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Title: Navigating the Possibilities
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairings: Qui-Gon Jinn/Ezra Bridger
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly knighted Qui-Gon travels to Lothal to find a loth-wolf. He meets Ezra.
A/N: For the Jedi June prompt There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
Navigating the Possibilities:
There's a holorecording of a wolf specific to Lothal in the temple archive on Coruscant. It's grainy and old. It's not easy to pick out details. Qui-Gon isn't sure how many times he's watched it, but now that he's a knight he's determined to see one in person. He's optimistic as he settles down on the ground in front of the abandoned Jedi temple on Lothal. He's read that the loth-wolves can touch and even perhaps manipulate the Force. With the right opportunity he might be able to learn something from them. Qui-Gon extends his senses out into the Force. He asks and trusts that it will send him a teacher. He acknowledges that even though he's no longer a padawan he still has much to learn.
As Qui-Gon is closing his eyes there's a flash of light and the sense of an enormous protective mind. His eyes fly open and he isn't sure how to process the purrgil swimming in the atmosphere above him. Why would the Force send him a purrgil when he asked for a loth-wolf while meditating on Lothal? This doesn’t make any sense.
Curiously Qui-Gon reaches out mentally towards the purrgil. It's old. There's a sense of exhaustion after a long journey and still that layer of protectiveness. The enormity of her mind is difficult to grasp. She swims low towards him, but Qui-Gon knows she doesn't intend to harm him. She turns and a tendril extends down to the ground. Qui-Gon rises as he realizes that multiple tendrils are creating a humanoid like shape. Is she doing this to communicate or is she holding a person in her grasp? The tendrils unravel slowly, revealing a young man with short cropped dark hair. His eyes are closed. He’s breathing. As the last of her tendrils slide away he collapses in a heap. She swims back up towards the atmosphere and Qui-Gon can feel the way she's using the Force to help her. Purrgils can use the Force! Qui-Gon can't wait to get back to Coruscant and report this, just after he meets a loth-wolf. There's a warning and Qui-Gon obediently shuts his eyes. There's a flash of light and his sense of her is gone.
The person on the ground rolls over onto his back and groans.
"Are you hurt?" Qui-Gon asks as he rushes towards him.
Blue eyes blink up at him in confusion. "Who are...did we win?"
"Win?" Qui-Gon asks, not sure what the young man means.
His eyes dart over Qui-Gon’s face in confusion.
"Your hair isn't exactly regulation," he observes.
"Regulation?" He's been growing his hair out since he no longer has a padawan braid, but he doesn't think that's what this guy means.
“For an Imperial,” the man elaborates.
“Imperial? I’m afraid I don’t know what that is.”
The man lets his head drop back into the dirt and groans as he closes his eyes. “Karabast.”
Qui-Gon tilts his head. Then he sighs in frustration. He tries to reach for calm, the dignity he should display when representing his Order. "I'm Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn."
The guy sits up abruptly, alarm and confusion flaring through him, but under it all a sudden fierce protectiveness toward Qui-Gon. "Why would you introduce yourself like...what are you wearing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
Qui-Gon frowns down at his robes. They could be neater, but they're still presentable. Worse yet he doesn't know what this guy wants to protect him from. Is he hiding something?
"Peace, there's no danger here on Lothal," Qui-Gon attempts to reassure.
"Qui-Gon Jinn," the guy muses, then frowns. His gaze shifts behind Qui-Gon, eyes widening as he takes in the temple. He stands slowly. There's hope mixed with a heady dose of confusion sliding through him. "It's back."
Qui-Gon turns, surveying the temple. It doesn't appear to have changed. It feels the same, except for a sense of anticipation. A breath being held, right before the exhale, and the conviction that comes with a change in one's life.
"I'm supposed to go in," the guy says absently.
"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees. "You're being called."
He shouldn't be surprised that this guy is also a Jedi, not if he's traveling by purrgil. Would he be willing to teach Qui-Gon how to travel by purrgil? Qui-Gon watches silently as the guy brushes off his pants, then walks towards the temple. Then Qui-Gon sighs and closes his eyes. He decides to meditate to calm himself from this unexpected interruption, then resumes his attempt to call a loth-wolf to him. His eyes fly open again as he realizes the guy is being knighted. They look about the same age, but how was a padawan traveling by purrgil? Where was his Master? Qui-Gon wants to stomp into the temple and demand answers.
