![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Joy is Not Made To Be a Crumb
Fandom: MMPR
Characters/Pairings: Adam/Rocky
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Power Rangers. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rocky's POV. Post Always a Chance Justin asks Rocky if Adam can stay with him.
A/N: Written for capsquared for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
pine4pine. Title from the Mary Oliver poem Don't Hesitate.
Joy is Not Made To Be a Crumb:
Rocky doesn’t initially think anything’s wrong when Justin teleports to his apartment. Justin usually stops by a once a week for video games and food, sometimes he buries himself in Rocky’s textbooks. It might not be a prearranged visit, but it’s not unusual for Justin to stop by. Then he sees Justin’s face. He drops what he’s doing and hugs the younger boy close. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Justin tells him. From Justin’s tone Rocky can tell he’s not. “You should probably sit down.”
If Justin is worried about him then the problem is likely not his very absentee father. They sit on Rocky’s couch. Briefly Rocky’s grateful he decided on a semi-close to Angel Grove community college. It lets him have his own apartment while he takes classes part-time. It’s close enough that he can drop in on his family or his friends don’t feel weird about teleporting/driving in to visit, but far enough away that he doesn’t feel as if he’s watching his best friend fall in love. What if it’s Adam? What if something happened to Adam? No, Adam doesn’t have a morpher anymore. He could still get hurt trying to get others to safety in the middle of a monster attack. It won’t be Adam. It can’t be Adam.
“It’s…Adam,” Justin informs him. Rocky feels himself go cold.
“Is he?”
“He’s alive,” Justin tries.
“That’s not that reassuring,” Rocky mutters, running a hand over his face. He chastises himself. He can’t be mean to Justin. Justin’s been through enough and often looks to him for emotional support. Justin reaches over and squeezes his hand. Rocky squeezes back.
Justin swallows, takes a breath, then continues, “There was an attack. He used his morpher to help protect Carlos.”
Rocky shakes his head. “His morpher isn’t attached to the morphing grid anymore. It’s too broken. Alpha said if we tried them we’d end up tapping into our own life energy and that…you’re sure he’s still alive?”
“He’s alive. The Astro rangers are caring for him, but he’s probably going to be weak for some time and they’re worried about his mental health,” Justin says.
Justin makes interstellar calls to a therapist that specializes in working with Power Rangers once a month. Maybe they can set something up for Adam?
“He can come here,” Rocky says. He’s only got the one bedroom, but he can sleep on his couch.
Justin smiles at him. “Thanks Rocky. That’s what we were going to ask. I’ll tell T.J.”
It doesn’t take long after calling the Astro rangers for T.J. and Carlos to show up helping Adam. They settle him in Rocky’s bed. Adam’s pallor is awful and he looks frustrated.
“I’m fine,” Adam tries.
Rocky snorts.
“I just need some rest. I can do that at home,” Adam attempts. “Rocky tell them.”
“I’d be more convinced if you didn’t need two people helping you,” Rocky tells him.
Adam gives him a betrayed look and Rocky isn’t ready to address that yet. T.J. and Carlos thank him and leave him with a device to plug into his computer that’ll let Adam talk to his new therapist. Rocky gets the feeling that T.J. and Carlos would like to stay longer, but they’re active rangers and have responsibilities. Justin lingers.
“Do you want to stay a bit?” Rocky offers.
Justin shakes his head. “I don’t think he wants me here.”
Rocky hugs him again and as Justin leans in Rocky asks, “Did something happen?”
Justin huffs. “It was my choice to stop being a Power Ranger. I don’t think he was as okay with passing his morpher on as he said he was.”
Clearly not. And there’s probably a lot that Justin isn’t saying, but Rocky isn’t sure they’re ready for a longer conversation, not with Adam stewing in his bedroom.
“Billy warned us it’d be an adjustment when we stopped,” Rocky tries. Billy had actually developed an exercise routine to help. Rocky isn’t sure how much it helped, he was injured when he gave up his powers. Still, he’d passed the information on to Justin.
Justin agrees, then checks the time. He’s apologetic about needing to leave, but has plans with his dad, that his dad promised to show up to. After he goes Rocky gets a glass of water and peeks into his bedroom. Adam is already asleep. Rocky places the water by the bed then goes to make up his couch.
He wakes up to Adam studying him from the bedroom doorway.
“Should you be up?” Rocky manages. He should get up and help Adam back to bed, especially with the way Adam is leaning against the doorframe.
“Why are you out here?” Adam asks.
“So you can have the bed?”
Adam snorts. “We’ve shared a bed before.”
“When we were kids.” They’re not kids anymore.
