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Title: No Matter How Lonely
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing: Alpha/Obi-Wan
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: One moment Obi-Wan is doing errands and the next Alpha is there.
A/N: Written for kj_feybarn for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maythe4thbewithyou. The title is from the Mary Oliver poem "Wild Geese." In my head this is set after the Kenobi series, but I didn't write anything that would firmly set it there in the timeline so really up to the reader when this is set. References the Republic Comics and the Clone Wars (2008) cartoon.
No Matter How Lonely:
Obi-Wan is only in town to get a part for his vaporator. He’s debating perusing the market before he leaves when Alpha is suddenly just there at his elbow. There’s no warning of danger. Alpha doesn’t feel angry, no he…
“I want to talk,” Alpha informs him.
Obi-Wan steps into the lip of the nearest alleyway and turns so that his back is against the wall. Alpha steps in front of him. There’s disbelief warring with hope in his eyes. It’s been years. Anakin was still a padawan the last time he saw Alpha. It’s been more than a decade and yet Alpha’s presence still feels like a balm. Alpha raises his hands, likely to show Obi-Wan that he’s doesn’t have a weapon in them. His eyes are still darting over Obi-Wan’s face. One hand reaches out, as if he’s going to touch, but then just hovers there near his cheek. Now is not the time to make a joke about Alpha not trying to kill him.
As if he can read the inappropriate joke in Obi-Wan’s eyes Alpha snorts, then shakes his head. “You’re alive. I-I thought Cody karking killed you.”
“He tried,” Obi-Wan manages before reaching out and cupping Alpha’s face. How can he not with the way Alpha’s voice cracks? The two of them had been through so much at the start of the Clone Wars together. All he wants to do is offer comfort to the man before him. His touch seems to undo some of Alpha’s hesitation and Alpha cups his face as well, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together.
“You’re alive,” Alpha repeats.
“You’re not trying to kill me?” Obi-Wan asks.
Alpha shifts, tilts his head until their eyes meet. There’s still so close that he can feel Alpha’s breath on his face, can almost feel the solid weight of the other man’s body pressing close.
“I didn’t have a control chip in my head,” Alpha explains.
“Control chip?” Obi-Wan repeats in horror. Guilt washes through him.
“Don’t,” Alpha tells him. “You did what you had to do to stay alive. So many didn’t. You didn’t know. There was nothing you could’ve done differently.”
Except what if he had? Obi-Wan closes his eyes as he remembers learning about the chips. “There was, Fives found out about them and tried to warn us. He died and we were told that they were aggression inhibitors.”
Obi-Wan expects Alpha to pull away, step back, and start to blame him. He’d been on the Council. Obi-Wan has spent long nights considering the things he could’ve done differently, but that doesn’t change anything, but then he didn’t have this information.
Alpha glances out the alleyway, then leans in, his lips close to Obi-Wan’s ear as he whispers, “This isn’t your fault. This is Palpatine’s fault and if I could kill him I would.”
Obi-Wan wants to say he’d help, except this is just a whispered fantasy. There’s no way to really kill Palpatine and even if there was Obi-Wan can’t leave Luke unprotected.
“I’d let you,” Obi-Wan manages.
Alpha rests his forehead briefly against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Of course you would.”
Alpha looks at him then, eyes still drinking him in as if he can’t believe Obi-Wan is standing there alive and solid before him. It makes Obi-Wan ache. He’s hyperaware of where Alpha’s fingers flex against his cheek, where his other fingers curl around Obi-Wan’s shoulder. His own hands now curl around Alpha’s wrists and he wants to press closer. How long has it been since he’s touched anyone? Since anyone has touched him? Obi-Wan wants to invite Alpha back to his home. He doesn’t want Alpha to leave. He suddenly achingly doesn’t want to be alone.
“Well, this isn’t…” Obi-Wan starts.
Alpha interrupts him with a brief laugh. “Are we going to banter?”
Obi-Wan wants to say they always did, almost wants to slip into flirting. They’d had sex once, before Alpha went back to Kamino to teach. Alpha had asked, pointing out they were no longer in each other’s chain of command. They’d both been mostly recovered from their time being tortured and held by Ventress and the sex had been a comfort, almost grounding.
