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rivulet027 Aug. 13th, 2021 05:16 am)
rivulet027 Aug. 13th, 2021 05:16 am)Title: Though the Wind Pried With Its Stiff Fingers
Fandom: Star Wars Post Empire Strikes Back
Pairing: Lando/Luke
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lando and Luke talk about what happened on Bespin.
A/N: Written for smaragdbird for the![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
raremaleslashex. Title from the Mary Oliver poem The Journey.
Though the Wind Pried With Its Stiff Fingers:
Luke frowns down at his mechanical hand. It looks very real and from what he can tell it feels very real too, but every time he looks down at it he’s reminded of Darth Vader’s words and he feels lost. He flexes the fingers as he looks out the viewport. He wishes he had someone he could talk to about Vader's words and at the same time he doesn’t feel steady enough to head back to Dagobah. Yoda may have the truth for him, he's just not sure he's ready to hear it. He's stopped trying to contact Ben.
"Is there a reason you're avoiding your astromech?" Lando asks from the doorway.
Luke turns, still flexing his new fingers. He wants to say he isn't avoiding Artoo, but he doesn’t have the energy for lies. Luke huffs and looks back out the viewport. "He's not mine."
"Alright," Lando says slowly as he approaches. "You're his."
Luke frowns and tilts his head. He glances at Lando. Lando grins at him. Luke looks back down at his mechanical hand, that's easier to look at than the promises in Lando's smile.
"I doubt you're here because you're concerned about Artoo," Luke challenges. He almost winces. His aunt, if she was still alive, would chide him for being impolite. No, Lando got his friends hurt working with Vader, working with the Empire. Aunt Beru wouldn't be polite in the face of either of those scenarios.
Lando lets out a whistle and rocks back on his heels. Luke reminds himself that Lando is a con artist too and that he...Luke stops himself. He takes a slow breath. He's spiraling towards negative thoughts. Yoda warned him to avoid that, to not get lost in the negative, except Vader’s words make him feel like he's drowning. He can't swallow them down and he can't ignore them. His aunt and uncle always made his father out to be a man who loved adventure. They'd lied to him, hadn't they? They'd always gone on about the child his grandmother had loved enough to make sure he became a pilot so he’d be able to make his life far from Tatooine. How would they have told him his father is a murderer? His father feels cold and full of hate. If he can feel that dark, what does that say about Luke?
"Hey," Lando says, catching his attention.
Luke blinks against the tears that are starting paths down his cheeks. He draws up his hand to wipe them away, then pauses when he realizes he almost touched his face with the mechanical one. Will it feel different? He stares at it, blinks, then brings his flesh hand up to wipe at his face.
"Hey they did a good job, didn't they?" Lando asks, indicating the mechanical hand.
It would be so easy to blame Lando for everything that's happened. Luke knows it would be easy, but for everything Lando did, that doesn't erase what Luke did. He blames himself too. Yoda warned him he wasn't ready and he didn't listen. Luke suddenly isn’t sure if the guilt he’s feeling is his own or Lando’s.
“I’m sorry you got hurt,” Lando tries.
Luke sighs. “It’s not your fault.”
“If your friends weren’t in trouble, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Lando reasons. “As much as I’d like to place all the blame on that lying scum Vader I can’t. I gambled and I lost.”
Luke frowns. “Gambled?”
Giving Han to Vader was a gamble?
Lando shrugs. It’s all faux nonchalance. Luke can feel how guilty Lando is, how chagrined. Lando shakes his head. His eyes stray to the viewport. “I was the Baron Administrator, everyone there counted on my leadership. They needed me to make the tough calls. The chance that we could continue to live and work without the Empire breathing down our necks...a guarantee from the Empire that they’d leave us alone, that was too sweet a pot to turn down. Vader knew it. I should’ve known it was a con. I should’ve seen it. I shouldn’t have...I came down here to apologize and make sure you’re doing alright, not botch the apology and try to justify my decisions.”