“Peace,” he reminds himself. First loth-wolves and then answers. He tries to meditate, but finds himself distracted and remembering how the guy arrived.
"I got knighted," the guy announces as he flops down next to Qui-Gon. "This is weird."
Qui-Gon let's himself open one eye to look at him. Then he acknowledges, "It's weird. I don't know your name."
“I'm Ezra Bridger.”
“Jedi Knight Ezra Bridger,” Qui-Gon corrects.
Ezra wrinkles his nose while giving him a look of concern. “You’re going to get us killed.”
“We are not going to be killed,” Qui-Gon tries to reassure as he closes his eyes again. “I’m going to use the Force to call a loth-wolf to me and then I will commune with it. Afterwards you may travel back to the temple on Coruscant with me and we may present our findings to the Master of the Archives.”
“That’s a lot of words for ‘I’m going to get us both killed,'” Ezra protests. “How are you this ignorant? If you use the Force then an Inquisitor will find us. And what temple on Coruscant? There’s no temple on Coruscant.”
Qui-Gon opens his eyes and turns so he’s facing Ezra. “Of course there’s a temple on Coruscant. That’s the main Jedi temple. How can you be a Jedi and not know this?”
Qui-Gon tells himself not to become frustrated. He knows that Ezra is a Jedi, he can feel that. A Jedi can’t know everything, they are always still learning, still it does seem odd to not know where the main temple is located.
“Main temple,” Ezra repeats, sounding incredulous.
“You really find it difficult to believe the main temple is on Coruscant?”
“You sounded really Imperial when you just said that,” Ezra critiques. “Except I can tell you’re a Jedi.”
“Imperial?” Qui-Gon questions.
“You really don’t know?” Ezra says, sounding as if he’s thinking out loud and confused. “How are you even still alive?”
“You’ve said that several times,” Qui-Gon points out. “And yet here I am, still alive.”
“It doesn’t make any sense!” Ezra protests.
“Peace,” Qui-Gon sighs.
“Peace! Peace? How is that supposed to help?”
Qui-Gon frowns. He’s suddenly grateful he didn’t invite Master Dooku with him. He’d not enjoy this undignified display, not that Dooku ever seemed to look down on Qui-Gon when he was undignified, and Rael seems to be undignified by default, but still Qui-Gon is sure Ezra’s display would upset Master Dooku. Wouldn’t it? Is he judging Ezra too harshly? Qui-Gon isn’t sure. Who taught Ezra? The Force saw wisdom in knighting him, but clearly Ezra still has much to learn.
“Fear is the path to the dark side,” Qui-Gon tries.
Ezra stills, then shakes his head. “This isn’t fear. This is indignation and a will to live. Maybe a little frustration that you’ll easily put our lives in danger while saying 'peace' but not explaining anything!”
"How exactly am I putting our lives in danger?" Qui-Gon isn't about to say that he's starting to find Ezra frustrating as well.
Ezra stands and gestures to the area surrounding them. "What's your getaway plan if an Inquisitor shows up?"
"Would you clarify what an Inquisitor is?" Qui-Gon asks.
Ezra’s arms drop to his sides and he goes still. He also suddenly feels less confused and more suspicious. Qui-Gon isn't sure what to make of Ezra's feelings. Ezra looks past him at the temple, then asks with a deceptively calm voice, "What's the year?"
Qui-Gon tells him. Ezra's gaze shifts back to him.
"I think I need to sit down," Ezra declares. "Asking that question while standing was a bad idea."
He continues to stand. Qui-Gon sighs through his nose and stands. He steps close to Ezra. "Do you need help sitting down?"
Ezra shakes his head, then states, "Depa Billaba."
Qui-Gon frowns. He's not sure what Ezra just said.
"Do you know who Depa Billaba is?" Ezra clarifies.
"No, I don't," Qui-Gon says.
"Mace Windu?" Ezra asks.
"He's a contemporary," Qui-Gon answers. "We grew up together."
Surely there's no need to mention that he and Mace dated.
Ezra nods tightly. "Technically I would be his great-grand padawan."
