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Title: My Hands Are Yours
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters/Pairings: Padmé/Sabé
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Padmé considers her options after Queen Réillata asks her to become a senator. She wants the job, but she also wants Sabé there by her side.
A/N: For sapphictealeaf for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
femslashex. Queen's Shadow explains where Sabé and the other handmaidens end up and why Padmé has different ones after her terms as Queen Amidala end up, but I wanted to play with the idea that she asks Sabé to go with her to Coruscant instead. The title is from a line in Queen's Shadow: "That's as may be," Sabé said. "But my hands are yours for as long as you need them. I was only waiting for you to ask."
My Hands Are Yours:
Padmé knows that techinically she's an adult, but for the first time in a long time she feels like a child. It's no longer a feeling she enjoys.
She gives up the mantle, the responsiblities, of being Queen because it's time to pass that burden on. She does so with all the grace and pomp the tradition requires. Her handmaidens are there to support her. The new Queen asks her to become their senator on Coruscant. Padmé know she probably should make that decision before she leaves the palace, on that last night with her handmaidens, her dearest friends. She also knows that if she does instead of enjoying each others company they'll plot and plan. Sabé will take up her idea of helping free slaves from Tatooine and Padmé will have to say goodbye, possibly for good. She's not ready for that. So she sees them off to their new lives. And then she takes her planned vacation.
She expects rest, relaxation, and reflection. Instead she finds herself restless and wanting to get up to date on anything political happening in the galaxy. Some habits of being queen prove easy to shed, others have become ingrained. They're a part of her now.
Her family arranges several dates for her so that she can peruse her options as she prepares to settle down and raise the next generation of polititicans. She tries to take it as the dristraction it could be, but the whole process sours her stomach. She feels too young to be thinking about raising children. Saché is younger than her and happily married to Yané, with the two looking forward to raising children. She's happy for them, but doesn't feel as if she's at a place in her life for that to be her. Maybe one day, but not today. Saché, Padmé reminds herself, is also beginning her journey as a senator.
The offer to become a senator starts to feel like a lifeline to Padmé. It starts to feel like everything she wants. She also needs to plan. She'll need new handmaidens. She realizes quickly she doesn't want to do this, take on this next responsilbity, without Sabé by her side.
It's not difficult to locate her friend, confidante. Padmé misses her and it's a relief to know Sabé is coming to visit. She sets out a lunch for them on her parent's terrance. Sabé holds her close and Padmé allows herself to sink into the embrace. The hug lingers in a way they never would've allowed when they were queen and handmaiden. Padmé hadn't been able to show favor then, not openly, not with the chance that someone who could hurt them might see. They part slowly. They sit, but they don't eat. Sabé reaches for her hand. Padmé entangles their fingers.
"You knew what your answer would be when Queen Réillata asked," Sabe says, putting that truth out between them.
"She gave me time to consider," Padmé points out. It's more to herself than Sabé, though Sabé agrees. "And I wanted the time with my family."
The persona she took on, being Queen Amidala, hadn't left time or circumstances where she could easily spend time with her family. Most of her suitors think she's a former handmaiden. They don't suspect she was actually Amidala. She'll lose that possiblity of anonymity when she becomes senator. It's a sacrafice Padmé is willing to make.
"You deserve it, the time with your family," Sabé points out gently.
"I've felt selfish and bored," Padmé admits. There's guilt in that. Shouldn't she be enjoying this time to reconnect with her family? Instead she feels childish for wanting to reject her parents expectations.
"You're not." Two words and Padmé knows from her tone that there's no arguing with Sabé.
"I've not been," Padmé agrees. "But in some ways I feel I have. I could've made decisions to accept Queen Réillata's offer before leaving the palace. We always planned better in a group."
"A few comms and we'll have plans."
We'll. Always the two of them. They're still holding hands, their fingers intertwined.
"You'd have left," Padmé admits. "Offered to go to Tatooine in my stead."
"It's a good idea. A way for you to not have to give up on that goal, but also take up this new one," Sabé reasons.
"A way to be in two places at once," Padmé challenges.
Sabé hesitates, in a way she wouldn't have a few days prior. A few days ago she hadn't had time to consider who she'd be if she wasn't Padmé's double. Padmé squeezes her hand. Sabé admits, "Perhaps we both needed the time off."
"Do you think a double will still be necessary?" Padmé asks.