Luke tries to reach for a smile, to placate Lando, so that Lando will leave and let Luke stew in the melancholy he can’t seem to let go of. It’s a watery weak smile, but Luke tries. “I don’t think I’m the one you need to apologize to.”
Lando scrutinizes him briefly. Then Lando takes both his hands, both of them: the flesh one and the mechanical one. He runs the pad of his thumb over the backs of both of them at the same time. Luke stares down at them. He wets his lips. That’d been pleasant, on both hands.
“Do that again?”
“Still getting used to the new one?” Lando asks.
Luke nods. “I still have physical therapy.”
Lando makes a low considering noise, then brings Luke’s mechanical hand up and brushes a kiss over the back of it. Their eyes meet.
“How did that feel?” Lando asks.
“Nice.”
Lando smirks slowly, then brings Luke’s flesh hand up and kisses the back of it.
“And how did that feel?”
Luke swallows.
“Was it just as good or was there less sensation in one than the other?” Lando continues asking.
Luke’s mouth is suddenly dry.
“Do you want me to continue?” Lando asks. “Or do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
“I think Vader might have lied to me,” Luke tries. Lando says he lies, maybe that was the truth and everything Vader told him is also lies. What kind of person cuts off his own son’s hand before revealing that he’s their father? It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?
“You mean you hope he lied to you?” Lando says evenly. He feels full of sympathy.
Luke frowns. How can Lando tell?
“Did he promise you anything?” Lando pushes as he slowly draws Luke closer, wrapping Luke’s arms around his neck.
“Nothing I would want,” Luke reassures.
“Nothing you want, but something you can’t stop thinking about?” Lando guesses.
Luke nods.
Lando leans in, his eyes staring to Luke’s lips. “Do you need to talk about it or do you want to forget about it for a while? Cause I’m up for either.”
Luke stills, thinks about what’s on offer for a moment, then decides, “I'm tired of thinking about it right now.”
Then they’re kissing and Luke can only press closer to Lando.
Fandom: Star Wars Post Empire Strikes Back
Pairing: Lando/Luke
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Lando and Luke talk about what happened on Bespin.
A/N: Written for smaragdbird for the
raremaleslashex. Title from the Mary Oliver poem The Journey.Though the Wind Pried With Its Stiff Fingers:
Luke frowns down at his mechanical hand. It looks very real and from what he can tell it feels very real too, but every time he looks down at it he’s reminded of Darth Vader’s words and he feels lost. He flexes the fingers as he looks out the viewport. He wishes he had someone he could talk to about Vader's words and at the same time he doesn’t feel steady enough to head back to Dagobah. Yoda may have the truth for him, he's just not sure he's ready to hear it. He's stopped trying to contact Ben.
"Is there a reason you're avoiding your astromech?" Lando asks from the doorway.
Luke turns, still flexing his new fingers. He wants to say he isn't avoiding Artoo, but he doesn’t have the energy for lies. Luke huffs and looks back out the viewport. "He's not mine."
"Alright," Lando says slowly as he approaches. "You're his."
Luke frowns and tilts his head. He glances at Lando. Lando grins at him. Luke looks back down at his mechanical hand, that's easier to look at than the promises in Lando's smile.
"I doubt you're here because you're concerned about Artoo," Luke challenges. He almost winces. His aunt, if she was still alive, would chide him for being impolite. No, Lando got his friends hurt working with Vader, working with the Empire. Aunt Beru wouldn't be polite in the face of either of those scenarios.
Lando lets out a whistle and rocks back on his heels. Luke reminds himself that Lando is a con artist too and that he...Luke stops himself. He takes a slow breath. He's spiraling towards negative thoughts. Yoda warned him to avoid that, to not get lost in the negative, except Vader’s words make him feel like he's drowning. He can't swallow them down and he can't ignore them. His aunt and uncle always made his father out to be a man who loved adventure. They'd lied to him, hadn't they? They'd always gone on about the child his grandmother had loved enough to make sure he became a pilot so he’d be able to make his life far from Tatooine. How would they have told him his father is a murderer? His father feels cold and full of hate. If he can feel that dark, what does that say about Luke?