“We cuddled in high school,” Adam protests, then says more softly. “We cuddled until you left.”
Rocky wants to apologize. He opens his mouth. Adam shakes his head. “No, that’s on me. I concentrated on school and ranger stuff and…”
“We both got busy,” Rocky says. The words hurt, but they’re true. He, Adam, and Aisha used to be inseparable. Then Aisha passed her morpher to Tanya and he passed his morpher to Justin and they still talk, it’s just not the same as before.
“I miss you,” Adam sighs. “Can I have cuddles now?”
Rocky hesitates. He’s not used to denying Adam anything, but he also wants to protect himself.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Rocky protests.
Adam frowns at him. Rocky sighs and gets up to help him back to bed. Adam leans on him, but doesn’t move. Their eyes meet.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Adam says softly. “You know they brought me here because Justin assumed we were together.”
“Justin assumed we were together or Justin is trying to play matchmaker?” Rocky questions, then snaps his mouth shut. He’s always so much worse at keeping his thoughts to himself when he’s just waking up.
Adam snorts, “Both maybe.”
It’s a joke, maybe even gallows humor, because Adam is feeling so awful. There’s no way Adam means that. Rocky isn’t even going to ask him not to tease. He’s going to take care of his friend and send him home. And Rocky will move on, eventually. He helps Adam to bed, trying not to linger on the way Adam’s fingers curl into his sleeve as he helps him lay down bed. Rocky takes the other side of the bed, making sure to keep as much distance as he can between them.
“This is not cuddling,” Adam complains.
Rocky sighs and rolls over, letting himself look at Adam’s back. He starts to reach out, but then draws his hand back. Adam shifts, slowly. Rocky considers turning back around, but he can’t bring himself to. Then they’re looking at each other. Adam grimaces. “That should not have made me tired.”
“You could’ve died,” Rocky whispers. He can’t say the words louder than a whisper.
“You’re going to look at me like that and Aisha is going to yell,” Adam sighs.
"It's how you know she cares," Rocky comments.
For a moment Adam looks like he wants to protest or add to that thought, but then he just looks so tired. Instead he reiterates, "I don't have a girlfriend."
"I thought you and Tanya…" Rocky starts, then stops, not sure what else to say.
"If we'd gotten together you and Aisha would’ve been the first to know," Adam insists. "I'd have told you. She and I talked about it, but then when we realized we'd have to give up our morphers and could leave for college it didn't make sense, neither of us wanted to resent the other if long distance didn't work."
Rocky swallows, so Adam and Tanya might get together in the future. Adam frowns at him. Adam huffs.
“I’m sorry,” Rocky manages. Adam looks like he wants to say more, but he just sighs and shifts closer. Rocky cuddles close. It’s been maybe a year? Over a year? Rocky really missed cuddling with Adam. He hadn’t realized how deep his feelings for Adam were until he saw Adam and Tanya flirting and he’s been trying to do his best to keep those feelings to himself. He doesn’t want to hurt Adam, wasn’t going to get in the way when Adam clearly found someone. Part of the reason he moved, after his injury, was so he wouldn’t give into the temptation to tell Adam how he felt. Except Adam and Tanya never got together. Rocky considers revealing his feelings now, but then he considers how hurt Adam is. He doesn’t want to add to what Adam is dealing with.
So they cuddle and sleep…and Adam just fits himself into Rocky’s life again. It feels like when they were kids, except Aisha isn’t there and Adam gets tired easily. Adam starts taking classes at the community college, part time. It’s adorable the way Adam gets excited when he realizes that one of the nearby universities the college partners with has an MFA program. He can get his bachelor’s in English through the University Partnership and then apply to the program. Adam also tries to pay half the rent, insisting he has savings. Rocky tells him to save that money for tuition. He can afford the rent.
They settle into a routine together too. Adam does the cooking on the days Rocky has both classes and work. Rocky does the cooking when he doesn’t have to work. They divide up the chores, though Adam promises to tell Rocky if he’s too tired and needs help. Eventually they pack up Adam’s car with his things and move him in.
“Should we look for a larger place when the lease is up?” Rocky asks.
Adam frowns.
“I thought you’d want your own room,” Rocky says. They still share a bed each night. It’s slightly crowded, but Rocky loves cuddling. He and Adam have been doing a lot of cuddling, not always in bed, sometimes on the couch. There have been a few times when Rocky thought Adam was going to kiss him. He wants to kiss Adam. Maybe if they get a two bedroom people will stop assuming they’re together. One of his classmates thought the two of them had to be arguing because they weren’t holding hands. Now Rocky can’t stop thinking about holding Adam’s hand, in public.
