![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Questions and Answers
Fandom: Star Wars Rogue One
Pairing: Galen/Bodhi
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Galen PoV. Galen is having a bad day, then Bodhi shows up with cards and questions.
A/N: Written for Squishy_TRex for the![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
raremaleslashex.Slight borrows from Catalyst by James Luceno and the Rogue One novelization by Alexander Freed, but nothing one wouldn't find on the wiki. Huge thank you to MapleOwl18 who let me ask so many Star Wars questions. Any mistakes are my own.
Warning: Bodhi starts to have a panic attack towards the end of the fic. He changes his scenery and goes to the place he feels comfortable and then explains to Galen what he's been through.
Questions and Answers:
Galen can’t focus. His mind is stuck on the fact that if Jyn is still alive that today would be her eighteenth birthday. Somehow he makes it through his workday, but his room feels too closed in and all he can think about is how he doesn’t even know if she’s alive. He can’t even try to find her, stuck as he his on Eadu. What good would it do if he tried? If he found her he’d only be condemning her to being found by Orson. He retreats to an out of the way cafeteria, one that’s rarely occupied. He gets a cup of tea and finds a corner seat. The tea grows cold in front of him as he lets the horror and sadness wash over him. His wife is dead. His daughter may be dead or today may be her eighteenth birthday. He’s stuck building a weapon that could destroy worlds.
A card lands in front of him. Galen blinks at it slowly as another card joins the first and then another. He glances up. One of the new pilots is sitting across from him, the pretty one with the ponytail. The pilot finishes passing out the cards, sets the rest in the middle, then glances at the card in his hand. The look he gives Galen is full of mischief as his lips quirk into a smile. “Do you have any sevens?”
Galen stares at him, then the cards on the table. “This is a child’s game.”
“I’m sure gambling with senior officers isn’t an approved activity, so do you have any sevens?” There’s mirth in his tone, a light teasing that makes Galen reaching for the cards in front of him.
He glances up and meets the pilot’s eyes. “I’m Galen.”
“Bodhi. Sevens?”
“Go Fish.”
“You didn’t even look at your cards,” Bodhi grins, nose wrinkling in amusement.
Galen wets his lips. He is wholly unprepared for a handsome man smiling at him like that while trying to distract him from his brooding. He thinks he manages a wane smile as he looks at his cards, then hands over a seven. Their fingers brush. Their eyes meet. This is not brooding. Galen isn’t sure how to get back to brooding with Bodhi’s dark eyes looking at him with interest. He’s definitely shouldn't be wondering what it would be like to pull the hair tie out and run his fingers into Bodhi’s hair. He misses his hair being a bit longer, the way Lyra used to tug at it while they were kissing.
“You can’t be much older than my daughter,” Galen says as a way to chide the way his thoughts are wandering.
Bodhi tilts his head, eyebrows arching. “How old is she?”
“She’d be eighteen, if she’s still alive.” Galen can’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.
“I’m twenty-two,” Bodhi tells him.
Galen stills, does the math and then does the math again before he asks Bodhi what year he was born. Galen can’t help the smile when Bodhi confirms what he suspects.
“What?” Bodhi pushes and there’s that grin again. The merriment that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but still takes over his whole face is making Galen’s mouth go dry.
“You were born the same year I was married.” That fact should make him set his card down and walk away from this tempting man, but it just eases away the last bit of his resolve. He wants and it’s been so long since he wanted anything besides making sure his work could easily be undone.
“Was?” Bodhi asks. Galen stills. There’s no asking about his wife, no shock that he was married. Bodhi just picks up on the most important word in that sentence and asks what happened. Their surroundings should be enough of an answer and maybe they are because Bodhi is looking at him with sympathy, the mirth gone off his face.
“Director Kennic had her killed before bringing me here.”
“I’m sorry.” Bodhi’s words are full of more understanding than someone his age should have to know, but here they are both conscripted to whatever life the Empire decides for them.
“And now I’ve ruined your game,” Galen comments, desperate for a change of subject, but not sure how to steer the conversation. He glances down at his cards. He could take his turn. He could ask for a card.
“How did you and you wife start?” Bodhi asks.
He sets the cards back on the table before his gaze shifts back to Bodhi. He should get up and walk away, except all he wants to do is sit here and linger in this moment. Galen wets his lips. Bodhi’s eyes track the moment and he leans in slightly.
“You always look so sad,” Bodhi tells him.
It’s the concern on Bodhi’s face more than anything that loosens Galen’s tongue, “I’m afraid I’m rather obtuse and she seduced me.”
Bodhi wets his lips and sets the cards in his hand on the table. “Would you like to be seduced?”
He would very much like to be seduced Galen thinks, except he’s an officer and Bodhi’s a pilot and this isn’t generally how things work. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Your eyes linger on me,” Bodhi tells him.
There’s no point in denying the truth.
“The first time I saw you,” Galen confesses. “You were in a serious discussion with the droid that was unloading your cargo and you continued the discussion until your manifest had been cleared. The two of you kept talking until your cargo was being taken to an area you didn’t have access to.”
“Maybe I’m just conscientious about my job,” Bodhi offers.
“Most of the crew ignore the droids or interacted with them only when necessary,” Galen tries to explain. “You were having a full conversation, you were taking the time to listen.”
“Most officers ignore the pilots,” Bodhi challenges.
Galen’s only ignored the pilots for the first two years he was here. Ever since he knew Orson isn’t paying attention to his conversations in the shuttle bay he’s been trying to make friends, but he’s never gotten close enough to someone to ask after what he needs.
“You get to leave, us scientists don’t.”
He expects Bodhi to understand what he’s saying. Part of him is even expecting Bodhi to get up and walk out, maybe even report him for the words he isn’t saying. Instead Bodhi looks away from him briefly. Bodhi swallows slowly, then shakes his head. He turns back to Galen, his gaze lingers up and down as he takes Galen in. Galen suddenly wants to take the suspicious words back. Any more protests to what Bodhi is offering linger in his throat. Galen swallows. Bodhi leans forward again. Galen lets himself lean in.
Bodhi’s gaze settles on Galen’s lips. His words are low, “I fly out tomorrow, midday. Sleeping in my shuttle would be cold. Sleeping in the dorms is uncomfortable. I’d like a bed, just for the night. No, sex with an officer is never recommended, but I’ve been watching you too and if I changed my mind you’d let me. I’m just asking for tonight. Do you have any other questions?”
Their eyes meet and in that moment Galen can see that Bodhi’s holding himself back, that there are questions on his tongue he’s not willing to ask yet.
“Yes, I’d liked to be seduced, but if you change your mind you should let me know. Do you have any other questions?”
Bodhi drops his gaze, stares at where his fingers are still touching the cards he’s laid on the table. His words are barely a whisper, “I’m only ready to ask so many.”
Galen isn’t sure what to do with the hope that flairs in his chest. No, he should know better than to hope, but the lightness of it is still there.
Bodhi reaches over and takes the cards from in front of Galen, then picks up his own. He adds both back to the deck, then slides the whole thing into a pocket.
“One question,” Bodhi concedes a smile playing at his lips again. “Want to lead me to your room?”
Bodhi’s confidence seems to waiver as they head to Galen’s room. Either that or he feels the need to fill any silence with his words. Except under the words that could seem superfluous are information and questions. He lets Galen know that he’s only authorized to be in the shuttle bay, a few cafeterias, and the dorm. He could take one of transports into town, but he never sees the point. Galen’s never been to the town. It’s a small town, one comprised of a few businesses that the local people have put together for the team here. The only way in and out is the regular transports to the research facility. The only way offworld is through the research facility.
“So neither of us has been there,” Galen sumises.
Bodhi agrees. “It’s cheaper to eat the food here.”
“Do they pay you so little?” Galen frowns. He’s never really thought about how much the pilots get paid.
Bodhi hesitates, then tells him. “I send most of my money home.”
Galen thinks that he should ask Bodhi where home is, but they’re stopping at his door and then in his room. Bodhi’s eyes roam around his room a smile lighting up his face again and Galen feels a smile tugging at his lips. He wonders briefly if he should offer Bodhi a drink, but then Bodhi is stepping close. He’s only a little taller than him. Galen wets his lips and cups Bodhi’s face. Bodhi smiles, making a pleased hum before he closes the distance between them. They kiss for several long moments before Bodhi pulls away only long enough to ask where Galen’s bedroom is.
~~~~~*****~~~~~
Galen wakes up alone. It shouldn’t feel lonely, he tells himself. One night doesn’t mean he’s suddenly used to sharing a bed again, and yet the bed feels empty. He sits up and runs a hand down his face. It’s early and he should try to get more sleep, but he’s not sure how Bodhi even left if he doesn’t have access to this area of the facility. Maybe Bodhi couldn’t sleep either? Galen squashes any hope that the Rebellion has come to Eadu, he knows better than to indulge in that fantasy. The only one that might come for him is Saw, and Gerrera isn’t known for his subtlety. Galen pulls some pajamas on and heads into his living area. The porch light is on.