“Are we going to flirt?” Alpha pushes. Obi-Wan recognizes the lust in Alpha’s eyes because he can feel it in his own as he thinks about their last night together.
“My banter wasn’t always flirting,” Obi-Wan finds himself laughing. It feels good to laugh.
Alpha raises his eyebrows.
Obi-Wan lets his hands come up to rest at the back of Alpha’s neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair, thumbs brushing against Alpha’s cheek. “I, however, think we can conclude, that with you it was always flirting.”
Alpha smirks, then tilts his head so that his lips brush against Obi-Wan’s forehead. Then he presses his forehead against Obi-Wan’s again. They still. Breathe each other in.
“I want to kiss you,” Alpha informs him. “Then I want you to come back to my hotel with me and get something to eat. We can take the food back to my room, get caught up. I know you can’t trust me yet and I understand that, but maybe you trust me enough to let me get you into my bed. And maybe you let me stay. And maybe eventually you let me help you protect whoever it is that you’re living here for.”
This can still be a trap, except that Obi-Wan doesn’t sense deception from Alpha and deception wasn’t ever Alpha’s way.
“You were always so preceptive,” Obi-Wan allows. Of course, Alpha realizes he’s staying on Tatooine to protect someone. Obi-Wan presses closer. He’s about to ask Alpha to kiss him. Their eyes meet. Alpha uses his hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek to tilt his head and then they’re kissing. It’s rough. Alpha presses him firmly into the wall. Their lips move in tandem. Alpha’s tongue sweeps into Obi-Wan’s mouth and Obi-Wan just manages to keep himself from groaning. Maybe they won’t go exactly in the order Alpha described.
Alpha abruptly pulls away and chastises himself, maybe both of them, “Not in the open.”
“You have a hotel room?” Obi-Wan prompts.
Alpha grins and takes his hand. Obi-Wan lets himself be led out of the alleyway, lets himself bask in the hope that Alpha’s feeling. He’s starting to feel hopeful too.
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing: Alpha/Obi-Wan
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: One moment Obi-Wan is doing errands and the next Alpha is there.
A/N: Written for kj_feybarn for
maythe4thbewithyou. The title is from the Mary Oliver poem "Wild Geese." In my head this is set after the Kenobi series, but I didn't write anything that would firmly set it there in the timeline so really up to the reader when this is set. References the Republic Comics and the Clone Wars (2008) cartoon.No Matter How Lonely:
Obi-Wan is only in town to get a part for his vaporator. He’s debating perusing the market before he leaves when Alpha is suddenly just there at his elbow. There’s no warning of danger. Alpha doesn’t feel angry, no he…
“I want to talk,” Alpha informs him.
Obi-Wan steps into the lip of the nearest alleyway and turns so that his back is against the wall. Alpha steps in front of him. There’s disbelief warring with hope in his eyes. It’s been years. Anakin was still a padawan the last time he saw Alpha. It’s been more than a decade and yet Alpha’s presence still feels like a balm. Alpha raises his hands, likely to show Obi-Wan that he’s doesn’t have a weapon in them. His eyes are still darting over Obi-Wan’s face. One hand reaches out, as if he’s going to touch, but then just hovers there near his cheek. Now is not the time to make a joke about Alpha not trying to kill him.
As if he can read the inappropriate joke in Obi-Wan’s eyes Alpha snorts, then shakes his head. “You’re alive. I-I thought Cody karking killed you.”
“He tried,” Obi-Wan manages before reaching out and cupping Alpha’s face. How can he not with the way Alpha’s voice cracks? The two of them had been through so much at the start of the Clone Wars together. All he wants to do is offer comfort to the man before him. His touch seems to undo some of Alpha’s hesitation and Alpha cups his face as well, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together.
“You’re alive,” Alpha repeats.
“You’re not trying to kill me?” Obi-Wan asks.
Alpha shifts, tilts his head until their eyes meet. There’s still so close that he can feel Alpha’s breath on his face, can almost feel the solid weight of the other man’s body pressing close.