Sabé considers this, her thumb brushing lightly over the back of Padmé hand. "There are the assassination attempts."
"If you're acting as my double you won't really see yourself as my equal and I'd prefer if you did," Padmé manages. "I..."
She's not sure how to finish that thought. Sabé's lips quirk and she tilts her head. It's not one of her own mannerisms or one of the carefully currated for the Amidala persona that they've worked on together. This is wholly Sabé. It makes Padmé's breath catch.
"I care about you," Padmé says. "I want to know who we could become when we don't have to share a persona."
"You were always my Queen," Sabé says. "I was there to ensure you lived and that your goals were met even if your enemies sought to elminate you. I'm comfortable with those being my goals again."
It's Padmé's turn to hesitate.
"But you're right. I wouldn't see myself as your equal," Sabé continues.
"If I want you as my equal, a member of my household, an advisor, even a bodyguard if necessary, but not a double, is there a way..." Padmé blows out a breath of frustration. She's not one that's usually at a loss for words.
"I don't know what you're asking," Sabé admits.
"I want this," Padmé tells her squeezing her hand again. "I want our closeness and meals together, but I also want more, but I can't ask that of you if you're my double, if I'm not asking you to always be yourself. I need you as you. I want you as you."
"You don't want someone to see you wanting me and mistake it for you wanting yourself?" Sabé teases.
Padmé laughs.
"I've wanted you to," Sabé admits.
"I don't think I ever learned how to date," Padmé winces. "The few my parents have sent me on in the last few days have been awful."
Sabé leans in. "A few? Already a few?"
Padmé wrinkles her nose in a way she wouldn't have before, not while queen. Sabé laughs.
"It was that bad!" Padmé defends. "And none of them were right because none of them were you."
Sabé eyes go soft in a way that Padmé craves. She uses their handhold to draw Padmé's hand to her and kiss the back of it. Padmé feels her breath catch, every part of her attune to the intensity of Sabé's gaze.
"You'll still need a double," Sabé defends. "But given your argument for why it can't be me I won't object to us finding someone else. As for dating, I was only waiting for you to ask."
Padmé nods, not trusting her voice, somethings she's come to rely on these last few years. Sabé leans in over the table. Padmé meets her halfway. Their first kiss is everything Padmé dreamed it would be.
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters/Pairings: Padmé/Sabé
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Padmé considers her options after Queen Réillata asks her to become a senator. She wants the job, but she also wants Sabé there by her side.
A/N: For sapphictealeaf for
femslashex. Queen's Shadow explains where Sabé and the other handmaidens end up and why Padmé has different ones after her terms as Queen Amidala end up, but I wanted to play with the idea that she asks Sabé to go with her to Coruscant instead. The title is from a line in Queen's Shadow: "That's as may be," Sabé said. "But my hands are yours for as long as you need them. I was only waiting for you to ask." My Hands Are Yours:
Padmé knows that techinically she's an adult, but for the first time in a long time she feels like a child. It's no longer a feeling she enjoys.
She gives up the mantle, the responsiblities, of being Queen because it's time to pass that burden on. She does so with all the grace and pomp the tradition requires. Her handmaidens are there to support her. The new Queen asks her to become their senator on Coruscant. Padmé know she probably should make that decision before she leaves the palace, on that last night with her handmaidens, her dearest friends. She also knows that if she does instead of enjoying each others company they'll plot and plan. Sabé will take up her idea of helping free slaves from Tatooine and Padmé will have to say goodbye, possibly for good. She's not ready for that. So she sees them off to their new lives. And then she takes her planned vacation.
She expects rest, relaxation, and reflection. Instead she finds herself restless and wanting to get up to date on anything political happening in the galaxy. Some habits of being queen prove easy to shed, others have become ingrained. They're a part of her now.
Her family arranges several dates for her so that she can peruse her options as she prepares to settle down and raise the next generation of polititicans. She tries to take it as the dristraction it could be, but the whole process sours her stomach. She feels too young to be thinking about raising children. Saché is younger than her and happily married to Yané, with the two looking forward to raising children. She's happy for them, but doesn't feel as if she's at a place in her life for that to be her. Maybe one day, but not today. Saché, Padmé reminds herself, is also beginning her journey as a senator.
The offer to become a senator starts to feel like a lifeline to Padmé. It starts to feel like everything she wants. She also needs to plan. She'll need new handmaidens. She realizes quickly she doesn't want to do this, take on this next responsilbity, without Sabé by her side.