Adam looks around what’s become their home over the last several months and smiles. “I’d like that cat we keep talking about. An extra room would be nice because we could turn it into an office for our schoolwork and we wouldn’t have to keep clearing it off the table when we want to eat there, but I’m also comfortable here.”
Adam holds out his hand. Rocky takes it and lets himself be guided to the couch.
“I’m starting to feel better,” Adam says.
“Less tired?” Rocky asks.
“That too,” Adam agrees. “I mean about giving up my morpher. TJ was right, therapy is helping. I'm supposed to loudly praise it whenever we see Andros next.”
Rocky snorts.
Adam squeezes his hand and Rocky realizes he never let go. He stares at their hands. He doesn’t want to let go, but should he? Adam squeezes again.
“That night they brought me here, I wasn’t in a place to talk to you about my feelings. I thought about it. I wanted to. I think maybe you needed me to, but I wasn’t…I was dealing with a lot of other things in my head and didn’t feel right bringing it up.”
“Feelings?” Rocky says.
Adam lifts their joined hands and kisses Rocky’s knuckles. Rocky stills.
“I love you,” Adam tells him. “And I want to be in a relationship with you.”
“Is this cause everyone thinks we’re dating?” Rocky asks.
“No, this is because I love you. Rocky, when I almost died the only person I wanted to see after was you. When I saw you the first thing I wanted to do was kiss you, in front of our friends.”
“You wanted to kiss me?” Rocky manages.
“I want to,” Adam corrects. “Right now, if you want to?”
“Really?”
Adam nods.
Rocky leans in. Adam meets him halfway. Their lips brush, hesitant at first, but then Adam is using his free hand to cup Rocky’s cheek and they deepen the kiss. Adam’s fingers find their way into Rocky’s hair and Rocky gasps slightly at how good that feels. Adam shifts so that he’s straddling Rocky, kissing down into Rocky’s mouth and Rocky doesn’t want this to end, ever. Adam shifts back slowly. Rocky’s panting and wants to keep kissing.
“So be my boyfriend?” Adam asks with a knowing look.
Rocky grins, then laughs, “Aisha is going to tell us we did this backwards, moving in together before confessing our feelings.”
“Aisha is usually right about things, but I think this is what we needed,” Adam says. Rocky nods, agreeing. Adam grins and kisses him again.
Fandom: MMPR
Characters/Pairings: Adam/Rocky
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Power Rangers. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rocky's POV. Post Always a Chance Justin asks Rocky if Adam can stay with him.
A/N: Written for capsquared for
pine4pine. Title from the Mary Oliver poem Don't Hesitate.Joy is Not Made To Be a Crumb:
Rocky doesn’t initially think anything’s wrong when Justin teleports to his apartment. Justin usually stops by a once a week for video games and food, sometimes he buries himself in Rocky’s textbooks. It might not be a prearranged visit, but it’s not unusual for Justin to stop by. Then he sees Justin’s face. He drops what he’s doing and hugs the younger boy close. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Justin tells him. From Justin’s tone Rocky can tell he’s not. “You should probably sit down.”
If Justin is worried about him then the problem is likely not his very absentee father. They sit on Rocky’s couch. Briefly Rocky’s grateful he decided on a semi-close to Angel Grove community college. It lets him have his own apartment while he takes classes part-time. It’s close enough that he can drop in on his family or his friends don’t feel weird about teleporting/driving in to visit, but far enough away that he doesn’t feel as if he’s watching his best friend fall in love. What if it’s Adam? What if something happened to Adam? No, Adam doesn’t have a morpher anymore. He could still get hurt trying to get others to safety in the middle of a monster attack. It won’t be Adam. It can’t be Adam.
“It’s…Adam,” Justin informs him. Rocky feels himself go cold.
“Is he?”
“He’s alive,” Justin tries.
“That’s not that reassuring,” Rocky mutters, running a hand over his face. He chastises himself. He can’t be mean to Justin. Justin’s been through enough and often looks to him for emotional support. Justin reaches over and squeezes his hand. Rocky squeezes back.
Justin swallows, takes a breath, then continues, “There was an attack. He used his morpher to help protect Carlos.”
Rocky shakes his head. “His morpher isn’t attached to the morphing grid anymore. It’s too broken. Alpha said if we tried them we’d end up tapping into our own life energy and that…you’re sure he’s still alive?”
“He’s alive. The Astro rangers are caring for him, but he’s probably going to be weak for some time and they’re worried about his mental health,” Justin says.
Justin makes interstellar calls to a therapist that specializes in working with Power Rangers once a month. Maybe they can set something up for Adam?