“I didn’t have a control chip in my head,” Alpha explains.
“Control chip?” Obi-Wan repeats in horror. Guilt washes through him.
“Don’t,” Alpha tells him. “You did what you had to do to stay alive. So many didn’t. You didn’t know. There was nothing you could’ve done differently.”
Except what if he had? Obi-Wan closes his eyes as he remembers learning about the chips. “There was, Fives found out about them and tried to warn us. He died and we were told that they were aggression inhibitors.”
Obi-Wan expects Alpha to pull away, step back, and start to blame him. He’d been on the Council. Obi-Wan has spent long nights considering the things he could’ve done differently, but that doesn’t change anything, but then he didn’t have this information.
Alpha glances out the alleyway, then leans in, his lips close to Obi-Wan’s ear as he whispers, “This isn’t your fault. This is Palpatine’s fault and if I could kill him I would.”
Obi-Wan wants to say he’d help, except this is just a whispered fantasy. There’s no way to really kill Palpatine and even if there was Obi-Wan can’t leave Luke unprotected.
“I’d let you,” Obi-Wan manages.
Alpha rests his forehead briefly against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Of course you would.”
Alpha looks at him then, eyes still drinking him in as if he can’t believe Obi-Wan is standing there alive and solid before him. It makes Obi-Wan ache. He’s hyperaware of where Alpha’s fingers flex against his cheek, where his other fingers curl around Obi-Wan’s shoulder. His own hands now curl around Alpha’s wrists and he wants to press closer. How long has it been since he’s touched anyone? Since anyone has touched him? Obi-Wan wants to invite Alpha back to his home. He doesn’t want Alpha to leave. He suddenly achingly doesn’t want to be alone.
“Well, this isn’t…” Obi-Wan starts.
Alpha interrupts him with a brief laugh. “Are we going to banter?”
Obi-Wan wants to say they always did, almost wants to slip into flirting. They’d had sex once, before Alpha went back to Kamino to teach. Alpha had asked, pointing out they were no longer in each other’s chain of command. They’d both been mostly recovered from their time being tortured and held by Ventress and the sex had been a comfort, almost grounding.
“Are we going to flirt?” Alpha pushes. Obi-Wan recognizes the lust in Alpha’s eyes because he can feel it in his own as he thinks about their last night together.
“My banter wasn’t always flirting,” Obi-Wan finds himself laughing. It feels good to laugh.
Alpha raises his eyebrows.
Obi-Wan lets his hands come up to rest at the back of Alpha’s neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair, thumbs brushing against Alpha’s cheek. “I, however, think we can conclude, that with you it was always flirting.”
Alpha smirks, then tilts his head so that his lips brush against Obi-Wan’s forehead. Then he presses his forehead against Obi-Wan’s again. They still. Breathe each other in.
“I want to kiss you,” Alpha informs him. “Then I want you to come back to my hotel with me and get something to eat. We can take the food back to my room, get caught up. I know you can’t trust me yet and I understand that, but maybe you trust me enough to let me get you into my bed. And maybe you let me stay. And maybe eventually you let me help you protect whoever it is that you’re living here for.”
This can still be a trap, except that Obi-Wan doesn’t sense deception from Alpha and deception wasn’t ever Alpha’s way.
“You were always so preceptive,” Obi-Wan allows. Of course, Alpha realizes he’s staying on Tatooine to protect someone. Obi-Wan presses closer. He’s about to ask Alpha to kiss him. Their eyes meet. Alpha uses his hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek to tilt his head and then they’re kissing. It’s rough. Alpha presses him firmly into the wall. Their lips move in tandem. Alpha’s tongue sweeps into Obi-Wan’s mouth and Obi-Wan just manages to keep himself from groaning. Maybe they won’t go exactly in the order Alpha described.
Alpha abruptly pulls away and chastises himself, maybe both of them, “Not in the open.”
“You have a hotel room?” Obi-Wan prompts.
Alpha grins and takes his hand. Obi-Wan lets himself be led out of the alleyway, lets himself bask in the hope that Alpha’s feeling. He’s starting to feel hopeful too.