s first instinct is to object. Hera and Kanan are so much younger than him. He’s too old to be adopted. Then he looks at Kanan, at how young he is still, and realizes Kanan seems familiar. He tilts his head. “I knew you once.”
Kanan’s smile is wistful. This brings up memories for them both. “A long time ago. I was Caleb Dume. I was Master Billaba’s padawan.”
Obi-Wan reaches out and uses Hera’s arm to steady himself. She shifts so she’s pressing against his side, letting him know she’s there for him to lean on if he needs to. Obi-Wan closes his eyes and lets himself take a brief moment. It’s overwhelming, the joy mixing with the grief. Depa had been one of his friends, a trusted advisor and confidant. Obi-Wan sighs and takes in Kanan, breathing and holding his son. “Thank you. That question you asked about the return signal helped me decide how to turn everyone away.”
Kanan nods and sighs. He’s feeling the same joy and grief that Obi-Wan is. Kanan rubs the baby’s back and tells him, “Come meet Jacen.”
There’s so much they should talk about, so much they should catch up on, but Jacen yawns, then scrunches his nose. Obi-Wan finds himself smiling. There’s always such hope with babies, with younglings. He makes his way over and greets both Kanan and Jacen. As Jacen’s fingers curl around his Obi-Wan finds himself hoping that the joy of Jacen’s presence won’t turn to grief. He finds himself wanting to help them ensure that Jacen is safe and cared for.
Fandom: Star Wars Rebels/Rogue One, Post A New Hope
Pairing: Ezra/Bodhi, Kallus/Zeb, Hera/Kanan, Obi-Wan/Rex, Cassian/Jyn, Chirrut/Baze
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Ghost Crew adopts Rogue One. They’re not sure if they blame Kallus or Chopper, maybe Ezra? Chopper just wants to help rebuild K-2SO.
A/N: Established relationships are Hera/Kanan, Chirruit/Baze, and Kallus/Zab. Developing relationships are Ezra/Bodhi (the meet cute tag) and Obi-Wan/Rex (the second chances tag).Thank you to MapleOwl18 for the encouragement and answering so many questions.
Previous Chapters: [1]
Chapter 2:
Zeb leans against the empty desk as Alex turns a slow circle in the middle of what used to be his office. Zeb is reasonably sure the only thing left in here is the desk, but he also knows how little sleep Alex has had in the last few days and if it’s going to make his boyfriend feel better to go over his office one last time then that’s what they’ll do. Alex runs a weary hand down his face, then slowly and methodically checks several hiding spots that Zeb didn’t even realize were there. Once Alex turns up empty handed he stands there looking lost. Zeb wonders if he can get Alex to take a nap.
Alex winces when he looks at him, then says, “I’m sorry I’ve been so…”
Zeb feels his ears flick up in concern and Alex breaks off. Zeb shakes his head and reaches for him. Alex steps into his embrace, lets Zeb pull him in close. He rests his forehead against Zeb’s shoulder and takes a long slow breath, as if just being this close to Zeb is helping him relax. Zeb lets out a low rumbling noise of comfort as he rubs his hands slowly over Alex’s back. He waits until he feels Alex relax more firmly against him before he reminds, "You were doing your job."
"I…" Alex starts then sighs.
"You were making sure the right team got sent to extract Rook," Zeb tells him gently. The sharp scent of fear that’s been driving Alex since he found out that an Imperial defector had gone to Saw Gerrera with important intel is finally ebbing. Zeb’s hoping the tang of guilt, that intermingles with the exhaustion Alex if finally letting himself feel, will dissipate with rest and reassurances.
"We still…" Alex winces, fingers clenching tightly and then easing as he leans more fully into Zeb, letting Zeb support him. They’ve lost a lot in the last few days, but the Rebellion isn’t defeated, they haven’t lost everything.
"You let us bring you food and you took breaks when you needed to. You don't have anything to apologize for," Zeb tries to reassure as he uses his claws to lightly scratch through Alex's hair.
Alex sighs. "You're going to put me to sleep."