“He can come here,” Rocky says. He’s only got the one bedroom, but he can sleep on his couch.
Justin smiles at him. “Thanks Rocky. That’s what we were going to ask. I’ll tell T.J.”
It doesn’t take long after calling the Astro rangers for T.J. and Carlos to show up helping Adam. They settle him in Rocky’s bed. Adam’s pallor is awful and he looks frustrated.
“I’m fine,” Adam tries.
Rocky snorts.
“I just need some rest. I can do that at home,” Adam attempts. “Rocky tell them.”
“I’d be more convinced if you didn’t need two people helping you,” Rocky tells him.
Adam gives him a betrayed look and Rocky isn’t ready to address that yet. T.J. and Carlos thank him and leave him with a device to plug into his computer that’ll let Adam talk to his new therapist. Rocky gets the feeling that T.J. and Carlos would like to stay longer, but they’re active rangers and have responsibilities. Justin lingers.
“Do you want to stay a bit?” Rocky offers.
Justin shakes his head. “I don’t think he wants me here.”
Rocky hugs him again and as Justin leans in Rocky asks, “Did something happen?”
Justin huffs. “It was my choice to stop being a Power Ranger. I don’t think he was as okay with passing his morpher on as he said he was.”
Clearly not. And there’s probably a lot that Justin isn’t saying, but Rocky isn’t sure they’re ready for a longer conversation, not with Adam stewing in his bedroom.
“Billy warned us it’d be an adjustment when we stopped,” Rocky tries. Billy had actually developed an exercise routine to help. Rocky isn’t sure how much it helped, he was injured when he gave up his powers. Still, he’d passed the information on to Justin.
Justin agrees, then checks the time. He’s apologetic about needing to leave, but has plans with his dad, that his dad promised to show up to. After he goes Rocky gets a glass of water and peeks into his bedroom. Adam is already asleep. Rocky places the water by the bed then goes to make up his couch.
He wakes up to Adam studying him from the bedroom doorway.
“Should you be up?” Rocky manages. He should get up and help Adam back to bed, especially with the way Adam is leaning against the doorframe.
“Why are you out here?” Adam asks.
“So you can have the bed?”
Adam snorts. “We’ve shared a bed before.”
“When we were kids.” They’re not kids anymore.
“We cuddled in high school,” Adam protests, then says more softly. “We cuddled until you left.”
Rocky wants to apologize. He opens his mouth. Adam shakes his head. “No, that’s on me. I concentrated on school and ranger stuff and…”
“We both got busy,” Rocky says. The words hurt, but they’re true. He, Adam, and Aisha used to be inseparable. Then Aisha passed her morpher to Tanya and he passed his morpher to Justin and they still talk, it’s just not the same as before.
“I miss you,” Adam sighs. “Can I have cuddles now?”
Rocky hesitates. He’s not used to denying Adam anything, but he also wants to protect himself.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Rocky protests.
Adam frowns at him. Rocky sighs and gets up to help him back to bed. Adam leans on him, but doesn’t move. Their eyes meet.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Adam says softly. “You know they brought me here because Justin assumed we were together.”
“Justin assumed we were together or Justin is trying to play matchmaker?” Rocky questions, then snaps his mouth shut. He’s always so much worse at keeping his thoughts to himself when he’s just waking up.
Adam snorts, “Both maybe.”
It’s a joke, maybe even gallows humor, because Adam is feeling so awful. There’s no way Adam means that. Rocky isn’t even going to ask him not to tease. He’s going to take care of his friend and send him home. And Rocky will move on, eventually. He helps Adam to bed, trying not to linger on the way Adam’s fingers curl into his sleeve as he helps him lay down bed. Rocky takes the other side of the bed, making sure to keep as much distance as he can between them.
“This is not cuddling,” Adam complains.
Rocky sighs and rolls over, letting himself look at Adam’s back. He starts to reach out, but then draws his hand back. Adam shifts, slowly. Rocky considers turning back around, but he can’t bring himself to. Then they’re looking at each other. Adam grimaces. “That should not have made me tired.”
“You could’ve died,” Rocky whispers. He can’t say the words louder than a whisper.
“You’re going to look at me like that and Aisha is going to yell,” Adam sighs.
"It's how you know she cares," Rocky comments.
For a moment Adam looks like he wants to protest or add to that thought, but then he just looks so tired. Instead he reiterates, "I don't have a girlfriend."
"I thought you and Tanya…" Rocky starts, then stops, not sure what else to say.