It’s not much of a porch, barely large enough for the small table and two loungers that Kennric had insisted on giving him. Galen is sure that Orson thought the two of them would have conversations on the porch, but after determining there’s no way past the force field that closes in the porch he’s rarely gone out there. It lets fresh air in and Galen knows some of the other scientists use theirs for growing plants. He stands in the doorway, smiling to himself when he sees Bodhi is engrossed in a book.
Bodhi turns towards him with a smile as he closes the book. “You have real books! I haven’t seen that in a long time.”
“Only a few,” Galen smiles back as he takes the empty seat next to Bodhi.
Bodhi turns the book over in his hand, delight still on his face. “It’s not even very old.”
“No, that one's newer,” Galen agrees.
“I didn’t know books could be only a decade or so old,” Bodhi says. “I didn’t know they still printed them.”
“Depends on the place,” Galen smiles.
“It’s different,” Bodhi tells him, opening the book again and glancing over the pages. He sighs and closes the book again, setting it on the table between them. “Why isn’t there a way off your porch?”
“So I don’t attempt it as a means of escape?”
Bodhi raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. “Where would you go? There’s nothing nearby and it’s always raining.”
“Not always.”
“I’m not even sure the thunderstorms let up,” Bodhi contradicts.
“Rarely,” Galen concedes.
Bodhi sighs as he rest back in his chair and stares outside. “If the lightening would stop for a moment I think I’d just go out and stand in it to see what it’s like.”
“The rain?” Galen asks.
Bodhi nods. “It smells so different than home.”
“Where’s home?”
“Jedha. Where’s home for you?”
Galen feels himself still. The last time he’s heard anything about Saw he’d been on Jedha. He wets his lips as he wonders about coincidences while knowing Lyra would attribute this to anything but coincidence. He sighs. He has a question to answer and he’s not sure how. “It’s been a long time since I had one.”
“I’m sorry.”
Galen shrugs.
“Where’s your daughter from?”
“She was born on Vallt. We spent some time on Coruscant. I think I like Lah’mu best,” Galen tells him. There’s no point in keeping secrets. He’s not sure he’ll ever leave Eadu. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be kept alive once the Death Star is finished.
Bodhi sits up and regards him quietly and Galen wonders what was in his tone to make Bodhi look at him with such concern.
“Does it rain like this on Lah’mu?” Bodhi asks.
“No,” Galen says shaking his head.
“Does it smell different?” Bodhi continues as he stands and closes the distance between them, settling around Galen.
Galen sighs at the feel of Bodhi’s head on his shoulder and his arm around him. It’s been far too long since he just let someone touch him like this. He’s not sure he wants this to stop.
“It was,” Galen leans back, accepting the comfort of Bodhi wrapped around him as he gives into the urge to run his fingers through Bodhi’s hair. “We farmed and it did smell different. It wasn’t as wet, but it wasn’t dry either. I remember liking farming. The feel of the dirt under my fingers was calming somehow. Eating things we’d grown tasted better, fresher I guess...”
Maybe he should get plants for his porch, but the thought always feels too much like giving up and settling in.
“I miss fishing sometimes,” Galen continues. “Have you ever been?”
“Fishing?” Bodhi laughs. “I’ve seen fish. I’ve been to an aquarium. I think I was always so overwhelmed by all the water that I didn’t really pay as much attention to what was in the water. Now I’m here and there’s more water than anyone could want falling from the sky, all the time.”
Galen can’t help the laugh that bubbles out. Bodhi grins at him and then they’re both laughing and Galen wants to hold onto this moment. How long has it been since he just laughed with someone?
He cups Bodhi’s face, wanting to thank him. Instead he finds himself offering, “Did you want to borrow the book?”
He’s not ready to let go of this or the hope it brings him and maybe if he gives Bodhi a reason to come back he will.
Bodhi stills, then shakes his head. “Not worth the trouble I’d be in if I was caught with it. There are some things I’m willing to risk getting caught with: a book isn’t one of them.”
Bodhi sits up to frown at him. He wets his lips and for a moment Galen thinks he’s going to ask another question, but he shuts his eyes instead. Galen reaches up and touches his cheek. “Was what you read interesting?”
“Yes.”
“Get it on your datapad and then discuss it with me later?” If Bodhi finds philosophy interesting there are plenty of books that Galen can recommend and maybe, just maybe, Bodhi will be the person he needs.
Bodhi blinks at him a moment, then shakes his head. “My datapad is locked down. I only have access to propaganda and an approved reading list. That book isn’t going to be on it.”
Galen rubs his thumb over Bodhi’s cheek. “Could I give you one of mine? They’re not locked down.”
“You have more than one datapad?”
“I know,” Galen agrees.
Bodhi huffs out a laugh before leaning in to kiss Galen. He smiles into the kiss pulling Bodhi close. He’s not ready for this to end and it seems Bodhi feels the same way. They take their time exploring each others bodies and their goodbye kiss in the morning lingers. He does give Bodhi one of his spare datapads, taking care to make sure that the book Bodhi had been looking over is downloaded onto it.
That’s how they start. Bodhi asks for more book recommendations and they discuss the ones Bodhi’s read. Galen finds himself reading philosophy books he hasn’t in years, while trying to keep up with the fascinating number of books Bodhi can get through on star-ships. Even more rarely they read fiction.
“Did you know there’s a language function on this?” Bodhi tells him one evening after dinner as he’s sitting on Galen’s couch, going through the datapad with a look of delight on his face.
Galen sits behind him and wraps an arm around him, kissing Bodhi’s neck as he asks, “What languages are on there?”
Bodhi holds up the datapad so Galen can look over the list of languages the program Bodhi’s found is offering. He stills as he sees the program Bodhi’s been running. “You’re learning Shyrriiwook?”
“When I can understand a Wookie I’ll remember that skepticism in your voice and it’ll make me smile,” Bodhi teases.
Galen laughs, smiling against Bodhi’s back as he tightens his hold. Bodhi shifts so they can kiss and Galen finds himself hoping the two of them can share many more nights like this before he needs to tell Bodhi what the two of them are helping to build.
Then the next time he’s expecting to see Bodhi that evening the thunder stops. Galen goes to look out the lab at the rain still falling in dark sheets. There’s no lightening. He makes swift apologies and shuts down his station. There are only a few exits that would let one go stand out in the rain. He finds Bodhi standing outside, face turned up towards the rain with a smile, at the second exit he checks. He watches silently for a moment, enjoying the delight on Bodhi’s face. He approaches slowly. “It’s still cold.”
“If you were worried you’d have brought a poncho,” Bodhi retorts.
Galen shakes his head. “Is this everything you hoped for?”
Bodhi looks at him then and Galen isn’t sure what to do with the haunted look in Bodhi’s eyes or the worry on his face.
“Did something happen?” Galen asks.
“I went home.”
“That bad?”
Bodhi looks towards the building and then at Galen. His shoulders fall.
“Bodhi, did something happen?” Galen pushes. He wants to take Bodhi inside and dry him off and hold him close. He wishes he had the ability to get Bodhi away from whatever is putting that look on his face.
“All the books...the things we...you want me to ask.”
Is the time now? Would Bodhi help him? Galen doesn’t even have a firm plan. “Yes.”
“If I asked what they’re building here you’d tell me?” Bodhi’s words come out slow and halting. They’re tinged with bitterness. He’s not even looking at Galen, just over his shoulder. There's strain on Bodhi's face and worry in his eyes.
“I would.”
“I don’t have the clearance,” Bodhi reminds.
“I’d still tell you.”
Bodhi takes a deep shuddering breath and Galen reminds himself he doesn’t believe Bodhi will turn him in.
“That book about kyber crystals, it hurt to read. I’m from Jedha, do you even understand that? Everything I was raised to believe has been ransacked and made illegal. The Guardians of the Whills, they guard nothing. I’ve helped make it so they guard nothing! And I should ask, I’ve been wanting to ask since that first night, but I just went home and my mother looks better than she has in years. The medicine I can finally afford, the food...my family isn’t starving anymore. My sister and her children are healthy. She’s got them into a good school, they can afford to go to school. If I ask, I can handle going hungry myself, but how am I supposed to put all their lives in danger? They’ll be questioned, maybe even blamed if I, if I…”
Galen steps close and cups Bodhi’s cheeks, wiping at the rain water mixed with tears. Bodhi relaxes at the touch and stills.
“It’s not operational,” Galen manages to offer. “I don’t need you to ask me just yet. Okay?”
Bodhi nods, clinging to his hands. Galen wraps his arms around Bodhi. Bodhi shudders and leans against him. Galen kisses the side of his head. He’s not ready to give this up. He’s not ready for Bodhi to ask either.