"Knight, you're a knight now," Qui-Gon protests weakly, even as he registers that his words don't make much sense.
"Maybe I should've had us both sit down before I said that," Ezra grimaces.
"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees before he sits back down. Ezra sits down next to him. Qui-Gon can feel the truth in his words and yet that makes all of their earlier confusing conversation suddenly tinged with a sense of foreboding. "Maybe you should explain to me what an Inquisitor is."
"Are you asking?" Ezra prods.
Qui-Gon turns to stare. He’s bad with words sometimes, finds that he’s not always making himself clear. It wasn’t difficult when he was a padawan, Dooku tends to be very eloquent. Mace is good about parsing what he means and then nudging him towards finding the words he needs. Now Ezra is asking for clarification and it reminds him of Mace. Ezra tilts his head and raises his eyebrows.
“I am,” Qui-Gon clarifies.
Ezra opens his mouth, then closes it, before blowing out a frustrated breath. He runs a hand down his face and then flop back into the dirt.
“Should I not ask?” Qui-Gon ventures.
“Sometimes changing the past can make the present worse,” Ezra says.
Qui-Gon frowns. He wants to point out that it sounds like Ezra has experience with this. There’s a melancholy sadness rising in him.
“Did it make it worse?” Qui-Gon asks.
“What?” Ezra says, then sighs. “I don’t know. I was going to save...my Master died containing an explosion. I had an opportunity to save him, but then Ah-Ful...another person who taught me pointed out how many people would’ve died if he hadn’t contained the explosion as much as he did.”
“Your Master died?”
“Yes,” Ezra answers.
Qui-Gon flops down next to Ezra and shifts easily to hug him. He can’t imagine losing Dooku, even now when he’s no longer a padawan. He knows he passed his trials, but he always feels as if there is still so much to learn, so much he doesn’t know yet. Qui-Gon understands he can’t learn everything, but he wants to know as much as he can, and wants to understand as much as he can. Knowing Dooku is still available to him is a comfort, a balm.
Ezra rubs his back and presses close, resting his forehead in the crook of Qui-Gon’s neck. It’s a bit of an awkward hug, him lying on top of Ezra like this, but it’s almost a satisfactory cuddle. Qui-Gon’s never been good at cuddling either. He always feels awkward with his too long limbs that Dooku keeps promising he’ll grow into. Ezra sighs against him and Qui-Gon can feel him starting to relax so he lets himself start to relax.
“So there’s a main temple on Coruscant?” Ezra asks.
“Yes,” Qui-Gon says as he shifts back so he can look down at Ezra.
Their eyes meet. Ezra feels hopeful.
“Then there’s bound to be someone there with more wisdom than me that can help me…”
“Us,” Qui-Gon corrects. “I’ll stick by you. I’ll help you through this.”
Ezra grins up at him and Qui-Gon feels his breath catch. He wants suddenly, wants Ezra in a way he hasn’t wanted anyone since Mace. Ezra laughs and touches his cheek. “Us then. We’ll go there and see if there is someone who can help us untangle the mess of a future I come from.”
“I came here to see a loth-wolf,” Qui-Gon says. He knows he sounds stubborn, but if they’re going to get tangled up in figuring out the future Ezra comes from will he ever make it back to Lothal?
“I’m going to get one of my stupid ill-timed crushes on you,” Ezra warns.
“Okay,” Qui-Gon agrees.
Ezra laughs again. Then he shifts up and presses a brief kiss against Qui-Gon’s lips. Qui-Gon barely has time to kiss back before Ezra drops his head back into the dirt. Qui-Gon touches his lips. He wants to try that again. Ezra taps his hip. “Okay, up. Let’s see if I can ask a loth-wolf here. They’re stubborn so they might not come, but I’ll try.”
Qui-Gon’s eyes widen in amazement. “Can you show me?”
Ezra shrugs. “You can feel what I’m going to do, right?”
“Yes.”
Ezra grins and cups his cheek. “Then let's try, but first you have to let me up.”
“Oh, yes. Sorry,” Qui-Gon says as he rolls off and then sits up.