Zeb guides Alex's face back with his hands and resists the urge to tell Alex that’s the point. Their eyes meet and Zeb wishes he could ease some of the pain there.
Zeb leans in and kisses him languidly. Alex shifts still closer as they continue to kiss. His hand coming up to cup Zeb's cheek. Zeb pulls back, but only slightly. “Do you think you can get a nap in or do you still have more to do?”
“I think I’ve cleared everything from Cassian’s office, but I should see if they’ll let me take him out of medical, so he can check,” Alex answers.
Zeb knows it’s important that they leave as little behind for the Imperials to find as possible, especially from the Intelligence department. He knows that the likelihood that they’ll get all the time they need to clear the base is unlikely, but he’s also not sure a medic wouldn’t take one look at Alex and find a way to make him sleep. Zeb brushes his fingers over Alex’s cheeks, hoping to sooth, as he points out, “I think your chances of talking a medic into letting you take Cassian to his office unsupervised are going to be more successful if you don’t look like you’re about to fall over.”
Alex snorts in amusement, but concedes, “All right. Do you have anywhere to be right now?”
“My room taking a nap with you,” Zeb answers.
Alex pulls him into a brief kiss, then takes his hand and sighs. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Zeb grins as they make their way to his room. “So I can talk sense into you?”
“Just this once.”
“Not so tired you can’t tease me. I see how it is.”
Alex laughs softly, then says,"The sooner we get out of here, the safer I'll feel. Do you have your ship assignment?"
Zeb shrugs. "Wherever they need Hera. They'll keep us together."
"I don't have my assignment yet either. Hopefully there won't be a mad scramble out of here," Alex muses.
"You're with us," Zeb tells him.
"Tell that to Draven," Alex responds dryly.
"Don't have to, Hera will."
His words make Alex smile. Then he closes his eyes as they pause outside Zeb’s door. Alex sways on his feet and Zeb wraps an arm around him as he punches in the room code. He stays close as Alex brushes his teeth, then takes off his jacket. He lets Zeb take off his boots and then holds him close. Once he’s sure Alex is comfortable curling against his side, Zeb reaches into his nightstand and pulls out his datapad. He rubs absently at Alex’s arm, smiling when Alex finally falls asleep.
Eventually he sets his datapad down, catching up on reports isn’t holding his attention when the Rebellion has lost so much in the last few days. He’s grateful to be alive, with his boyfriend sleeping next to him. He still has the family he’s become a part of over the last several years. He’d thought he lost everything, his whole world, when he’d lost most of his people. It’s been a long slow road to feeling something other than loss and pain. He knows there will be survivors of Jedha and Alderaan that are currently feeling the same. He keeps thinking about how long it took him to trust Hera and Kanan’s kindness, and Chopper’s prodding. He remembers how long it took him to let himself feel something other than the loss and how long it took him to trust he could be part of a family again. The memories, that pain, still sits with him, catching his breath at different times. He wishes that there weren’t members of the Rebellion that now feel as he felt years ago. He’s grateful they’re alive, but it’s a fate he wouldn’t wish on anyone. He also strongly suspects they’ll get an influx of people joining because they’re in pain, a lot will be seeking revenge. Maybe he can help with training? Helping people learn the skills they’ll need to survive may help him ease the sympathetic ache sitting in his chest.
Alex’s fingers tighten against his jumpsuit. He’s tense against Zeb’s side, his breathing starts to have a harsh edge to it. This pulls Zeb from his musing and he tilts his head to take Alex in. Alex twitches in his sleep.
“Kallus,” Zeb calls gently, not wanting to startle him, but also wanting to help him wake up. He tries again, putting more command in his tone. “Kallus, wake up.”
Alex presses closer to him with a shudder. Zeb tries to decide if he should use Alex’s last name again or his rank. Alex gasps, pressing a hand against the bed just above Zeb’s shoulder so he can leverage himself up. He blinks then stops moving.
“Zeb. Safe,” Alex mumbles to himself, before he groans and relaxes against Zeb again. He presses his face against Zeb’s shoulder and tangles their legs as his breathing slowly evens back out.