So they don’t talk about what’s being built from their efforts, they just keep the relationship as it’s been. Books and conversations and sex, Galen tells himself he’s satisfied with this. He tries not to think of what will happen if Orson discovers the relationship. He knows he needs a plan for the day when Bodhi does ask.
Two and a half years pass and Galen not sure he’ll be able to let Bodhi go when the time comes. He’s not sure Bodhi will ever be ready to ask and Galen thinks he should be sorry about that, but the thought of putting Bodhi in danger, of losing another person he cares for, makes every part of him ache.
Bodhi’s shipment is a day late and when Galen looks into it he sees that Bodhi is being given a day to attend his mother’s funeral.
“Just a day?” Galen asks the cargo bay supervisor. “I thought Jedhan funerals were three days?”
She shrugs. “Standard is a day and not everyone even gets that.”
Any more questions and he’ll start to look suspicious. Galen tries to force himself to go back to work, but worry runs through him. After Bodhi arrives he forces himself to stay in his office until he can see that the cargo is off the ship. For a moment he wonders if he should wait in his office for Bodhi or check the cafeteria they often meet in, but waiting and worrying aren't one of his strong suits. He decides to head down to the cargo bay instead. He finds Bodhi huddling on his bunk in his shuttle.
“You didn’t have to come,” Bodhi whispers. “But I’m glad you did.”
Galen perches on the bed long enough to squeeze Bodhi’s shoulder and take off his shoes. He cuddles close on the narrow bed and wraps his arms tightly around Bodhi.
Bodhi’s quiet, his shoulders shaking occasionally.
“I’m sorry,” Galen offers.
“She already asked other people to mourn her,” Bodhi tells him. “She already had the whole thing planned out for both my sister and me not to be there.”
“Your sister isn’t there?”
“She left. Everyone has a different story about when and how, they know I can’t know the details,” Bodhi tells him.
“It’d put her in danger,” Galen agrees.
They lapse into silence and Galen waits until Bodhi relaxes against him to urge him up and to Galen’s room. He gets them some dinner and brushes Bodhi’s hair, then gets Bodhi to go to sleep. Over breakfast Bodhi stares at his plate and manages, “Do you want me to ask?”
Neither of them are ready.
“Not yet,” Galen tells him. Bodhi nods.
Except months later the station is operational and Galen knows that he can’t afford to wait any longer, that they may have waited too long. He gets Bodhi to agree to meet him in the town. They don’t go there often, but at least it’s away from prying ears, and at least this time Galen thinks he may have a plan.
He’s not sure how to broach the subject until the two of them are alone and Bodhi pulls him close and says, “You need me to ask, don’t you?”
“It’s operational. I’m sorry.”
Bodhi nods. Galen wishes this didn’t hurt so much.
Their eyes meet. Bodhi takes Galen’s hands and squeezes them as he asks, “Galen, what are we building here?”
~~~~~*****~~~~~
Galen opens his eyes feeling disoriented and sore. The last thing he remembers is thinking he’s dying while Jyn holds him. A hand squeezes his and Galen shifts his head slowly. His daughter is smiling at him. He tries to say her name, to smile back.
“Slow Papa,” she tells him. “A nurse or doctor will be over in a moment.”
“Where?”
“A ship for now,” she tells him. There’s a man with her. He’s not Bodhi. There’s beeping suddenly and Jyn is telling him to relax.
The man stands. “What are you worried about Dr. Erso?”
“It’s destroyed,” Jyn tells him.
At the same time the man reassures, “Bodhi’s fine.”
Galen stares. “Both those things, both of them?”
“Yes,” Jyn tells him.
“And you're safe?” he asks.
“I am,” she reassures. “As safe as anyone can be in the middle of a war.”
He squeezes her hand. “Your friend?”
Jyn shifts so Cassian can introduce himself.
“Wait till you meet the droid he’s friends with,” Jyn tells him with a smile that reminds him of Lyra.
Galen reaches out to touch her face. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Jyn squeezes his hand. “I’m here.”
“Bodhi?” he finally lets himself ask.
Jyn and Cassian exchange a look that Galen can’t interrupt. He sinks back against the bed. Is Bodhi hurt? Where is he? Didn’t Cassian say he was fine?
“Maybe linearly?” Cassian suggests.
“Saw tortured him,” Jyn tells him bluntly. “Bodhi won’t really talk about it, but he’s mostly okay. He gets a little lost sometimes. Threw the whole med staff into a frenzy when they finally examined him, but they’re letting him fly so he must be okay.”
Galen isn’t sure how to process that. “Can I see him?”
What if Bodhi doesn’t want to see him? Galen suddenly wishes he’d could’ve sent Bodhi with a plan that wasn’t find Saw Gerrera.
“That’s what I meant by the linear part,” Cassian says fondly as he looks at Jyn. “I was thinking start with the destruction of the Death Star, then get into where Bodhi is.”
“He’s not here,” Galen realizes.
They agree that he isn’t.
“Not that he didn’t want to be here, but we didn’t know when you’d wake up or if you’d wake up,” Jyn tells him frowning.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” Galen says squeezing her hand again.
She nods. “Thanks for not dying.”
They still, both taking the other in for a moment. It’s been so long since he’s seen her. It’s been years since he really dared to hope she was alive.
“So linear,” Galen prompts.
Jyn sits back down, keeping a hold of his hand. “Somehow the Princess of Alderaan found herself a Jedi in training and sent him up there to implement your plan. The Death Star got destroyed, but somehow in rescuing Princess Leia the Jedi’s mentor got himself killed.”
Galen stares.
“Yes, there are Jedi now,” Cassian agrees. “Or a Jedi in training and he and the Guardians we found on Jedha decided he needed more training.”
“There are Guardians?” Galen sighs. “When I heard the weapon had been used on Jedha I thought the worst.”
“Just the two,” Jyn tells him. “Chirrut and Baze. We don’t know if anyone but us made it off of Jedha.”
Galen nods and swallows. He wants to ask if the Death Star destroyed any other cities, but he’s not sure if he can handle the guilt or the vast numbers of people that must have died.
“So after the Death Star was destroyed there was a medal ceremony. You get a medal by the way, but after the ceremony Chirrut got into an argument with Luke’s, that’s the Jedi in training, mentor who died, because apparently they could somehow still communicate. I don’t know, I didn’t see him.”
“I couldn’t see him either,” Cassian agreed.
“Luke could see him and so could Bodhi,” Jyn informs him.
“I think Leia could see him too,” Cassian puts in.
“Could she?” Jyn asks.
“She kept glaring at the spot that Chirrut was talking too and then shaking her head or agreeing with Chirrut so it seemed like she was a part of the conversation,” Cassian tells them.
Galen feels a bit lost.
Jyn shrugs. “Anyway Luke look mortified, it was adorable, and Bodhi couldn’t stop laughing. He had to sit down and nearly keeled over from laughing so much. If there was a guy named Kenobi there Chirrut told him about himself and scolded him and then insisted that he tell them where another Jedi was so Luke could finish his training. Then he and Baze decided they had to go with so that Luke could skip all the bureaucratic nonsense-I think that’s how Chirrut put it?”
“Baze swore. Chirrut was more diplomatic, but only after he’d told Kenobi about himself,” Cassian agrees.
“They decided because Bodhi is from Jedha that he could take them, drop them off, and then either drop off supplies or pick them up in a month or so,” Jyn finishes.
“I’m relatively sure Jedi training took years not a month,” Galen says slowly.
Cassian shrugs. “If anyone can find still surviving Jedi to shove Luke at it’s going to be Chirrut.”
“How many surviving Jedi are there?” Galen asks skeptically.
“Right now one,” Jyn tells him, “But maybe he’ll know of someone else and then Chirrut will probably go rouse them up too.”
“This Chirrut isn’t a Jedi?” Galen frowns.
“He says he isn’t,” Cassian answers. “Or he says they had too many rules.”
“He and Baze were both Guardians,” Jyn adds.
Galen nods still feeling overwhelmed, but at least relieved that Bodhi is alive and the Death Star is destroyed.
“Have you reached a stopping point?” a woman Galen doesn’t recognize asks, before she’s stepping in and checking him over.
Recovery feels slow. He nearly died a few times, but they get him up and moving as soon as they can. He and Jyn are getting to know each other. She has a sharp sarcastic sense of humor, though seems guarded at times. He eventually finds out the whole story of what happened after he sent Bodhi off with his message and he doesn’t know how to process it.
Jedha. Scarif. Alderaan. The sheer number of people dead overwhelms him. The names of the people who died bringing down the Death Star haunt him.
And then there’s the relief that Orson is dead.
He can only move forward Galen decides. He needs to help the Rebellion in any way he can. This mostly seems to be answering questions.
They room him with Bodhi, who still isn’t back. Jyn informs him of this with a look of mischievous delight.
“You seem to be enjoying this.”
She nods. “You think I’m not going to poke and prod you to make an honest man out of my new best friend?”