Ezra sits up and then starts brushing the dirt off of him. Qui-Gon reaches over to do the same to him. At least they’re both a bit rumbled and dirty. Eventually they sit back and Ezra closes his eyes. Qui-Gon watches as Ezra takes several slow breaths, reaching for calm. Then Ezra reaches out, but reaches for creatures that are familiar to him. It’s a request to see them that’s tinged with a need to see a friend when he’s in a time where there will be little that’s familiar to him.
And then there are just suddenly four presences. The loth-wolves loop through the grass towards them. They’re so much larger than Qui-Gon imagined. For a brief moment he wonders if he and Ezra are in danger from them, but then they slow as they come close. The lead one is a silver color and he approaches Ezra, lowering his snout to touch Ezra’s forehead. They’re communicating! Qui-Gon can’t make out more than how it startles Ezra at first, but this doesn’t completely surprise Ezra. Qui-Gon stares at Ezra in amazement.
“They might be able to get me home,” Ezra says. He’s not going. Qui-Gon leans against him. Ezra sighs and leans back. Sacrifice is often the Jedi way, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Qui-Gon rubs a hand down Ezra’s back. Part of him wants to wonder at the loth-wolves, but Ezra is making a decision and needs the comfort more than Qui-Gon needs to be amazed at the wonders he can find in the universe.
“You can make a new home here,” Qui-Gon tries. “It won’t be easy, but you’ll have support.”
Ezra reaches over and takes his free hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you. If I go back I’ll wonder how many lives could be saved, how many histories could be saved. I’d love to see my family again, the people that are still alive, but the cost would be too great and I would feel too selfish.”
“You’re a Jedi.”
Ezra smiles. “There is that. Did you want to ask them anything?”
Qui-Gon shakes his head. It’s enough to see them. He should probably take a holorecording, but that feels disrespectful. “May I touch one?”
The loth-wolf that is near Ezra lowers his head and Qui-Gon feels the permission he’s given. Qui-Gon bows his head. “Thank you.”
Then he reaches up and runs a hand along the loth-wolf’s snout. He’s not sure what the future will hold, but from where Qui-Gon is sitting one hand holding Ezra’s and the other touching a loth-wolf all he can see is possibility.
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairings: Qui-Gon Jinn/Ezra Bridger
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly knighted Qui-Gon travels to Lothal to find a loth-wolf. He meets Ezra.
A/N: For the Jedi June prompt There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
Navigating the Possibilities:
There's a holorecording of a wolf specific to Lothal in the temple archive on Coruscant. It's grainy and old. It's not easy to pick out details. Qui-Gon isn't sure how many times he's watched it, but now that he's a knight he's determined to see one in person. He's optimistic as he settles down on the ground in front of the abandoned Jedi temple on Lothal. He's read that the loth-wolves can touch and even perhaps manipulate the Force. With the right opportunity he might be able to learn something from them. Qui-Gon extends his senses out into the Force. He asks and trusts that it will send him a teacher. He acknowledges that even though he's no longer a padawan he still has much to learn.
As Qui-Gon is closing his eyes there's a flash of light and the sense of an enormous protective mind. His eyes fly open and he isn't sure how to process the purrgil swimming in the atmosphere above him. Why would the Force send him a purrgil when he asked for a loth-wolf while meditating on Lothal? This doesn’t make any sense.
Curiously Qui-Gon reaches out mentally towards the purrgil. It's old. There's a sense of exhaustion after a long journey and still that layer of protectiveness. The enormity of her mind is difficult to grasp. She swims low towards him, but Qui-Gon knows she doesn't intend to harm him. She turns and a tendril extends down to the ground. Qui-Gon rises as he realizes that multiple tendrils are creating a humanoid like shape. Is she doing this to communicate or is she holding a person in her grasp? The tendrils unravel slowly, revealing a young man with short cropped dark hair. His eyes are closed. He’s breathing. As the last of her tendrils slide away he collapses in a heap. She swims back up towards the atmosphere and Qui-Gon can feel the way she's using the Force to help her. Purrgils can use the Force! Qui-Gon can't wait to get back to Coruscant and report this, just after he meets a loth-wolf. There's a warning and Qui-Gon obediently shuts his eyes. There's a flash of light and his sense of her is gone.
The person on the ground rolls over onto his back and groans.