"If we'd gotten together you and Aisha would’ve been the first to know," Adam insists. "I'd have told you. She and I talked about it, but then when we realized we'd have to give up our morphers and could leave for college it didn't make sense, neither of us wanted to resent the other if long distance didn't work."
Rocky swallows, so Adam and Tanya might get together in the future. Adam frowns at him. Adam huffs.
“I’m sorry,” Rocky manages. Adam looks like he wants to say more, but he just sighs and shifts closer. Rocky cuddles close. It’s been maybe a year? Over a year? Rocky really missed cuddling with Adam. He hadn’t realized how deep his feelings for Adam were until he saw Adam and Tanya flirting and he’s been trying to do his best to keep those feelings to himself. He doesn’t want to hurt Adam, wasn’t going to get in the way when Adam clearly found someone. Part of the reason he moved, after his injury, was so he wouldn’t give into the temptation to tell Adam how he felt. Except Adam and Tanya never got together. Rocky considers revealing his feelings now, but then he considers how hurt Adam is. He doesn’t want to add to what Adam is dealing with.
So they cuddle and sleep…and Adam just fits himself into Rocky’s life again. It feels like when they were kids, except Aisha isn’t there and Adam gets tired easily. Adam starts taking classes at the community college, part time. It’s adorable the way Adam gets excited when he realizes that one of the nearby universities the college partners with has an MFA program. He can get his bachelor’s in English through the University Partnership and then apply to the program. Adam also tries to pay half the rent, insisting he has savings. Rocky tells him to save that money for tuition. He can afford the rent.
They settle into a routine together too. Adam does the cooking on the days Rocky has both classes and work. Rocky does the cooking when he doesn’t have to work. They divide up the chores, though Adam promises to tell Rocky if he’s too tired and needs help. Eventually they pack up Adam’s car with his things and move him in.
“Should we look for a larger place when the lease is up?” Rocky asks.
Adam frowns.
“I thought you’d want your own room,” Rocky says. They still share a bed each night. It’s slightly crowded, but Rocky loves cuddling. He and Adam have been doing a lot of cuddling, not always in bed, sometimes on the couch. There have been a few times when Rocky thought Adam was going to kiss him. He wants to kiss Adam. Maybe if they get a two bedroom people will stop assuming they’re together. One of his classmates thought the two of them had to be arguing because they weren’t holding hands. Now Rocky can’t stop thinking about holding Adam’s hand, in public.
Adam looks around what’s become their home over the last several months and smiles. “I’d like that cat we keep talking about. An extra room would be nice because we could turn it into an office for our schoolwork and we wouldn’t have to keep clearing it off the table when we want to eat there, but I’m also comfortable here.”
Adam holds out his hand. Rocky takes it and lets himself be guided to the couch.
“I’m starting to feel better,” Adam says.
“Less tired?” Rocky asks.
“That too,” Adam agrees. “I mean about giving up my morpher. TJ was right, therapy is helping. I'm supposed to loudly praise it whenever we see Andros next.”
Rocky snorts.
Adam squeezes his hand and Rocky realizes he never let go. He stares at their hands. He doesn’t want to let go, but should he? Adam squeezes again.
“That night they brought me here, I wasn’t in a place to talk to you about my feelings. I thought about it. I wanted to. I think maybe you needed me to, but I wasn’t…I was dealing with a lot of other things in my head and didn’t feel right bringing it up.”
“Feelings?” Rocky says.
Adam lifts their joined hands and kisses Rocky’s knuckles. Rocky stills.
“I love you,” Adam tells him. “And I want to be in a relationship with you.”
“Is this cause everyone thinks we’re dating?” Rocky asks.
“No, this is because I love you. Rocky, when I almost died the only person I wanted to see after was you. When I saw you the first thing I wanted to do was kiss you, in front of our friends.”
“You wanted to kiss me?” Rocky manages.
“I want to,” Adam corrects. “Right now, if you want to?”
“Really?”
Adam nods.
Rocky leans in. Adam meets him halfway. Their lips brush, hesitant at first, but then Adam is using his free hand to cup Rocky’s cheek and they deepen the kiss. Adam’s fingers find their way into Rocky’s hair and Rocky gasps slightly at how good that feels. Adam shifts so that he’s straddling Rocky, kissing down into Rocky’s mouth and Rocky doesn’t want this to end, ever. Adam shifts back slowly. Rocky’s panting and wants to keep kissing.
“So be my boyfriend?” Adam asks with a knowing look.
Rocky grins, then laughs, “Aisha is going to tell us we did this backwards, moving in together before confessing our feelings.”
“Aisha is usually right about things, but I think this is what we needed,” Adam says. Rocky nods, agreeing. Adam grins and kisses him again.
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