“So you can tease Bodhi?” Galen guesses.
“Yes. I never thought I’d want a step-dad, but now there’s no escaping the thought that I need one.”
“Is that so?” Galen smiles.
“It’s either that or threaten each of you not to hurt the other and that way seems less fun for all of us,” Jyn smirks.
“Somehow I think you’d enlist Cassian’s help.”
“And Kaytoo.”
“I still haven’t met your droid friend,” Galen points out.
“He said he’s waiting to make an impression after Bodhi returns,” Jyn informs him.
“I’m going to get intimidated by a former Imperial droid,” Galen realizes out loud.
“Mostly I think he’s just going to loom,” Jyn tries to reassure.
He gives her a look that makes it clear that this isn’t reassuring. She grins in response and Galen feels himself relax. He squeezes her shoulder in thanks that she’s still alive and in front of him. She’s not comfortable with hugs or feeling confined, but she’s comfortable with him touching her shoulder. She knows she’s welcome to hug him if she wants to.
Days later Galen is sitting down on the bed, wanting a break after physical therapy, when Bodhi walks in. Bodhi stills at the sight of him. “You’re here. You’re awake.”
Galen pushes himself up so he can meet Bodhi. Bodhi lets his door slide shut and steps forwards. His eyes roam over Galen. He reaches out and touches Galen’s arm, then his shoulder, then the front of his shirt.
“I’m here. I’m sorry I worried you.”
Bodhi’s fingers flex against his shirt collar and then he surging forward for a kiss and Galen reaches up to cup his cheeks. Bodhi stumbles back his whole body going tense as his arms go limp and he wheezes in a sharp breath. Galen drops his hand. Bodhi turns away from him, arms hugging himself and shoulders hunched.
“I’m sorry,” Bodhi shudders. “I just...my face...I…”
“I shouldn’t touch you there,” Galen surmises. He wants to move closer. He wants to reassure Bodhi, but he doesn’t want to startle him either.
“I’m okay,” Bodhi tries before he turns in a circle and surveys their room with a lost look. He frowns.
“You’re not,” Galen contradicts. “I’m sorry.”
“Better me than someone else,” Bodhi whispers.
Galen shakes his head.
Bodhi frowns at the blank walls. “Ship. I’m still using the cargo hauler we got on Eadu. I’m more comfortable there. I might be able to tell you there.”
“Whatever your comfortable with,” Galen ressures.
Bodhi nods, then heads out in the hallway. Galen attempts to keep up. Bodhi slows down for him. Galen grimaces.
“We’re both a mess,” Bodhi comments.
“Yes,” Galen agrees. “We’ll heal.”
Galen stops when the ship opens up and he can see all the ships that are parked inside of it. Just how big a ship is this? There are people and droids working on multiple different projects. It’s loud and chaotic. Bodhi’s shoulders visibly relax.
Bodhi points out where his ship in. As they start over a Wookie pulls Bodhi into a sideways hug and the two start talking about a repair they made to the Wookie’s ship. At least that’s what Galen thinks the conversation is about, he’s not entirely sure since he can only understand Bodhi's words. He just stands there with a smile on his face as he watches Bodhi work through several ideas with his friend about a problem he’s having with his ship. Abruptly they turn to him and Bodhi is introducing him to Chewbacca. After getting Bodhi to agree to help out after dinner, Chewbacca gives Bodhi one last hug, pats Galen on the back and then heads off. Galen watches him go. Bodhi grins at him, pressing his lips together.
“You’ve made friends,” Galen comments.
“Yes,” Bodhi agrees.
“Is he going to try and intimidate me later?”
Bodhi shakes his head, then frowns slightly.
“I’d really like to kiss you right now,” Galen admits.
Bodhi bites his bottom lip briefly, then looks away. “Ship first.”
More than one person greets Bodhi as they make their way over. Bodhi excitedly points out several different kinds of ships. They finally make their way into the shuttle. Galen eases himself down on the first seat he can find. Bodhi sits next to him, Galen watches as Bodhi opens his mouth, closes it, then frowns as he looks to the side.
“Bodhi,” Galen sighs as he reaches towards Bodhi slowly. He lets his thumb touch Bodhi’s chin, then run over his mouth. Bodhi sighs and takes off his goggles and sets them on the seat next to them. He takes Galen’s hand and slowly guides it to different spots on his head so Galen can feel the scars there. Galen’s feels himself go cold. He wants to ask, but isn’t sure if Bodhi’s ready to tell him more than this, that something attached itself to his head hard enough to leave scars.
“Saw thought I was lying,” Bodhi tells him, voice soft. “He-he had a, he called it Bor Gullet and it attached...it pulled all my memories and thoughts and feelings out of my head to see if I was lying and then shoved everything back in. I might not have gotten everything back. Nothing really linear until I was talking to Cassian on Jedha. Everything before that is a jumbled mess. I managed to hang onto knowing you, how I felt about you, and that the message was important, but everything else is just...the medics aren’t sure how I’m not a scrambled mess, but I’m mostly know what I’m doing, usually.”
“Jyn mentioned you get lost sometimes.”
“Sometimes, not often. The worse was on Yavin 4. It was raining and I panicked thinking I was still on Eadu. Chewbacca threw a blanket around me and said I was a pilot before putting me in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon and asking me how I’d fly it. That tends to work, calms me down to be in a ship or thinking about flying a ship.”
“Is the Millennium Falcon his ship?” Galen asks.
Bodhi shakes his head.
“It my ship,” a voice says from the bottom of the ramp.
“Han,” Bodhi complains. “I’m getting there.”
“Hey, I just came over here to welcome you back and because Chewie asked me to. He didn’t think your much older boyfriend…” Han starts as he walks onto the ship.
“You’re going to lecture me on age differences?” Bodhi interrupts dryly.
Galen squeezes Bodhi’s hand, feeling lighter at the shift from upset and hesitant to defending himself in Bodhi. Clearly the distraction his friend is providing is helping.
“Not me,” Han says clapping a hand on his chest as he attempts to look innocent and offended at the same time. “I’m just over here to say welcome back and because Chewie wanted me to remind your boyfriend that when Wookie’s get upset they tend to rip people’s arms off.”
“Chewbacca wanted you to say all that?” Bodhi attempts to clarify, his voice thick with skepticism.
“Yes, of course.”
“I just got back,” Bodhi reminds. “This is the first conversation Galen and I are having.”
Galen smiles. “I doubt he’ll be the last of your friends to try and intimidate me.”
“Not me,” Han protests. “This was for Chewie. Threats don’t work as well if the person can’t understand them, besides I’m not the Corellian you need to look out for. You want to worry about the short one that’s usually running around in orange.”
Bodhi groans and buries his face against Galen’s shoulder. “Wedge is not going to do anything.”
“Right, keep telling yourself that. You’ve gotten yourself a long line of people that think they have to look out for you,” Han contradicts.
“Luke is fine Han,” Bodhi reassures. “He’s got his X-wing if he needs to come back early. I just need to be able to get Chirrut and Baze. I’ll run them more supplies in a month if they’re not back.”
Han blinks. “Did they find this Yoda?”
“Yoda?” Galen asks. He at least knows who that is. “He’s really still alive?”
“I’m not supposed to say anything about who they might have been going to see or where they went and yes I deleted the log Han,” Bodhi informs them.
Han throws up his hands in what Galen assumes is another gesture of faux innocence, before he turns and grins, “Hey Kaytoo, do you need to come up here and do some intimidation?”
“Statistically speaking that tactic has a tendency to drive two people together and not apart,” K-2SO chides as he enters the ship. Even knowing beforehand that K-2SO is a former Imperial droid isn’t enough for Galen to realize how that would make the breath catch in his throat. “It would be more effective to…”
“Kaytoo,” Bodhi complains. “I just got back.”
K-2SO regards them briefly before telling Han, “As you have no desire to see Bodhi upset I suggest we both leave the ship and let them get reacquainted with each other.”
Han protests, but follows K-2SO off the ship. Bodhi gets up and closes the ramp. Han loudly protests. Bodhi shakes his head.
Bodhi turns to smiles at him. Galen smiles back.
“I think you said something about kissing me,” Bodhi reminds.
“Yes, please,” Galen says, relief washing over him. It’s been entirely too long since he’s gotten to kiss Bodhi.
Bodhi closes the distance between them, straddling Galen’s hips and then leaning in. Galen rests one hand on Bodhi’s leg as they kiss, letting the other slide up Bodhi’s chest. He rubs a thumb over Bodhi’s collar bone. Bodhi’s fingers are teasing at the base of Galen’s hair, but he pauses and reaches back to pull his hair tie out. He takes Galen’s hand and presses it to his head. Galen slides his hand into Bodhi’s hair with a hum of happiness as Bodhi deepens the kiss.
Galen isn’t quite sure how he’s going to fit into this new life yet, but he’s sure if he asks Bodhi will have answers.