"Are you hurt?" Qui-Gon asks as he rushes towards him.
Blue eyes blink up at him in confusion. "Who are...did we win?"
"Win?" Qui-Gon asks, not sure what the young man means.
His eyes dart over Qui-Gon’s face in confusion.
"Your hair isn't exactly regulation," he observes.
"Regulation?" He's been growing his hair out since he no longer has a padawan braid, but he doesn't think that's what this guy means.
“For an Imperial,” the man elaborates.
“Imperial? I’m afraid I don’t know what that is.”
The man lets his head drop back into the dirt and groans as he closes his eyes. “Karabast.”
Qui-Gon tilts his head. Then he sighs in frustration. He tries to reach for calm, the dignity he should display when representing his Order. "I'm Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn."
The guy sits up abruptly, alarm and confusion flaring through him, but under it all a sudden fierce protectiveness toward Qui-Gon. "Why would you introduce yourself like...what are you wearing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
Qui-Gon frowns down at his robes. They could be neater, but they're still presentable. Worse yet he doesn't know what this guy wants to protect him from. Is he hiding something?
"Peace, there's no danger here on Lothal," Qui-Gon attempts to reassure.
"Qui-Gon Jinn," the guy muses, then frowns. His gaze shifts behind Qui-Gon, eyes widening as he takes in the temple. He stands slowly. There's hope mixed with a heady dose of confusion sliding through him. "It's back."
Qui-Gon turns, surveying the temple. It doesn't appear to have changed. It feels the same, except for a sense of anticipation. A breath being held, right before the exhale, and the conviction that comes with a change in one's life.
"I'm supposed to go in," the guy says absently.
"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees. "You're being called."
He shouldn't be surprised that this guy is also a Jedi, not if he's traveling by purrgil. Would he be willing to teach Qui-Gon how to travel by purrgil? Qui-Gon watches silently as the guy brushes off his pants, then walks towards the temple. Then Qui-Gon sighs and closes his eyes. He decides to meditate to calm himself from this unexpected interruption, then resumes his attempt to call a loth-wolf to him. His eyes fly open again as he realizes the guy is being knighted. They look about the same age, but how was a padawan traveling by purrgil? Where was his Master? Qui-Gon wants to stomp into the temple and demand answers.
“Peace,” he reminds himself. First loth-wolves and then answers. He tries to meditate, but finds himself distracted and remembering how the guy arrived.
"I got knighted," the guy announces as he flops down next to Qui-Gon. "This is weird."
Qui-Gon let's himself open one eye to look at him. Then he acknowledges, "It's weird. I don't know your name."
“I'm Ezra Bridger.”
“Jedi Knight Ezra Bridger,” Qui-Gon corrects.
Ezra wrinkles his nose while giving him a look of concern. “You’re going to get us killed.”
“We are not going to be killed,” Qui-Gon tries to reassure as he closes his eyes again. “I’m going to use the Force to call a loth-wolf to me and then I will commune with it. Afterwards you may travel back to the temple on Coruscant with me and we may present our findings to the Master of the Archives.”
“That’s a lot of words for ‘I’m going to get us both killed,'” Ezra protests. “How are you this ignorant? If you use the Force then an Inquisitor will find us. And what temple on Coruscant? There’s no temple on Coruscant.”
Qui-Gon opens his eyes and turns so he’s facing Ezra. “Of course there’s a temple on Coruscant. That’s the main Jedi temple. How can you be a Jedi and not know this?”
Qui-Gon tells himself not to become frustrated. He knows that Ezra is a Jedi, he can feel that. A Jedi can’t know everything, they are always still learning, still it does seem odd to not know where the main temple is located.
“Main temple,” Ezra repeats, sounding incredulous.
“You really find it difficult to believe the main temple is on Coruscant?”
“You sounded really Imperial when you just said that,” Ezra critiques. “Except I can tell you’re a Jedi.”
“Imperial?” Qui-Gon questions.
“You really don’t know?” Ezra says, sounding as if he’s thinking out loud and confused. “How are you even still alive?”
“You’ve said that several times,” Qui-Gon points out. “And yet here I am, still alive.”
“It doesn’t make any sense!” Ezra protests.
“Peace,” Qui-Gon sighs.