Zeb watches Alex as he relaxes, trying not to feel overwhelmed for an entirely different reason now. He sighs and leans in to rub his cheek against Alex’s hair as he whispers, “Love you too.”
Zeb sighs and closes his eyes. He decides that they both need a nap as he lets himself relax.
*
Cassian startles awake; his breathing harsh and his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He winces at the harsh lighting in the med bay. Jyn’s hand bunches into his shirt and she mumbles a sleepy reassurance against his back. Her forehead pressing firmly between his shoulder blades is a balm and Cassian feels himself exhale. Jyn is safe. He tilts his head and takes in the Guardians. Baze is seated on the berth, a datapad in his hand, as Chirrut sleeps curling around him. Where’s Bodhi? Cassian shifts slightly in Jyn’s hold, looking over at the berth Bodhi normally occupies. It’s empty. There’s just a pillow, no blanket. Cassian doesn’t like the way the sight makes his heart rate pick back up. It isn’t like him. It’s safer not to get attached, but one mission, a mission that takes Kaytoo from him, and he’s worrying about a team.
He allows himself coworkers, not friends, and yet the thought that Draven might have taken Bodhi for questioning makes his breath catch again. He’s worked with people as terrified, yet brave, as Bodhi before. They don’t live long. He’s killed a few himself. Cassian forces himself to go lax and slow his breathing. Bodhi is alive, for now. That’s something he can work with.
It should feel strange to care for a team. Kaytoo has been enough. Cassian winces and closes his eyes. He misses Kaytoo. Cassian always thought that Kaytoo would outlive him, not that he’d have to learn how to make do without Kaytoo.
“Are you in pain, Cassian?” Baze asks.
Cassian forces himself to breathe slowly as he catolgizes his various aches and pains. They’re no more or less than what he’s become used to in the last few days.
“Not physically,” he says dryly, attempting humor.
Baze snorts.
“Do you know where Bodhi went?” Cassian asks.
Baze reaches over Chirrut to the side of the bed to press his call button. He glances at the lights. Baze shrugs, then starts rubbing Chirrut’s back slowly. “It’s too bright and busy for Bodhi to rest properly.”
The group of them are in a bit of alcove, but it’s still loud. Cassian is used to the noise, it’s easy to tune out, but Bodhi is likely used to long cargo hauls where he’s the only one on the ship. It’s got to be quieter.
Jyn pats his chest and Cassian realizes how tense he still is. He grips her hand. She hooks her chin over his shoulder. “Who needs a beating?”
Cassian laughs weakly. All of them are doing better, but none of them are in any condition to fight, unless the situation is dire.
A familiar pale human with brown hair and a wide grin peeks around the corner. “Andor!”
“Graf,” Cassian greets.
“Friend of yours?” Baze asks as he reaches over and turns off the call button.
“Milo Graf,” Cassian introduces, “This is Baze Malbus, Jyn Erso. Chirrut is sleeping.”
Milo greets them with a wave as he steps into the small alcove. “I’ve known Cassian most of my life. My parents tried to adopt him when we first joined the Rebellion.”
“I can take care of myself,” Cassian protests.
Milo rolls his eyes. “I was nine when we joined. You’re a year younger than me.”
“Your monkey lizard was a terror. I didn’t want it around me.” The argument is old, familiar in a way that grounds Cassian.
Jyn is suddenly tense against his back, her arm tightening around him as she asks, “And what did the Rebellion have you do?”
Cassian glances back, but she’s looking over his shoulder at Milo. For the first time since they made it off Scarif Cassian finds himself worrying that Jyn doesn’t want to stay. Why does it feel like there’s suddenly a weight sitting on his chest? Jyn flattens her palm, rubbing in a slow circle as she hooks her chin over her shoulder and presses her cheek against his. Cassian exhales as the feeling in his chest eases. He really needs to get Kaytoo back, he’s not used to feeling this untethered. He backed Kaytoo up, but it’s tricky enough to reprogram Imperial Security Droids, trying to rebuild Kaytoo from scratch is beyond him. He’s relatively sure that Kaytoo would want to be brought back, but not if that means overriding another droid's programming. Rebuilding is the best option, but Cassian doesn’t think he can make it a priority or even where to start. Maybe Milo’s sister, Lina, could help? She’d probably at least have an idea of what parts he needs. How does he ask? What would be the best way to broach the topic?