Fandom: Star Wars Rogue One
Pairing: Galen/Bodhi
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Galen PoV. Galen is having a bad day, then Bodhi shows up with cards and questions.
A/N: Written for Squishy_TRex for the
raremaleslashex.Slight borrows from Catalyst by James Luceno and the Rogue One novelization by Alexander Freed, but nothing one wouldn't find on the wiki. Huge thank you to MapleOwl18 who let me ask so many Star Wars questions. Any mistakes are my own. Warning: Bodhi starts to have a panic attack towards the end of the fic. He changes his scenery and goes to the place he feels comfortable and then explains to Galen what he's been through.
Questions and Answers:
Galen can’t focus. His mind is stuck on the fact that if Jyn is still alive that today would be her eighteenth birthday. Somehow he makes it through his workday, but his room feels too closed in and all he can think about is how he doesn’t even know if she’s alive. He can’t even try to find her, stuck as he his on Eadu. What good would it do if he tried? If he found her he’d only be condemning her to being found by Orson. He retreats to an out of the way cafeteria, one that’s rarely occupied. He gets a cup of tea and finds a corner seat. The tea grows cold in front of him as he lets the horror and sadness wash over him. His wife is dead. His daughter may be dead or today may be her eighteenth birthday. He’s stuck building a weapon that could destroy worlds.
A card lands in front of him. Galen blinks at it slowly as another card joins the first and then another. He glances up. One of the new pilots is sitting across from him, the pretty one with the ponytail. The pilot finishes passing out the cards, sets the rest in the middle, then glances at the card in his hand. The look he gives Galen is full of mischief as his lips quirk into a smile. “Do you have any sevens?”
Galen stares at him, then the cards on the table. “This is a child’s game.”
“I’m sure gambling with senior officers isn’t an approved activity, so do you have any sevens?” There’s mirth in his tone, a light teasing that makes Galen reaching for the cards in front of him.
He glances up and meets the pilot’s eyes. “I’m Galen.”
“Bodhi. Sevens?”
“Go Fish.”
“You didn’t even look at your cards,” Bodhi grins, nose wrinkling in amusement.
Galen wets his lips. He is wholly unprepared for a handsome man smiling at him like that while trying to distract him from his brooding. He thinks he manages a wane smile as he looks at his cards, then hands over a seven. Their fingers brush. Their eyes meet. This is not brooding. Galen isn’t sure how to get back to brooding with Bodhi’s dark eyes looking at him with interest. He’s definitely shouldn't be wondering what it would be like to pull the hair tie out and run his fingers into Bodhi’s hair. He misses his hair being a bit longer, the way Lyra used to tug at it while they were kissing.
“You can’t be much older than my daughter,” Galen says as a way to chide the way his thoughts are wandering.
Bodhi tilts his head, eyebrows arching. “How old is she?”
“She’d be eighteen, if she’s still alive.” Galen can’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.
“I’m twenty-two,” Bodhi tells him.
Galen stills, does the math and then does the math again before he asks Bodhi what year he was born. Galen can’t help the smile when Bodhi confirms what he suspects.
“What?” Bodhi pushes and there’s that grin again. The merriment that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but still takes over his whole face is making Galen’s mouth go dry.
“You were born the same year I was married.” That fact should make him set his card down and walk away from this tempting man, but it just eases away the last bit of his resolve. He wants and it’s been so long since he wanted anything besides making sure his work could easily be undone.
“Was?” Bodhi asks. Galen stills. There’s no asking about his wife, no shock that he was married. Bodhi just picks up on the most important word in that sentence and asks what happened. Their surroundings should be enough of an answer and maybe they are because Bodhi is looking at him with sympathy, the mirth gone off his face.
“Director Kennic had her killed before bringing me here.”
“I’m sorry.” Bodhi’s words are full of more understanding than someone his age should have to know, but here they are both conscripted to whatever life the Empire decides for them.
“And now I’ve ruined your game,” Galen comments, desperate for a change of subject, but not sure how to steer the conversation. He glances down at his cards. He could take his turn. He could ask for a card.
“How did you and you wife start?” Bodhi asks.
He sets the cards back on the table before his gaze shifts back to Bodhi. He should get up and walk away, except all he wants to do is sit here and linger in this moment. Galen wets his lips. Bodhi’s eyes track the moment and he leans in slightly.
“You always look so sad,” Bodhi tells him.
It’s the concern on Bodhi’s face more than anything that loosens Galen’s tongue, “I’m afraid I’m rather obtuse and she seduced me.”
Bodhi wets his lips and sets the cards in his hand on the table. “Would you like to be seduced?”
He would very much like to be seduced Galen thinks, except he’s an officer and Bodhi’s a pilot and this isn’t generally how things work. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Your eyes linger on me,” Bodhi tells him.
There’s no point in denying the truth.
“The first time I saw you,” Galen confesses. “You were in a serious discussion with the droid that was unloading your cargo and you continued the discussion until your manifest had been cleared. The two of you kept talking until your cargo was being taken to an area you didn’t have access to.”
“Maybe I’m just conscientious about my job,” Bodhi offers.
“Most of the crew ignore the droids or interacted with them only when necessary,” Galen tries to explain. “You were having a full conversation, you were taking the time to listen.”
“Most officers ignore the pilots,” Bodhi challenges.
Galen’s only ignored the pilots for the first two years he was here. Ever since he knew Orson isn’t paying attention to his conversations in the shuttle bay he’s been trying to make friends, but he’s never gotten close enough to someone to ask after what he needs.
“You get to leave, us scientists don’t.”
He expects Bodhi to understand what he’s saying. Part of him is even expecting Bodhi to get up and walk out, maybe even report him for the words he isn’t saying. Instead Bodhi looks away from him briefly. Bodhi swallows slowly, then shakes his head. He turns back to Galen, his gaze lingers up and down as he takes Galen in. Galen suddenly wants to take the suspicious words back. Any more protests to what Bodhi is offering linger in his throat. Galen swallows. Bodhi leans forward again. Galen lets himself lean in.
Bodhi’s gaze settles on Galen’s lips. His words are low, “I fly out tomorrow, midday. Sleeping in my shuttle would be cold. Sleeping in the dorms is uncomfortable. I’d like a bed, just for the night. No, sex with an officer is never recommended, but I’ve been watching you too and if I changed my mind you’d let me. I’m just asking for tonight. Do you have any other questions?”
Their eyes meet and in that moment Galen can see that Bodhi’s holding himself back, that there are questions on his tongue he’s not willing to ask yet.
“Yes, I’d liked to be seduced, but if you change your mind you should let me know. Do you have any other questions?”
Bodhi drops his gaze, stares at where his fingers are still touching the cards he’s laid on the table. His words are barely a whisper, “I’m only ready to ask so many.”
Galen isn’t sure what to do with the hope that flairs in his chest. No, he should know better than to hope, but the lightness of it is still there.
Bodhi reaches over and takes the cards from in front of Galen, then picks up his own. He adds both back to the deck, then slides the whole thing into a pocket.
“One question,” Bodhi concedes a smile playing at his lips again. “Want to lead me to your room?”
Bodhi’s confidence seems to waiver as they head to Galen’s room. Either that or he feels the need to fill any silence with his words. Except under the words that could seem superfluous are information and questions. He lets Galen know that he’s only authorized to be in the shuttle bay, a few cafeterias, and the dorm. He could take one of transports into town, but he never sees the point. Galen’s never been to the town. It’s a small town, one comprised of a few businesses that the local people have put together for the team here. The only way in and out is the regular transports to the research facility. The only way offworld is through the research facility.
“So neither of us has been there,” Galen sumises.
Bodhi agrees. “It’s cheaper to eat the food here.”
“Do they pay you so little?” Galen frowns. He’s never really thought about how much the pilots get paid.
Bodhi hesitates, then tells him. “I send most of my money home.”
Galen thinks that he should ask Bodhi where home is, but they’re stopping at his door and then in his room. Bodhi’s eyes roam around his room a smile lighting up his face again and Galen feels a smile tugging at his lips. He wonders briefly if he should offer Bodhi a drink, but then Bodhi is stepping close. He’s only a little taller than him. Galen wets his lips and cups Bodhi’s face. Bodhi smiles, making a pleased hum before he closes the distance between them. They kiss for several long moments before Bodhi pulls away only long enough to ask where Galen’s bedroom is.
~~~~~*****~~~~~
Galen wakes up alone. It shouldn’t feel lonely, he tells himself. One night doesn’t mean he’s suddenly used to sharing a bed again, and yet the bed feels empty. He sits up and runs a hand down his face. It’s early and he should try to get more sleep, but he’s not sure how Bodhi even left if he doesn’t have access to this area of the facility. Maybe Bodhi couldn’t sleep either? Galen squashes any hope that the Rebellion has come to Eadu, he knows better than to indulge in that fantasy. The only one that might come for him is Saw, and Gerrera isn’t known for his subtlety. Galen pulls some pajamas on and heads into his living area. The porch light is on.