"Hey," Lando says, catching his attention.
Luke blinks against the tears that are starting paths down his cheeks. He draws up his hand to wipe them away, then pauses when he realizes he almost touched his face with the mechanical one. Will it feel different? He stares at it, blinks, then brings his flesh hand up to wipe at his face.
"Hey they did a good job, didn't they?" Lando asks, indicating the mechanical hand.
It would be so easy to blame Lando for everything that's happened. Luke knows it would be easy, but for everything Lando did, that doesn't erase what Luke did. He blames himself too. Yoda warned him he wasn't ready and he didn't listen. Luke suddenly isn’t sure if the guilt he’s feeling is his own or Lando’s.
“I’m sorry you got hurt,” Lando tries.
Luke sighs. “It’s not your fault.”
“If your friends weren’t in trouble, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Lando reasons. “As much as I’d like to place all the blame on that lying scum Vader I can’t. I gambled and I lost.”
Luke frowns. “Gambled?”
Giving Han to Vader was a gamble?
Lando shrugs. It’s all faux nonchalance. Luke can feel how guilty Lando is, how chagrined. Lando shakes his head. His eyes stray to the viewport. “I was the Baron Administrator, everyone there counted on my leadership. They needed me to make the tough calls. The chance that we could continue to live and work without the Empire breathing down our necks...a guarantee from the Empire that they’d leave us alone, that was too sweet a pot to turn down. Vader knew it. I should’ve known it was a con. I should’ve seen it. I shouldn’t have...I came down here to apologize and make sure you’re doing alright, not botch the apology and try to justify my decisions.”
Luke tries to reach for a smile, to placate Lando, so that Lando will leave and let Luke stew in the melancholy he can’t seem to let go of. It’s a watery weak smile, but Luke tries. “I don’t think I’m the one you need to apologize to.”
Lando scrutinizes him briefly. Then Lando takes both his hands, both of them: the flesh one and the mechanical one. He runs the pad of his thumb over the backs of both of them at the same time. Luke stares down at them. He wets his lips. That’d been pleasant, on both hands.
“Do that again?”
“Still getting used to the new one?” Lando asks.
Luke nods. “I still have physical therapy.”
Lando makes a low considering noise, then brings Luke’s mechanical hand up and brushes a kiss over the back of it. Their eyes meet.
“How did that feel?” Lando asks.
“Nice.”
Lando smirks slowly, then brings Luke’s flesh hand up and kisses the back of it.
“And how did that feel?”
Luke swallows.
“Was it just as good or was there less sensation in one than the other?” Lando continues asking.
Luke’s mouth is suddenly dry.
“Do you want me to continue?” Lando asks. “Or do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
“I think Vader might have lied to me,” Luke tries. Lando says he lies, maybe that was the truth and everything Vader told him is also lies. What kind of person cuts off his own son’s hand before revealing that he’s their father? It’s unbelievable, isn’t it?
“You mean you hope he lied to you?” Lando says evenly. He feels full of sympathy.
Luke frowns. How can Lando tell?
“Did he promise you anything?” Lando pushes as he slowly draws Luke closer, wrapping Luke’s arms around his neck.
“Nothing I would want,” Luke reassures.
“Nothing you want, but something you can’t stop thinking about?” Lando guesses.
Luke nods.
Lando leans in, his eyes staring to Luke’s lips. “Do you need to talk about it or do you want to forget about it for a while? Cause I’m up for either.”
Luke stills, thinks about what’s on offer for a moment, then decides, “I'm tired of thinking about it right now.”
Then they’re kissing and Luke can only press closer to Lando.