It's not difficult to locate her friend, confidante. Padmé misses her and it's a relief to know Sabé is coming to visit. She sets out a lunch for them on her parent's terrance. Sabé holds her close and Padmé allows herself to sink into the embrace. The hug lingers in a way they never would've allowed when they were queen and handmaiden. Padmé hadn't been able to show favor then, not openly, not with the chance that someone who could hurt them might see. They part slowly. They sit, but they don't eat. Sabé reaches for her hand. Padmé entangles their fingers.
"You knew what your answer would be when Queen Réillata asked," Sabe says, putting that truth out between them.
"She gave me time to consider," Padmé points out. It's more to herself than Sabé, though Sabé agrees. "And I wanted the time with my family."
The persona she took on, being Queen Amidala, hadn't left time or circumstances where she could easily spend time with her family. Most of her suitors think she's a former handmaiden. They don't suspect she was actually Amidala. She'll lose that possiblity of anonymity when she becomes senator. It's a sacrafice Padmé is willing to make.
"You deserve it, the time with your family," Sabé points out gently.
"I've felt selfish and bored," Padmé admits. There's guilt in that. Shouldn't she be enjoying this time to reconnect with her family? Instead she feels childish for wanting to reject her parents expectations.
"You're not." Two words and Padmé knows from her tone that there's no arguing with Sabé.
"I've not been," Padmé agrees. "But in some ways I feel I have. I could've made decisions to accept Queen Réillata's offer before leaving the palace. We always planned better in a group."
"A few comms and we'll have plans."
We'll. Always the two of them. They're still holding hands, their fingers intertwined.
"You'd have left," Padmé admits. "Offered to go to Tatooine in my stead."
"It's a good idea. A way for you to not have to give up on that goal, but also take up this new one," Sabé reasons.
"A way to be in two places at once," Padmé challenges.
Sabé hesitates, in a way she wouldn't have a few days prior. A few days ago she hadn't had time to consider who she'd be if she wasn't Padmé's double. Padmé squeezes her hand. Sabé admits, "Perhaps we both needed the time off."
"Do you think a double will still be necessary?" Padmé asks.
Sabé considers this, her thumb brushing lightly over the back of Padmé hand. "There are the assassination attempts."
"If you're acting as my double you won't really see yourself as my equal and I'd prefer if you did," Padmé manages. "I..."
She's not sure how to finish that thought. Sabé's lips quirk and she tilts her head. It's not one of her own mannerisms or one of the carefully currated for the Amidala persona that they've worked on together. This is wholly Sabé. It makes Padmé's breath catch.
"I care about you," Padmé says. "I want to know who we could become when we don't have to share a persona."
"You were always my Queen," Sabé says. "I was there to ensure you lived and that your goals were met even if your enemies sought to elminate you. I'm comfortable with those being my goals again."
It's Padmé's turn to hesitate.
"But you're right. I wouldn't see myself as your equal," Sabé continues.
"If I want you as my equal, a member of my household, an advisor, even a bodyguard if necessary, but not a double, is there a way..." Padmé blows out a breath of frustration. She's not one that's usually at a loss for words.
"I don't know what you're asking," Sabé admits.
"I want this," Padmé tells her squeezing her hand again. "I want our closeness and meals together, but I also want more, but I can't ask that of you if you're my double, if I'm not asking you to always be yourself. I need you as you. I want you as you."
"You don't want someone to see you wanting me and mistake it for you wanting yourself?" Sabé teases.
Padmé laughs.
"I've wanted you to," Sabé admits.
"I don't think I ever learned how to date," Padmé winces. "The few my parents have sent me on in the last few days have been awful."
Sabé leans in. "A few? Already a few?"
Padmé wrinkles her nose in a way she wouldn't have before, not while queen. Sabé laughs.
"It was that bad!" Padmé defends. "And none of them were right because none of them were you."
Sabé eyes go soft in a way that Padmé craves. She uses their handhold to draw Padmé's hand to her and kiss the back of it. Padmé feels her breath catch, every part of her attune to the intensity of Sabé's gaze.
"You'll still need a double," Sabé defends. "But given your argument for why it can't be me I won't object to us finding someone else. As for dating, I was only waiting for you to ask."
Padmé nods, not trusting her voice, somethings she's come to rely on these last few years. Sabé leans in over the table. Padmé meets her halfway. Their first kiss is everything Padmé dreamed it would be.