Milo reaches above them to press something on the monitor. “Let’s turn that off before it alarms. You’re already calming down.”
Cassian raises his eyebrows.
Milo gives him a fond smile, then addresses Jyn’s question. “Mostly we were protected, encouraged to keep out of trouble and do school work. I was really into zoology and xenobiology so I started helping out the medics when they let me.”
Jyn nods.
“He wants to know where Rook went,” Baze tells Milo as he indicates Cassian with his chin.
“He snuck out again?” Milo asks as he looks at his datapad. “Looks like he fell asleep in one of the maintenance sheds. Zeb called it in. I can go get him.”
Captain Orrelios would’ve at least made sure that Bodhi was comfortable and safe. It’s probably better to let Bodhi sleep, even though Cassian would prefer he do so in the med bay where they can all keep an eye on him.
“Let him sleep,” Baze decides.
Chopper rolls into the room and around Milo so he can bump against Cassian’s bed. “We put him in the Ghost, in Ezra’s bunk.”
“Ezra? Sure hope he can find us once we leave,” Milo comments as he taps at the datapad, likely noting what Chopper just said.
“Ezra Bridger is part of General Syndulla’s crew. He isn’t currently here,” Cassian explains as he squeezes Jyn’s hand, then reaches out to touch the top of Chopper’s chassis. Bodhi will be safe on the Ghost. Cassian tells himself not to worry about Bridger finding the Rebellion once they go mobile. Bridger’s been with them long enough that he’ll at least know old code phrases that they still teach to recruiting agents. Bridger will find them or word will get back to someone who will inform someone in Syndulla’s crew. If he goes to Lothal first it’ll be easier for him, they have a rotation of people keeping an eye on the still newly freed world.
“Ezra is here now,” Chopper informs him.
Cassian closes his eyes, let's himself savor that one more person has found their way back to the Rebellion. Jyn asks Chopper. “Do we need to move Bodhi?”
“He’s sleeping,” Chopper reassures. “Ezra knows to leave him alone.”
Cassian rubs his knuckle across the top of Chopper’s chassis, in the way he knows Chopper likes, as he insists. “No one debriefs Rook except me or Kallus.”
Bodhi’s been through enough. Cassian doesn’t want anyone near Bodhi that he doesn’t feel he can trust to be gentle with him. It’s obvious from Kallus’ reaction when he heard about Bodhi going to Saw with Galen’s information that Kallus will be in the same frame of mind about Bodhi that Cassian is. More importantly, to Cassian, he trusts Kallus. He might have to make a nuisance of himself to Draven, but he doesn’t trust Draven to be kind. He’s not sure Bodhi is ready to deal with the kind of harsh truths Draven can dole out when he’s prodding for information. Everyone else is too new, Cassian only has a peripheral feel for them. Maybe if Tano were here Cassian would trust her, but as far as he knows she’s still on Lothal. Maybe Melshi if he hadn’t left on one of the first transports off Yavin. No, it’ll have to be him or Kallus.
As Cassian takes his hand back Chopper reaches out with a pincher and gives him a gentle squeeze. “We’re going to rebuild Kaytoo.”
A desperate sort of hope flares in Cassian’s chest. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make that a priority.”
“I’m going to help,” Chopper reassures. “AP-5 will help too.”
If anyone can find the parts that they’ll need for Kaytoo it’ll be AP-5. He might actually get Kaytoo back!
“Ask Crater,” Milo suggests. “He and AP-5 are friends and he’ll get my sister to help.”
Chopper bleeps his agreement. “I’ll ask them.”
“Thank you,” Jyn tells Chopper.