It’s not much of a porch, barely large enough for the small table and two loungers that Kennric had insisted on giving him. Galen is sure that Orson thought the two of them would have conversations on the porch, but after determining there’s no way past the force field that closes in the porch he’s rarely gone out there. It lets fresh air in and Galen knows some of the other scientists use theirs for growing plants. He stands in the doorway, smiling to himself when he sees Bodhi is engrossed in a book.
Bodhi turns towards him with a smile as he closes the book. “You have real books! I haven’t seen that in a long time.”
“Only a few,” Galen smiles back as he takes the empty seat next to Bodhi.
Bodhi turns the book over in his hand, delight still on his face. “It’s not even very old.”
“No, that one's newer,” Galen agrees.
“I didn’t know books could be only a decade or so old,” Bodhi says. “I didn’t know they still printed them.”
“Depends on the place,” Galen smiles.
“It’s different,” Bodhi tells him, opening the book again and glancing over the pages. He sighs and closes the book again, setting it on the table between them. “Why isn’t there a way off your porch?”
“So I don’t attempt it as a means of escape?”
Bodhi raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. “Where would you go? There’s nothing nearby and it’s always raining.”
“Not always.”
“I’m not even sure the thunderstorms let up,” Bodhi contradicts.
“Rarely,” Galen concedes.
Bodhi sighs as he rest back in his chair and stares outside. “If the lightening would stop for a moment I think I’d just go out and stand in it to see what it’s like.”
“The rain?” Galen asks.
Bodhi nods. “It smells so different than home.”
“Where’s home?”
“Jedha. Where’s home for you?”
Galen feels himself still. The last time he’s heard anything about Saw he’d been on Jedha. He wets his lips as he wonders about coincidences while knowing Lyra would attribute this to anything but coincidence. He sighs. He has a question to answer and he’s not sure how. “It’s been a long time since I had one.”
“I’m sorry.”
Galen shrugs.
“Where’s your daughter from?”
“She was born on Vallt. We spent some time on Coruscant. I think I like Lah’mu best,” Galen tells him. There’s no point in keeping secrets. He’s not sure he’ll ever leave Eadu. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be kept alive once the Death Star is finished.
Bodhi sits up and regards him quietly and Galen wonders what was in his tone to make Bodhi look at him with such concern.
“Does it rain like this on Lah’mu?” Bodhi asks.
“No,” Galen says shaking his head.
“Does it smell different?” Bodhi continues as he stands and closes the distance between them, settling around Galen.
Galen sighs at the feel of Bodhi’s head on his shoulder and his arm around him. It’s been far too long since he just let someone touch him like this. He’s not sure he wants this to stop.
“It was,” Galen leans back, accepting the comfort of Bodhi wrapped around him as he gives into the urge to run his fingers through Bodhi’s hair. “We farmed and it did smell different. It wasn’t as wet, but it wasn’t dry either. I remember liking farming. The feel of the dirt under my fingers was calming somehow. Eating things we’d grown tasted better, fresher I guess...”
Maybe he should get plants for his porch, but the thought always feels too much like giving up and settling in.
“I miss fishing sometimes,” Galen continues. “Have you ever been?”
“Fishing?” Bodhi laughs. “I’ve seen fish. I’ve been to an aquarium. I think I was always so overwhelmed by all the water that I didn’t really pay as much attention to what was in the water. Now I’m here and there’s more water than anyone could want falling from the sky, all the time.”
Galen can’t help the laugh that bubbles out. Bodhi grins at him and then they’re both laughing and Galen wants to hold onto this moment. How long has it been since he just laughed with someone?
He cups Bodhi’s face, wanting to thank him. Instead he finds himself offering, “Did you want to borrow the book?”
He’s not ready to let go of this or the hope it brings him and maybe if he gives Bodhi a reason to come back he will.
Bodhi stills, then shakes his head. “Not worth the trouble I’d be in if I was caught with it. There are some things I’m willing to risk getting caught with: a book isn’t one of them.”
Bodhi sits up to frown at him. He wets his lips and for a moment Galen thinks he’s going to ask another question, but he shuts his eyes instead. Galen reaches up and touches his cheek. “Was what you read interesting?”
“Yes.”
“Get it on your datapad and then discuss it with me later?” If Bodhi finds philosophy interesting there are plenty of books that Galen can recommend and maybe, just maybe, Bodhi will be the person he needs.
Bodhi blinks at him a moment, then shakes his head. “My datapad is locked down. I only have access to propaganda and an approved reading list. That book isn’t going to be on it.”
Galen rubs his thumb over Bodhi’s cheek. “Could I give you one of mine? They’re not locked down.”
“You have more than one datapad?”
“I know,” Galen agrees.
Bodhi huffs out a laugh before leaning in to kiss Galen. He smiles into the kiss pulling Bodhi close. He’s not ready for this to end and it seems Bodhi feels the same way. They take their time exploring each others bodies and their goodbye kiss in the morning lingers. He does give Bodhi one of his spare datapads, taking care to make sure that the book Bodhi had been looking over is downloaded onto it.
That’s how they start. Bodhi asks for more book recommendations and they discuss the ones Bodhi’s read. Galen finds himself reading philosophy books he hasn’t in years, while trying to keep up with the fascinating number of books Bodhi can get through on star-ships. Even more rarely they read fiction.
“Did you know there’s a language function on this?” Bodhi tells him one evening after dinner as he’s sitting on Galen’s couch, going through the datapad with a look of delight on his face.
Galen sits behind him and wraps an arm around him, kissing Bodhi’s neck as he asks, “What languages are on there?”
Bodhi holds up the datapad so Galen can look over the list of languages the program Bodhi’s found is offering. He stills as he sees the program Bodhi’s been running. “You’re learning Shyrriiwook?”
“When I can understand a Wookie I’ll remember that skepticism in your voice and it’ll make me smile,” Bodhi teases.
Galen laughs, smiling against Bodhi’s back as he tightens his hold. Bodhi shifts so they can kiss and Galen finds himself hoping the two of them can share many more nights like this before he needs to tell Bodhi what the two of them are helping to build.
Then the next time he’s expecting to see Bodhi that evening the thunder stops. Galen goes to look out the lab at the rain still falling in dark sheets. There’s no lightening. He makes swift apologies and shuts down his station. There are only a few exits that would let one go stand out in the rain. He finds Bodhi standing outside, face turned up towards the rain with a smile, at the second exit he checks. He watches silently for a moment, enjoying the delight on Bodhi’s face. He approaches slowly. “It’s still cold.”
“If you were worried you’d have brought a poncho,” Bodhi retorts.
Galen shakes his head. “Is this everything you hoped for?”
Bodhi looks at him then and Galen isn’t sure what to do with the haunted look in Bodhi’s eyes or the worry on his face.
“Did something happen?” Galen asks.
“I went home.”
“That bad?”
Bodhi looks towards the building and then at Galen. His shoulders fall.
“Bodhi, did something happen?” Galen pushes. He wants to take Bodhi inside and dry him off and hold him close. He wishes he had the ability to get Bodhi away from whatever is putting that look on his face.
“All the books...the things we...you want me to ask.”
Is the time now? Would Bodhi help him? Galen doesn’t even have a firm plan. “Yes.”
“If I asked what they’re building here you’d tell me?” Bodhi’s words come out slow and halting. They’re tinged with bitterness. He’s not even looking at Galen, just over his shoulder. There's strain on Bodhi's face and worry in his eyes.
“I would.”
“I don’t have the clearance,” Bodhi reminds.
“I’d still tell you.”
Bodhi takes a deep shuddering breath and Galen reminds himself he doesn’t believe Bodhi will turn him in.
“That book about kyber crystals, it hurt to read. I’m from Jedha, do you even understand that? Everything I was raised to believe has been ransacked and made illegal. The Guardians of the Whills, they guard nothing. I’ve helped make it so they guard nothing! And I should ask, I’ve been wanting to ask since that first night, but I just went home and my mother looks better than she has in years. The medicine I can finally afford, the food...my family isn’t starving anymore. My sister and her children are healthy. She’s got them into a good school, they can afford to go to school. If I ask, I can handle going hungry myself, but how am I supposed to put all their lives in danger? They’ll be questioned, maybe even blamed if I, if I…”
Galen steps close and cups Bodhi’s cheeks, wiping at the rain water mixed with tears. Bodhi relaxes at the touch and stills.
“It’s not operational,” Galen manages to offer. “I don’t need you to ask me just yet. Okay?”
Bodhi nods, clinging to his hands. Galen wraps his arms around Bodhi. Bodhi shudders and leans against him. Galen kisses the side of his head. He’s not ready to give this up. He’s not ready for Bodhi to ask either.