“Peace! Peace? How is that supposed to help?”
Qui-Gon frowns. He’s suddenly grateful he didn’t invite Master Dooku with him. He’d not enjoy this undignified display, not that Dooku ever seemed to look down on Qui-Gon when he was undignified, and Rael seems to be undignified by default, but still Qui-Gon is sure Ezra’s display would upset Master Dooku. Wouldn’t it? Is he judging Ezra too harshly? Qui-Gon isn’t sure. Who taught Ezra? The Force saw wisdom in knighting him, but clearly Ezra still has much to learn.
“Fear is the path to the dark side,” Qui-Gon tries.
Ezra stills, then shakes his head. “This isn’t fear. This is indignation and a will to live. Maybe a little frustration that you’ll easily put our lives in danger while saying 'peace' but not explaining anything!”
"How exactly am I putting our lives in danger?" Qui-Gon isn't about to say that he's starting to find Ezra frustrating as well.
Ezra stands and gestures to the area surrounding them. "What's your getaway plan if an Inquisitor shows up?"
"Would you clarify what an Inquisitor is?" Qui-Gon asks.
Ezra’s arms drop to his sides and he goes still. He also suddenly feels less confused and more suspicious. Qui-Gon isn't sure what to make of Ezra's feelings. Ezra looks past him at the temple, then asks with a deceptively calm voice, "What's the year?"
Qui-Gon tells him. Ezra's gaze shifts back to him.
"I think I need to sit down," Ezra declares. "Asking that question while standing was a bad idea."
He continues to stand. Qui-Gon sighs through his nose and stands. He steps close to Ezra. "Do you need help sitting down?"
Ezra shakes his head, then states, "Depa Billaba."
Qui-Gon frowns. He's not sure what Ezra just said.
"Do you know who Depa Billaba is?" Ezra clarifies.
"No, I don't," Qui-Gon says.
"Mace Windu?" Ezra asks.
"He's a contemporary," Qui-Gon answers. "We grew up together."
Surely there's no need to mention that he and Mace dated.
Ezra nods tightly. "Technically I would be his great-grand padawan."
"Knight, you're a knight now," Qui-Gon protests weakly, even as he registers that his words don't make much sense.
"Maybe I should've had us both sit down before I said that," Ezra grimaces.
"Yes," Qui-Gon agrees before he sits back down. Ezra sits down next to him. Qui-Gon can feel the truth in his words and yet that makes all of their earlier confusing conversation suddenly tinged with a sense of foreboding. "Maybe you should explain to me what an Inquisitor is."
"Are you asking?" Ezra prods.
Qui-Gon turns to stare. He’s bad with words sometimes, finds that he’s not always making himself clear. It wasn’t difficult when he was a padawan, Dooku tends to be very eloquent. Mace is good about parsing what he means and then nudging him towards finding the words he needs. Now Ezra is asking for clarification and it reminds him of Mace. Ezra tilts his head and raises his eyebrows.
“I am,” Qui-Gon clarifies.
Ezra opens his mouth, then closes it, before blowing out a frustrated breath. He runs a hand down his face and then flop back into the dirt.
“Should I not ask?” Qui-Gon ventures.
“Sometimes changing the past can make the present worse,” Ezra says.
Qui-Gon frowns. He wants to point out that it sounds like Ezra has experience with this. There’s a melancholy sadness rising in him.
“Did it make it worse?” Qui-Gon asks.
“What?” Ezra says, then sighs. “I don’t know. I was going to save...my Master died containing an explosion. I had an opportunity to save him, but then Ah-Ful...another person who taught me pointed out how many people would’ve died if he hadn’t contained the explosion as much as he did.”
“Your Master died?”
“Yes,” Ezra answers.
Qui-Gon flops down next to Ezra and shifts easily to hug him. He can’t imagine losing Dooku, even now when he’s no longer a padawan. He knows he passed his trials, but he always feels as if there is still so much to learn, so much he doesn’t know yet. Qui-Gon understands he can’t learn everything, but he wants to know as much as he can, and wants to understand as much as he can. Knowing Dooku is still available to him is a comfort, a balm.