Chopper trills an acknowledgement at her. Milo dims the light in their alcove. Chirrut’s shifts to tug at Baze’s shirt as he asks, “What did he just do?”
As Milo turns to address him, Baze sighs through his nose. “He dimmed the lights.”
“Did you see how?” Chirrut asks, tilts his head up towards Baze.
“Yes,” Baze reassures.
“Good, everyone is more relaxed now.”
Baze makes a considering noise then leans in to kiss Chirrut.
“Anything else I can help you with?” Milo asks.
“No, thanks Milo,” Cassian reassures as he relaxes into Jyn’s embrace.
Chopper bleeps his goodbye as he wheels away. Milo reaches over to fix the blanket that’s covering him and Jyn. Jyn murmurs against his back, already going back to sleep. Cassian closes his eyes. He’s still so very tired.
*
The meeting seems to be a last minute check in with all the generals on base before they begin their final evacuation of Yavin IV. They also go over the plan for if the Imperials show up before they’ve finished evacuating. Obi-Wan offers suggestions where he can, though he’s finding himself slightly perturbed that he’s here. It makes him worry that they think he’s still a general. He knows there’s another Jedi on the base, but he appears to be the only one at the meeting, so maybe there’s hope that the Rebellion doesn’t automatically assume that if one is a Jedi this means they’re automatically a general.
Towards the end of the meeting he requests permission for him and Luke to return to Tatooine. There are a few things he wants to clear out of his home and there may be things Luke will want to get from his. General Syndulla volunteers her team and her shuttle to assist him. Obi-Wan considers objecting, she’d approached him before the meeting and asked him to stay after. He knows she just had a child with the Jedi, but Obi-Wan can’t recall ever meeting or even hearing about a Kanan Jarrus. He’s assuming it’s an identity taken on after the purge, but he doesn’t know since he’s been told that Jarrus is in the med bay with the flu. Will Hera be less inclined to assist him if she doesn’t like his answers to her questions? As the meeting continues Obi-Wan finds himself more at ease with the idea. She's competent, professional, but also firm in all her interactions, even when Draven wants her newly returned son to be questioned about his whereabouts over the last several months. It’s a relief to know that Ezra is safe.
“He disappeared with Thrawn,” Draven says. “I know you and Jarrus have decided that he was traveling with the purrgil, but we still need to be thorough.”
“And I can appreciate that,” Hera counters. “However, Kallus needs rest. Ezra can be interviewed once Kallus has recovered from overworking himself over the last few days.”
“Kallus is too close to your group. I would prefer Andor,” Draven tells her.
“That’s reasonable,” Hera agrees.
Finally the meeting ends and Obi-Wan relaxes into his seat waiting as everyone but Hera slowly trickles out of the room. She regards him quietly for a moment. He keeps his face neutral, wanting to know what she feels is so important that she needs to question him, but private enough that she didn’t want to bring it up at the meeting.
“I want to know about Maul,” Hera finally tells him.
Obi-Wan stares and then realizes why she’s asking. He nods and attempts to reassure, “I told Ezra I would take care of him and I did.”
Hera presses her lips together as she regards him for another brief moment, then she states, “He blinded Kanan and kept pushing Ezra to become his apprentice. I need to know he’s dead.”
“He is.”
“You’re sure?”
“I buried him myself.”
“Good.”
Obi-Wan leans back in his chair. “Is that all?”
“No,” she tells him before she shifts her chair back and stands. She comes around the table to sit near him. Perhaps she wants to figure out the details of just who is going to take him and Luke to Tatooine? He wants to ask about Kanan and her child, but he doesn’t want to put her on the defensive. A part of him also wants to know if she’s related to Cham Syndulla. He remembers how much respect Mace had for him. Then Hera tells him, “I want to ask what you know about the clones and why they killed the Jedi.”
He doesn’t want to talk about that. He doesn’t want to think about his family dying at the hands of people he once also considered family, friends. He closes his eyes and takes a slow breath. “I’d really rather not.”
“So you don’t know about the chips?”