So they don’t talk about what’s being built from their efforts, they just keep the relationship as it’s been. Books and conversations and sex, Galen tells himself he’s satisfied with this. He tries not to think of what will happen if Orson discovers the relationship. He knows he needs a plan for the day when Bodhi does ask.
Two and a half years pass and Galen not sure he’ll be able to let Bodhi go when the time comes. He’s not sure Bodhi will ever be ready to ask and Galen thinks he should be sorry about that, but the thought of putting Bodhi in danger, of losing another person he cares for, makes every part of him ache.
Bodhi’s shipment is a day late and when Galen looks into it he sees that Bodhi is being given a day to attend his mother’s funeral.
“Just a day?” Galen asks the cargo bay supervisor. “I thought Jedhan funerals were three days?”
She shrugs. “Standard is a day and not everyone even gets that.”
Any more questions and he’ll start to look suspicious. Galen tries to force himself to go back to work, but worry runs through him. After Bodhi arrives he forces himself to stay in his office until he can see that the cargo is off the ship. For a moment he wonders if he should wait in his office for Bodhi or check the cafeteria they often meet in, but waiting and worrying aren't one of his strong suits. He decides to head down to the cargo bay instead. He finds Bodhi huddling on his bunk in his shuttle.
“You didn’t have to come,” Bodhi whispers. “But I’m glad you did.”
Galen perches on the bed long enough to squeeze Bodhi’s shoulder and take off his shoes. He cuddles close on the narrow bed and wraps his arms tightly around Bodhi.
Bodhi’s quiet, his shoulders shaking occasionally.
“I’m sorry,” Galen offers.
“She already asked other people to mourn her,” Bodhi tells him. “She already had the whole thing planned out for both my sister and me not to be there.”
“Your sister isn’t there?”
“She left. Everyone has a different story about when and how, they know I can’t know the details,” Bodhi tells him.
“It’d put her in danger,” Galen agrees.
They lapse into silence and Galen waits until Bodhi relaxes against him to urge him up and to Galen’s room. He gets them some dinner and brushes Bodhi’s hair, then gets Bodhi to go to sleep. Over breakfast Bodhi stares at his plate and manages, “Do you want me to ask?”
Neither of them are ready.
“Not yet,” Galen tells him. Bodhi nods.
Except months later the station is operational and Galen knows that he can’t afford to wait any longer, that they may have waited too long. He gets Bodhi to agree to meet him in the town. They don’t go there often, but at least it’s away from prying ears, and at least this time Galen thinks he may have a plan.
He’s not sure how to broach the subject until the two of them are alone and Bodhi pulls him close and says, “You need me to ask, don’t you?”
“It’s operational. I’m sorry.”
Bodhi nods. Galen wishes this didn’t hurt so much.
Their eyes meet. Bodhi takes Galen’s hands and squeezes them as he asks, “Galen, what are we building here?”
~~~~~*****~~~~~
Galen opens his eyes feeling disoriented and sore. The last thing he remembers is thinking he’s dying while Jyn holds him. A hand squeezes his and Galen shifts his head slowly. His daughter is smiling at him. He tries to say her name, to smile back.
“Slow Papa,” she tells him. “A nurse or doctor will be over in a moment.”
“Where?”
“A ship for now,” she tells him. There’s a man with her. He’s not Bodhi. There’s beeping suddenly and Jyn is telling him to relax.
The man stands. “What are you worried about Dr. Erso?”
“It’s destroyed,” Jyn tells him.
At the same time the man reassures, “Bodhi’s fine.”
Galen stares. “Both those things, both of them?”
“Yes,” Jyn tells him.
“And you're safe?” he asks.
“I am,” she reassures. “As safe as anyone can be in the middle of a war.”
He squeezes her hand. “Your friend?”
Jyn shifts so Cassian can introduce himself.
“Wait till you meet the droid he’s friends with,” Jyn tells him with a smile that reminds him of Lyra.
Galen reaches out to touch her face. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Jyn squeezes his hand. “I’m here.”
“Bodhi?” he finally lets himself ask.
Jyn and Cassian exchange a look that Galen can’t interrupt. He sinks back against the bed. Is Bodhi hurt? Where is he? Didn’t Cassian say he was fine?
“Maybe linearly?” Cassian suggests.
“Saw tortured him,” Jyn tells him bluntly. “Bodhi won’t really talk about it, but he’s mostly okay. He gets a little lost sometimes. Threw the whole med staff into a frenzy when they finally examined him, but they’re letting him fly so he must be okay.”
Galen isn’t sure how to process that. “Can I see him?”
What if Bodhi doesn’t want to see him? Galen suddenly wishes he’d could’ve sent Bodhi with a plan that wasn’t find Saw Gerrera.
“That’s what I meant by the linear part,” Cassian says fondly as he looks at Jyn. “I was thinking start with the destruction of the Death Star, then get into where Bodhi is.”
“He’s not here,” Galen realizes.
They agree that he isn’t.
“Not that he didn’t want to be here, but we didn’t know when you’d wake up or if you’d wake up,” Jyn tells him frowning.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” Galen says squeezing her hand again.
She nods. “Thanks for not dying.”
They still, both taking the other in for a moment. It’s been so long since he’s seen her. It’s been years since he really dared to hope she was alive.
“So linear,” Galen prompts.
Jyn sits back down, keeping a hold of his hand. “Somehow the Princess of Alderaan found herself a Jedi in training and sent him up there to implement your plan. The Death Star got destroyed, but somehow in rescuing Princess Leia the Jedi’s mentor got himself killed.”
Galen stares.
“Yes, there are Jedi now,” Cassian agrees. “Or a Jedi in training and he and the Guardians we found on Jedha decided he needed more training.”
“There are Guardians?” Galen sighs. “When I heard the weapon had been used on Jedha I thought the worst.”
“Just the two,” Jyn tells him. “Chirrut and Baze. We don’t know if anyone but us made it off of Jedha.”
Galen nods and swallows. He wants to ask if the Death Star destroyed any other cities, but he’s not sure if he can handle the guilt or the vast numbers of people that must have died.
“So after the Death Star was destroyed there was a medal ceremony. You get a medal by the way, but after the ceremony Chirrut got into an argument with Luke’s, that’s the Jedi in training, mentor who died, because apparently they could somehow still communicate. I don’t know, I didn’t see him.”
“I couldn’t see him either,” Cassian agreed.
“Luke could see him and so could Bodhi,” Jyn informs him.
“I think Leia could see him too,” Cassian puts in.
“Could she?” Jyn asks.
“She kept glaring at the spot that Chirrut was talking too and then shaking her head or agreeing with Chirrut so it seemed like she was a part of the conversation,” Cassian tells them.
Galen feels a bit lost.
Jyn shrugs. “Anyway Luke look mortified, it was adorable, and Bodhi couldn’t stop laughing. He had to sit down and nearly keeled over from laughing so much. If there was a guy named Kenobi there Chirrut told him about himself and scolded him and then insisted that he tell them where another Jedi was so Luke could finish his training. Then he and Baze decided they had to go with so that Luke could skip all the bureaucratic nonsense-I think that’s how Chirrut put it?”
“Baze swore. Chirrut was more diplomatic, but only after he’d told Kenobi about himself,” Cassian agrees.
“They decided because Bodhi is from Jedha that he could take them, drop them off, and then either drop off supplies or pick them up in a month or so,” Jyn finishes.
“I’m relatively sure Jedi training took years not a month,” Galen says slowly.
Cassian shrugs. “If anyone can find still surviving Jedi to shove Luke at it’s going to be Chirrut.”
“How many surviving Jedi are there?” Galen asks skeptically.
“Right now one,” Jyn tells him, “But maybe he’ll know of someone else and then Chirrut will probably go rouse them up too.”
“This Chirrut isn’t a Jedi?” Galen frowns.
“He says he isn’t,” Cassian answers. “Or he says they had too many rules.”
“He and Baze were both Guardians,” Jyn adds.
Galen nods still feeling overwhelmed, but at least relieved that Bodhi is alive and the Death Star is destroyed.
“Have you reached a stopping point?” a woman Galen doesn’t recognize asks, before she’s stepping in and checking him over.
Recovery feels slow. He nearly died a few times, but they get him up and moving as soon as they can. He and Jyn are getting to know each other. She has a sharp sarcastic sense of humor, though seems guarded at times. He eventually finds out the whole story of what happened after he sent Bodhi off with his message and he doesn’t know how to process it.
Jedha. Scarif. Alderaan. The sheer number of people dead overwhelms him. The names of the people who died bringing down the Death Star haunt him.
And then there’s the relief that Orson is dead.
He can only move forward Galen decides. He needs to help the Rebellion in any way he can. This mostly seems to be answering questions.
They room him with Bodhi, who still isn’t back. Jyn informs him of this with a look of mischievous delight.
“You seem to be enjoying this.”
She nods. “You think I’m not going to poke and prod you to make an honest man out of my new best friend?”