Ezra rubs his back and presses close, resting his forehead in the crook of Qui-Gon’s neck. It’s a bit of an awkward hug, him lying on top of Ezra like this, but it’s almost a satisfactory cuddle. Qui-Gon’s never been good at cuddling either. He always feels awkward with his too long limbs that Dooku keeps promising he’ll grow into. Ezra sighs against him and Qui-Gon can feel him starting to relax so he lets himself start to relax.
“So there’s a main temple on Coruscant?” Ezra asks.
“Yes,” Qui-Gon says as he shifts back so he can look down at Ezra.
Their eyes meet. Ezra feels hopeful.
“Then there’s bound to be someone there with more wisdom than me that can help me…”
“Us,” Qui-Gon corrects. “I’ll stick by you. I’ll help you through this.”
Ezra grins up at him and Qui-Gon feels his breath catch. He wants suddenly, wants Ezra in a way he hasn’t wanted anyone since Mace. Ezra laughs and touches his cheek. “Us then. We’ll go there and see if there is someone who can help us untangle the mess of a future I come from.”
“I came here to see a loth-wolf,” Qui-Gon says. He knows he sounds stubborn, but if they’re going to get tangled up in figuring out the future Ezra comes from will he ever make it back to Lothal?
“I’m going to get one of my stupid ill-timed crushes on you,” Ezra warns.
“Okay,” Qui-Gon agrees.
Ezra laughs again. Then he shifts up and presses a brief kiss against Qui-Gon’s lips. Qui-Gon barely has time to kiss back before Ezra drops his head back into the dirt. Qui-Gon touches his lips. He wants to try that again. Ezra taps his hip. “Okay, up. Let’s see if I can ask a loth-wolf here. They’re stubborn so they might not come, but I’ll try.”
Qui-Gon’s eyes widen in amazement. “Can you show me?”
Ezra shrugs. “You can feel what I’m going to do, right?”
“Yes.”
Ezra grins and cups his cheek. “Then let's try, but first you have to let me up.”
“Oh, yes. Sorry,” Qui-Gon says as he rolls off and then sits up.
Ezra sits up and then starts brushing the dirt off of him. Qui-Gon reaches over to do the same to him. At least they’re both a bit rumbled and dirty. Eventually they sit back and Ezra closes his eyes. Qui-Gon watches as Ezra takes several slow breaths, reaching for calm. Then Ezra reaches out, but reaches for creatures that are familiar to him. It’s a request to see them that’s tinged with a need to see a friend when he’s in a time where there will be little that’s familiar to him.
And then there are just suddenly four presences. The loth-wolves loop through the grass towards them. They’re so much larger than Qui-Gon imagined. For a brief moment he wonders if he and Ezra are in danger from them, but then they slow as they come close. The lead one is a silver color and he approaches Ezra, lowering his snout to touch Ezra’s forehead. They’re communicating! Qui-Gon can’t make out more than how it startles Ezra at first, but this doesn’t completely surprise Ezra. Qui-Gon stares at Ezra in amazement.
“They might be able to get me home,” Ezra says. He’s not going. Qui-Gon leans against him. Ezra sighs and leans back. Sacrifice is often the Jedi way, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Qui-Gon rubs a hand down Ezra’s back. Part of him wants to wonder at the loth-wolves, but Ezra is making a decision and needs the comfort more than Qui-Gon needs to be amazed at the wonders he can find in the universe.
“You can make a new home here,” Qui-Gon tries. “It won’t be easy, but you’ll have support.”
Ezra reaches over and takes his free hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you. If I go back I’ll wonder how many lives could be saved, how many histories could be saved. I’d love to see my family again, the people that are still alive, but the cost would be too great and I would feel too selfish.”
“You’re a Jedi.”
Ezra smiles. “There is that. Did you want to ask them anything?”
Qui-Gon shakes his head. It’s enough to see them. He should probably take a holorecording, but that feels disrespectful. “May I touch one?”
The loth-wolf that is near Ezra lowers his head and Qui-Gon feels the permission he’s given. Qui-Gon bows his head. “Thank you.”
Then he reaches up and runs a hand along the loth-wolf’s snout. He’s not sure what the future will hold, but from where Qui-Gon is sitting one hand holding Ezra’s and the other touching a loth-wolf all he can see is possibility.
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