“Chips?” Obi-Wan opens his eyes and stares at her. There’s a sinking sense of certainty ringing through him. “We were told they were to inhibit aggression.”
He’s not sure what he can say about Tup or Fives. He was there when Tup killed Tiplee and then Tup was dying too, did die. Then Fives was suddenly paranoid afterwards and it’d been easy to accept the explanation they’d been given.
Hera shakes her head and takes his hands, squeezing them in comfort. Obi-Wan isn’t sure he wants the comfort, isn’t sure he’s ready to hear what she’s going to tell him. “There was an order and the chip ensured they followed it and then followed all orders they were given after.”
Obi-Wan grips her hand tightly. All this time he’s thought it was Cody’s choice to try and kill him. It hurts. Cody didn’t have a choice and he hadn’t realized, now it’s probably too late to do anything to help any of the clones. He thinks about Boil, Crys, and Wooley. It hurts to think of any of the men who’d been in his care being forced to work for the Empire
“They hunted Kanan when he escaped. It took him time to feel comfortable working with…”
“You have clones here? Who?”
“They’re not on the base currently,” Hera says. “I wanted to talk to you before they…”
“Who?” Obi-Wan insists.
“Ahsoka and Rex are headed here now. Wolffe is currently on Lothal. We worked with Gregor too, but he died helping us liberate Lothal,” Hera informs him.
Three, out of the millions of clones only two are alive and working with the Rebellion. What happened to the rest? What happened to his men? Are they all brainwashed slaves of the Empire? Obi-Wan closes his eyes. This isn’t a hurt he’s prepared to deal with. He forces himself to take a deep breath as he promises himself he’ll find the time to process this later. He squeezes Hera’s hand. “Ahsoka and Rex. I’ll want to see them before we leave for Tatooine.”
Ahsoka and Rex, it’s easier for him to think about seeing them, to know they survived, then to deal with the loss and memories Hera’s words have brought him.
Hera’s smile is kind and full of sympathy. “That’s why they’re headed here, to see you. My crew and I consider them family, I didn’t want you seeing Rex again to go badly.”
“Thank you,” Obi-Wan nods, before he attempts to smile.
She raises an eyebrow at him. He raises both his eyebrows. She shakes her head and gives his hands one more quick squeeze, then stands. “Come with me.”
He follows her through the hallways to another room. There’s a cart inside stacked with boxes and a desk. In the chair behind the desk a man is leaning back in a chair. His eyes are closed and there’s a sleeping baby resting on his chest. He doesn’t open his eyes as he tilts his head towards them. “We adopting him too?”
“You know me too well,” Hera laughs.
Obi-Wan’s first instinct is to object. Hera and Kanan are so much younger than him. He’s too old to be adopted. Then he looks at Kanan, at how young he is still, and realizes Kanan seems familiar. He tilts his head. “I knew you once.”
Kanan’s smile is wistful. This brings up memories for them both. “A long time ago. I was Caleb Dume. I was Master Billaba’s padawan.”
Obi-Wan reaches out and uses Hera’s arm to steady himself. She shifts so she’s pressing against his side, letting him know she’s there for him to lean on if he needs to. Obi-Wan closes his eyes and lets himself take a brief moment. It’s overwhelming, the joy mixing with the grief. Depa had been one of his friends, a trusted advisor and confidant. Obi-Wan sighs and takes in Kanan, breathing and holding his son. “Thank you. That question you asked about the return signal helped me decide how to turn everyone away.”
Kanan nods and sighs. He’s feeling the same joy and grief that Obi-Wan is. Kanan rubs the baby’s back and tells him, “Come meet Jacen.”
There’s so much they should talk about, so much they should catch up on, but Jacen yawns, then scrunches his nose. Obi-Wan finds himself smiling. There’s always such hope with babies, with younglings. He makes his way over and greets both Kanan and Jacen. As Jacen’s fingers curl around his Obi-Wan finds himself hoping that the joy of Jacen’s presence won’t turn to grief. He finds himself wanting to help them ensure that Jacen is safe and cared for.