“So you can tease Bodhi?” Galen guesses.
“Yes. I never thought I’d want a step-dad, but now there’s no escaping the thought that I need one.”
“Is that so?” Galen smiles.
“It’s either that or threaten each of you not to hurt the other and that way seems less fun for all of us,” Jyn smirks.
“Somehow I think you’d enlist Cassian’s help.”
“And Kaytoo.”
“I still haven’t met your droid friend,” Galen points out.
“He said he’s waiting to make an impression after Bodhi returns,” Jyn informs him.
“I’m going to get intimidated by a former Imperial droid,” Galen realizes out loud.
“Mostly I think he’s just going to loom,” Jyn tries to reassure.
He gives her a look that makes it clear that this isn’t reassuring. She grins in response and Galen feels himself relax. He squeezes her shoulder in thanks that she’s still alive and in front of him. She’s not comfortable with hugs or feeling confined, but she’s comfortable with him touching her shoulder. She knows she’s welcome to hug him if she wants to.
Days later Galen is sitting down on the bed, wanting a break after physical therapy, when Bodhi walks in. Bodhi stills at the sight of him. “You’re here. You’re awake.”
Galen pushes himself up so he can meet Bodhi. Bodhi lets his door slide shut and steps forwards. His eyes roam over Galen. He reaches out and touches Galen’s arm, then his shoulder, then the front of his shirt.
“I’m here. I’m sorry I worried you.”
Bodhi’s fingers flex against his shirt collar and then he surging forward for a kiss and Galen reaches up to cup his cheeks. Bodhi stumbles back his whole body going tense as his arms go limp and he wheezes in a sharp breath. Galen drops his hand. Bodhi turns away from him, arms hugging himself and shoulders hunched.
“I’m sorry,” Bodhi shudders. “I just...my face...I…”
“I shouldn’t touch you there,” Galen surmises. He wants to move closer. He wants to reassure Bodhi, but he doesn’t want to startle him either.
“I’m okay,” Bodhi tries before he turns in a circle and surveys their room with a lost look. He frowns.
“You’re not,” Galen contradicts. “I’m sorry.”
“Better me than someone else,” Bodhi whispers.
Galen shakes his head.
Bodhi frowns at the blank walls. “Ship. I’m still using the cargo hauler we got on Eadu. I’m more comfortable there. I might be able to tell you there.”
“Whatever your comfortable with,” Galen ressures.
Bodhi nods, then heads out in the hallway. Galen attempts to keep up. Bodhi slows down for him. Galen grimaces.
“We’re both a mess,” Bodhi comments.
“Yes,” Galen agrees. “We’ll heal.”
Galen stops when the ship opens up and he can see all the ships that are parked inside of it. Just how big a ship is this? There are people and droids working on multiple different projects. It’s loud and chaotic. Bodhi’s shoulders visibly relax.
Bodhi points out where his ship in. As they start over a Wookie pulls Bodhi into a sideways hug and the two start talking about a repair they made to the Wookie’s ship. At least that’s what Galen thinks the conversation is about, he’s not entirely sure since he can only understand Bodhi's words. He just stands there with a smile on his face as he watches Bodhi work through several ideas with his friend about a problem he’s having with his ship. Abruptly they turn to him and Bodhi is introducing him to Chewbacca. After getting Bodhi to agree to help out after dinner, Chewbacca gives Bodhi one last hug, pats Galen on the back and then heads off. Galen watches him go. Bodhi grins at him, pressing his lips together.
“You’ve made friends,” Galen comments.
“Yes,” Bodhi agrees.
“Is he going to try and intimidate me later?”
Bodhi shakes his head, then frowns slightly.
“I’d really like to kiss you right now,” Galen admits.
Bodhi bites his bottom lip briefly, then looks away. “Ship first.”
More than one person greets Bodhi as they make their way over. Bodhi excitedly points out several different kinds of ships. They finally make their way into the shuttle. Galen eases himself down on the first seat he can find. Bodhi sits next to him, Galen watches as Bodhi opens his mouth, closes it, then frowns as he looks to the side.
“Bodhi,” Galen sighs as he reaches towards Bodhi slowly. He lets his thumb touch Bodhi’s chin, then run over his mouth. Bodhi sighs and takes off his goggles and sets them on the seat next to them. He takes Galen’s hand and slowly guides it to different spots on his head so Galen can feel the scars there. Galen’s feels himself go cold. He wants to ask, but isn’t sure if Bodhi’s ready to tell him more than this, that something attached itself to his head hard enough to leave scars.
“Saw thought I was lying,” Bodhi tells him, voice soft. “He-he had a, he called it Bor Gullet and it attached...it pulled all my memories and thoughts and feelings out of my head to see if I was lying and then shoved everything back in. I might not have gotten everything back. Nothing really linear until I was talking to Cassian on Jedha. Everything before that is a jumbled mess. I managed to hang onto knowing you, how I felt about you, and that the message was important, but everything else is just...the medics aren’t sure how I’m not a scrambled mess, but I’m mostly know what I’m doing, usually.”
“Jyn mentioned you get lost sometimes.”
“Sometimes, not often. The worse was on Yavin 4. It was raining and I panicked thinking I was still on Eadu. Chewbacca threw a blanket around me and said I was a pilot before putting me in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon and asking me how I’d fly it. That tends to work, calms me down to be in a ship or thinking about flying a ship.”
“Is the Millennium Falcon his ship?” Galen asks.
Bodhi shakes his head.
“It my ship,” a voice says from the bottom of the ramp.
“Han,” Bodhi complains. “I’m getting there.”
“Hey, I just came over here to welcome you back and because Chewie asked me to. He didn’t think your much older boyfriend…” Han starts as he walks onto the ship.
“You’re going to lecture me on age differences?” Bodhi interrupts dryly.
Galen squeezes Bodhi’s hand, feeling lighter at the shift from upset and hesitant to defending himself in Bodhi. Clearly the distraction his friend is providing is helping.
“Not me,” Han says clapping a hand on his chest as he attempts to look innocent and offended at the same time. “I’m just over here to say welcome back and because Chewie wanted me to remind your boyfriend that when Wookie’s get upset they tend to rip people’s arms off.”
“Chewbacca wanted you to say all that?” Bodhi attempts to clarify, his voice thick with skepticism.
“Yes, of course.”
“I just got back,” Bodhi reminds. “This is the first conversation Galen and I are having.”
Galen smiles. “I doubt he’ll be the last of your friends to try and intimidate me.”
“Not me,” Han protests. “This was for Chewie. Threats don’t work as well if the person can’t understand them, besides I’m not the Corellian you need to look out for. You want to worry about the short one that’s usually running around in orange.”
Bodhi groans and buries his face against Galen’s shoulder. “Wedge is not going to do anything.”
“Right, keep telling yourself that. You’ve gotten yourself a long line of people that think they have to look out for you,” Han contradicts.
“Luke is fine Han,” Bodhi reassures. “He’s got his X-wing if he needs to come back early. I just need to be able to get Chirrut and Baze. I’ll run them more supplies in a month if they’re not back.”
Han blinks. “Did they find this Yoda?”
“Yoda?” Galen asks. He at least knows who that is. “He’s really still alive?”
“I’m not supposed to say anything about who they might have been going to see or where they went and yes I deleted the log Han,” Bodhi informs them.
Han throws up his hands in what Galen assumes is another gesture of faux innocence, before he turns and grins, “Hey Kaytoo, do you need to come up here and do some intimidation?”
“Statistically speaking that tactic has a tendency to drive two people together and not apart,” K-2SO chides as he enters the ship. Even knowing beforehand that K-2SO is a former Imperial droid isn’t enough for Galen to realize how that would make the breath catch in his throat. “It would be more effective to…”
“Kaytoo,” Bodhi complains. “I just got back.”
K-2SO regards them briefly before telling Han, “As you have no desire to see Bodhi upset I suggest we both leave the ship and let them get reacquainted with each other.”
Han protests, but follows K-2SO off the ship. Bodhi gets up and closes the ramp. Han loudly protests. Bodhi shakes his head.
Bodhi turns to smiles at him. Galen smiles back.
“I think you said something about kissing me,” Bodhi reminds.
“Yes, please,” Galen says, relief washing over him. It’s been entirely too long since he’s gotten to kiss Bodhi.
Bodhi closes the distance between them, straddling Galen’s hips and then leaning in. Galen rests one hand on Bodhi’s leg as they kiss, letting the other slide up Bodhi’s chest. He rubs a thumb over Bodhi’s collar bone. Bodhi’s fingers are teasing at the base of Galen’s hair, but he pauses and reaches back to pull his hair tie out. He takes Galen’s hand and presses it to his head. Galen slides his hand into Bodhi’s hair with a hum of happiness as Bodhi deepens the kiss.
Galen isn’t quite sure how he’s going to fit into this new life yet, but he’s sure if he asks Bodhi will have answers.